So I went for my second opinion and the audiologist seemed much more helpful. He spent quite a bit of time with me and told me to come back and bring my husband so that my husband could help recreate some of the areas I am having trouble hearing. So the next day Paul and I went back to the audiologist and tried a couple different hearing aids, and unfortunately hearing aids really seem to be "you get what you pay for" with my type of hearing loss. We decided that I would try one out and that is what I have been doing.
So far I have run into some obstacles. First, using a stethoscope seemed impossible, until I met with my audiologist and he said " did you try just using it like normal" to which I said "i don't want to hurt it" and he said " you won't." This works fairly well though due to the wire it doesn't fit perfect. I need to get the mute button reprogramed as that got messed up, because as I'm trying to listen the aid amplifies the cartoons on in the background and the kid crying. But it is doable.
It's hard to know how much it helps me, because I really can't recreate all the times I couldn't hear, but my husband says he sees the difference and that's reassurance for me in part. I feel a little bit guilty having it just in the amount of money they cost, but my husband is so great and supportive and I am blessed to have him.
I did have a talk with my grandmother who informed me that my mom actually had hearing loss and hearing aids that she never wore. I don't remember my other ever using a hearing aid but how much time did I get to spend with her in all reality? not much. Apparently our family has a history of congenital hearing loss and that I probably am no different, I've just been coping very well. To say that it has been forever makes sense... because when it's all you have known you wouldn't know to look for something different.
I will say the world is louder than I knew it to be, and when I don't have it in I notice things like when I'm laying down watching tv and my good ear is down, I can't barely hear it, but if I sit up a little it's like magic, and I can.
It's been an experience to say the least, an adjustment period. But I am thankful for the opportunity and I'm praying God will put on my heart what the best course of action is as to whether to keep it or not.
I'll try and keep you all updated, and for those who find this that are hearing impaired know that my Jesus did give a guy back his hearing. There is hope. In heaven we won't need aids. :)
God bless!
Anita
Thursday, December 27, 2012
I know nothing of Calvary love
Hello!
I wanted to write to you today about a text that has been challenge my heart. It's by Amy Carmichael and is called "Calvary love." which can be found here: http://holytrinitynewrochelle.org/yourti96592.html
If you go and read it you will see some piercing thoughts but I wanted to write about a few of them.
A few days post celebrating the birth of our savior, I find myself seeing that the life that He lived was perfect which is something to marvel at for sure. But more importantly the death He endured and resurrection that He experienced mark my life and my soul, and yet Ms. Carmichael's writing is still challenging. When she says "If I covet any place on earth but the dust at the foot of the Cross, then I know nothing of Calvary love."- How many times do I covet so many other places. While all her statements are challenging this one rocks me the most. How much do I crave the kisses from my puppy, or wait in anticipation for my husband to return home thinking that all is not right with the world until we are snuggled on the couch? And yet, complacency takes this feeling from me to crave my savior. When I started this blog I was praying for God's presence to appear in my life in a way that it never had. More than a year has passed and I will tell you God has a stronger presence in my life now than He ever did, but yet though I am closer than I ever have been the urgency is still something I chase.
And yet the stories that muddle the news about Russians banning American adoptions, and Fiscal cliffs and people unwilling to compromise and I find myself asking God to make himself known to our world, and it's almost as though He says " I told you to make me known." I'm there I am taken back and knowing that the only place I need to be is at the foot of the cross, and yet He said "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations"- Matthew 28:19 and yet here I am with my puppy curled up next to me alone in my apartment making a disciple out of no one. And when I ask myself what gifts has God given me, how I can share Him, I'm reminded of this blog, and that when I view the statistics of it that people all over the world have viewed it. People in countries I have been never been to have read my writing, and I wonder... could I make disciples through a blog?
I don't know.
But it's worth a try.
My word for 2012 was discipleship and I saw God use me to do that so much in this year. To lead a bible study, to start a woman's ministry, to encourage friends, to love strangers, and to bring people closer to Him. So now the question is, what does He have for me in 2013. Better yet, what does He have left of me to do in 2012.
Friends I am praying for you, and if there is anything I can be in prayer about please share that with me. My hope and prayer is to write to you more so that I can share more about His love. Tomorrow isn't promised. let's do what we can to make disciples in these last few days and let's remember that despite the news, God will never leave or forsake us. Let's covet the foot of the cross together so that we can really see what Calvary Love can change.
<3
I wanted to write to you today about a text that has been challenge my heart. It's by Amy Carmichael and is called "Calvary love." which can be found here: http://holytrinitynewrochelle.org/yourti96592.html
If you go and read it you will see some piercing thoughts but I wanted to write about a few of them.
