The Butterfly Effect.

Have you ever been reading the bible and really feel the spirit speak to you and knit together the themes of a passage so perfectly? That was this morning and I was just overwhelmed with the truth and light that came from the word. I'm going to try and convey what I got from it so I pray that this be clear and concise.

I started in 16 and the first thing the Lord says in verse 1 "The LORD said to Samuel, “How long will you grieve over Saul, since I have rejected him from being king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil, and go. I will send you to Jesse the Bethlehemite, for I have provided for myself a king among his sons.”
Woah. Right off the bat it's as if God was saying How long are you going to keep looking backward at what happened. I called you to run and thee is just so much truth in this question. How long do look back at what God has taken away and not look to what He will give? Note He doesn't wait for an answer He knows the answer so it's almost as thought God just said "WHEN are you going to get it together because I've got work for you to do so lets go."I don't know if I'm conveying the power in this verse very well but know this--> We ALL get stuck on the Saul's in our life --whether that be actual people or sins or regrets or whatever it is that is not looking toward what God is going to do next. (Note that next comes David-- a man after God's own heart who wasn't perfect but as I'll explain had favor with God and you know that brings AWESOME things.) Samuel's first response in verse 2 is worry. He's concerned with how he is going to get to wherer God tells him to go to Jesse, invite him to sacirice and then says and I will show you what you shall do Isn't that what He tells us He will do for us too? That he will guide our feet and light our path? so we need to get it together and trust Him.

Samuel is then at Jesse's trying to figure out who this king is and in verse 7 we are told this: "But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart."" He does look at the heart and thats what He judges by so let that be what we pursue-- the condition of people's hearts and change them if they are not right. Let us continually evaluate our own hearts and our own motives and pray that God clean them from any impurity.

So keep reading then comes the big fight scene with David and Goliath which is a story I have always loved. Here's what it tells you  (if you don't know it read 1 Samuel 17) -- you don't need armor or height or some special words you only need to know what David knew- that the Lord was all powerful. We know He knew this as in verse 45 he says to Goliath "This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand" He knew that God had a plan and He would work it out. Beautiful. absolutely beautiful.

In 1 Samuel 18 there is a small mention of Jonathan's friendship with David saying in verse one "the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Johnathan loved him as his own soul." What a beautiful friendship that I'm going to guess was built on Christ because I don't think such beauty can happen between people if built on Him. Which leads me to the next thing I want to point out that God will strengthen you both with friendship and in marriage. Where do I get this? at the end of 18 in verse 28-29 it shows this beautiful strength that is only merely mentioned but is really really beautiful. It says "²⁸But when Saul saw and knew that the LORD was with David, and that Michal, Saul’s daughter, loved him, ²⁹Saul was even more afraid of David. So Saul was David’s enemy continually."  I should mention that Saul now rejected from being King is then jealous of David's victory over the phillistine and now Saul let's Him marry his daughter perhaps to have some power over Him perhaps for something else but note that after they are married Saul is even more afraid of David. Sounds a little weird right? But that's what a marriage built on Christ should do-- it should be an unusual strength. It should make satan fear. It should make the "Saul's" be dispelled. How ironic songs of solomon 3:4 says "I've found the one my soul loves." that love that jonathan and david had but set on fire with love built on Christ is what a marriage should be. It's what I hope my marriage one day is.

Alright so here I am going to kinda put it all together in case I lost you somehow. 

1. Get OVER it. Whatever it is. Move foward for what God has in plan for you next

2. He is going to judge your heart and that is what matters. Not anything else. Where you heart is right now. 

3. It's that heart that will give you strength built have all your enemies delivered into your hand. Not just people but any strongholds on your life. All of them. He will conquer them if your heart is filled with Him. 

4. It's that heart that will attract people. Your friends and one day your mate and these friendships and relationships will build a strength that the enemy will fear. 