A few days post celebrating the birth of our savior, I find myself seeing that the life that He lived was perfect which is something to marvel at for sure. But more importantly the death He endured and resurrection that He experienced mark my life and my soul, and yet Ms. Carmichael's writing is still challenging. When she says "If I covet any place on earth but the dust at the foot of the Cross, then I know nothing of Calvary love."- How many times do I covet so many other places. While all her statements are challenging this one rocks me the most. How much do I crave the kisses from my puppy, or wait in anticipation for my husband to return home thinking that all is not right with the world until we are snuggled on the couch? And yet, complacency takes this feeling from me to crave my savior. When I started this blog I was praying for God's presence to appear in my life in a way that it never had. More than a year has passed and I will tell you God has a stronger presence in my life now than He ever did, but yet though I am closer than I ever have been the urgency is still something I chase.
And yet the stories that muddle the news about Russians banning American adoptions, and Fiscal cliffs and people unwilling to compromise and I find myself asking God to make himself known to our world, and it's almost as though He says " I told you to make me known." I'm there I am taken back and knowing that the only place I need to be is at the foot of the cross, and yet He said "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations"- Matthew 28:19 and yet here I am with my puppy curled up next to me alone in my apartment making a disciple out of no one. And when I ask myself what gifts has God given me, how I can share Him, I'm reminded of this blog, and that when I view the statistics of it that people all over the world have viewed it. People in countries I have been never been to have read my writing, and I wonder... could I make disciples through a blog?
I don't know.
But it's worth a try.
My word for 2012 was discipleship and I saw God use me to do that so much in this year. To lead a bible study, to start a woman's ministry, to encourage friends, to love strangers, and to bring people closer to Him. So now the question is, what does He have for me in 2013. Better yet, what does He have left of me to do in 2012.
Friends I am praying for you, and if there is anything I can be in prayer about please share that with me. My hope and prayer is to write to you more so that I can share more about His love. Tomorrow isn't promised. let's do what we can to make disciples in these last few days and let's remember that despite the news, God will never leave or forsake us. Let's covet the foot of the cross together so that we can really see what Calvary Love can change.
<3
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Processing a Tragedy
Hello Friends.
I am writing you today about a tragedy I am sure you have heard about: the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary school. It's an event that is almost incomprehensible. I try and wrap my mind around what it felt like for the students and teachers to be in that school, and the reality of what happened. I try and understand the evil that was displayed, but it is difficult. To say that 20 children died, seems unreal, and yet I know the reality is shaking the Newtown, CT today as they mourn the loss of the students and teachers who died. It's a mourning that I feel, yet I never met a single person involved.
The most common questions I've seen, read, and heard is "What is our country coming to?" or "How could someone kill babies?" They are questions I've asked myself, but in differing circumstances. I've wondered how we can allow the death of the unborn in our country. I've wondered how we can allow little boys and girls to grow up in broken homes, and not do anything about it. I've wondered how my generation can be one that so much sides with the idea of "change" and yet the changes that are happening in the world leave much to be desired. And yet, people ask "Why would God allow this to happen?" and miss that our country has taken a step away from God. As a whole, our Nation has rejected God and yet they want His help in times of trouble. Friends, God will draw near to you if you draw near to Him.
22 "How long will you simple ones love your simple ways? How long will mockers delight in mockery and fools hate knowledge? 23 If you had responded to my rebuke, I would have poured out my heart to you and made my thoughts known to you. 24 But since you rejected me when I called and no one gave heed when I stretched out my hand, 25 since you ignored all my advice and would not accept my rebuke, 26 I in turn will laugh at your disaster; I will mock when calamity overtakes you-- 27 when calamity overtakes you like a storm, when disaster sweeps over you like a whirlwind, when distress and trouble overwhelm you. 28 "Then they will call to me but I will not answer; they will look for me but will not find me. 29 Since they hated knowledge and did not choose to fear the LORD, 30 since they would not accept my advice and spurned my rebuke, 31they will eat the fruit of their ways and be filled with the fruit of their schemes. 32 For the waywardness of the simple will kill them, and the complacency of fools will destroy them; 33 but whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm."