I have to laugh at how awesome God is. seriously. Just yesterday I was struggling a lot with this idea of being open or being guarded. Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." says to me to GUARD your heart. I've been praying a lot about if I am doing that effectively both through this blog and in friendships of mine. (perhaps opening up about this is even not being guarding my heart but I feel it necessary). It's a hard line to walk to make sure we are following these wise words but I think that God's message to me this morning is to not judge this based on my passed experiences. Not to have the standard of being guarded because of the Saul's in my life but to just run after Him. To let Him judge me and Him to set my boundaries and that heart will both work against enemies and strongholds but will also bring many blessings.  A bible study I have each day with a friend put us accidently reading the wrong day yesterday. The day was all about insecurities and Zaccheus and how insecurities kept Him from being with Jesus at first. It posed the question "What insecurities keep you from a strong relationship with Jesus?"What do you think it is for you? For me it's this-- I'm afraid of not being wise. I'm afraid of not guarding myself as proverbs tells us to do.

Alright here's the part where I'm going to be unguarded despite that I don't want to be but it's necessary to make this point. --- I can care too much about people and there is nothing that sucks more than caring way more than someone else does. Not just in relationships but in friendships, in dedication to school or work or whatever it is I have always believed in putting my all into everything I did. I'd read Collasians 3:23 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men," and took those words to heart. I prayed that each day I would do everything will all my heart as I would for the Lord--  but this didn't really work out for me that well. I'd find myself discouraged when I would put whatever I could into a friendship and wouldn't get as much back. I'd call, I'd go out of my way and they wouldn't.  I'd be disappointed a lot particularly in one relationship I was in where I really and truly just put my guard down and gave it what I had and the other person didn't. I'd feel kind of taken advantage of when I would get stuck doing a whole group project. Perhaps, it's that I was putting everything I had into things built on the world and that's why I always ended up empty handed but I just wanted to give everything I had like giving for the Lord and what I got in return was regret. So I'll admit when I heard Mark Driscoll talk about being a wall I thought great I can do that. (http://marshill.com/media/the-peasant-princess/i-was-a-wall) I can be guarded and be a wall and I've done that but I think I somehow along the way confused being a wall with what it really means. I used it as protection and not for wisdom which is actually the purpose. So I have held back from saying what I think, doing what I want, pursuing the desires God gives me because I was to afraid. and I hear myself in my own heart saying right now "Fear not is commanded more times in the bible than anything" and I have to laugh because i know that fact. But just like I knew the facts of the bible and couldn't feel it it took me a long time to apply this "fear not" principle. I'd say I've grown a lot in this through Jesus since i moved to Orlando but I still don't have it mastered and it's almost as though its become way too familiar to be guarded that I have to constantly be praying that the Lord be my strength and give me wisdom and discernment to do all things with all my heart and yet still guard it. A balance that I've error-ed very wrongly on both sides.

So perhaps that's what Gods presence is teaching me now. Give up my wall of insecurity that I didn't really recognize that I had up and just keep my wall of wisdom. Something I'll be praying that God's presence just overwhelm me and my heart that I know where He leads me to give my all and where He leads me to be cautious.

So as you all continue praying and seeking I pray that you ask yourself what insecurities that you have that are keeping you from the abundance God has promised. If Samuel just stayed and whined and cried David might not have become King, we might not have the book of Psalms and the other verses that David gave us... and ultimately that lineage led to Christ. Samuel trusting the Lord and going and anointing David is just one more step closer to giving us a savior. It's the butterfly effect that Andy Andrews talks about-- each little step matters to bring together the story of God. (Not the creepy Ashton Kutcher film but a book/ speech given about how your life matters in the kingdom http://www.andyandrews.com/ms/the-butterfly-effect/)  So with the help of Christ let him redeem your insecurities and start taking the steps God is calling you to take.

I don't think words really capture what God showed me this morning but that's my best attempt at explaining it. I hope you all will continue sharing the big things God is teaching you and know that I'm praying for you. Don't lose heart but finish strong!