Note I am not saying that the people who died were killed because they didn't know God. I do not believe that at all so please please please know that is not what I am saying. What I am saying is that we reap what we sow. In verse 31 it says that they will eat from the fruit of their ways. We will eat and are eating from the fruit of our ways. As we walk away from the values and standards of God, evil will have more prevalence in our world. We can't reject God, and expect that there will be no consequences to that. Does God do evil? NO. He is perfect and Holy. But He does allow evil as He allows us to have free will and to accept or reject His truth. He could have made us puppets, but He didn't. He gave us a choice and with each choice comes consequences and the consequences of not choosing God is sin and sin ultimately leads to death. The sin of Adam Lanza led to horrible death that is absolutely horrendous. It is by the grace of God that we can have any good in us, and I pray for Adam's family that they would come to know God in this tragedy as I am sure they are just as shocked and confused as we are all as to why this happened. But Christ died for the sin of the world and whoever believes in Him has eternal life, and is reconciled to a relationship with God. There is a culture that has taken over our country and our world that has walked away from God and my heart and my plea is that they will know the Prince of Peace.
The reality is we need God. If Adam had known God, this wouldn't have happened.
This morning as I sat in church and the pastor spoke on our need for God, and the tragic events in our nation, my husband wrote this to me:
"Jesus came to take the old and make it NEW. NEWtown. Sin came into the world through Adam... ADAM Lanza"
He was making a connection from the events that is a story that has repeated itself through history. The death and destruction that come from sin has one cure: Jesus. While this killers name was Adam, it was Adam in the garden that killed our innocence, but Jesus came to be our 2nd Adam and bring us hope. “The first man Adam became a living being; the last Adam, a life-giving spirit. The spiritual did not come first, but the natural, and after that the spiritual. The first man was of the dust of the earth, the second man from heaven. As was the earthly man, so are those who are of the earth; and as is the man from heaven, so also are those who are of heaven. And just as we have borne the likeness of the earthly man, so shall we bear the likeness of the man from heaven” (1 Corinthians 15:45-49). The first Adam brought us into Sin. The second Adam (Jesus) saved us from sin. Yet the Adam I've been hearing about on the news is one that stole, killed, and destroyed a town of their joy. I find this no coincidence as the bible says that Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy. So what do we make of all this?
Our world is broken and we need the love of God.
I read a speech by a father from one of the victims of the Columbine shooting this morning that I think puts it beautifully. Guess our national leaders didn’t expect this.
I read a speech by a father from one of the victims of the Columbine shooting this morning that I think puts it beautifully. Guess our national leaders didn’t expect this.
On Thursday, Darrell Scott, the father of Rachel Scott, a victim of the Columbine High School shootings in Littleton, Colorado, was invited to address the House Judiciary Committee’s subcommittee. What he said to our national leaders during this special session of Congress was painfully truthful.
They were not prepared for what he was to say, nor was it received well. It needs to be heard by every parent, every teacher, every politician, every sociologist, every psychologist, and every so-called expert! These courageous words spoken by Darrell Scott are powerful, penetrating, and deeply personal. There is no doubt that God sent this man as a voice crying in the wilderness.. The following is a portion of the transcript:
“Since the dawn of creation there has been both good & evil in the hearts of men and women. We all contain the seeds of kindness or the seeds of violence. The death of my wonderful daughter, Rachel Joy Scott, and the deaths of that heroic teacher, and the other eleven children who died must not be in vain. Their blood cries out for answers.
“The first recorded act of violence was when Cain slew his brother Abel out in the field. The villain was not the club he used.. Neither was it the NCA, the National Club Association. The true killer was Cain, and the reason for the murder could only be found in Cain’s heart.
“In the days that followed the Columbine tragedy, I was amazed at how quickly fingers began to be pointed at groups such as the NRA. I am not a member of the NRA. I am not a hunter. I do not even own a gun. I am not here to represent or defend the NRA - because I don’t believe that they are responsible for my daughter’s death. Therefore I do not believe that they need to be defended. If I believed they had anything to do with Rachel’s murder I would be their strongest opponent
I am here today to declare that Columbine was not just a tragedy — it was a spiritual event that should be forcing us to look at where the real blame lies! Much of the blame lies here in this room. Much of the blame lies behind the pointing fingers of the accusers themselves. I wrote a poem just four nights ago that expresses my feelings best.
Your laws ignore our deepest needs, Your words are empty air. You’ve stripped away our heritage, You’ve outlawed simple prayer. Now gunshots fill our classrooms, And precious children die. You seek for answers everywhere, And ask the question “Why?” You regulate restrictive laws, Through legislative creed. And yet you fail to understand, That God is what we need!
“Men and women are three-part beings. We all consist of body, mind, and spirit. When we refuse to acknowledge a third part of our make-up, we create a void that allows evil, prejudice, and hatred to rush in and wreak havoc. Spiritual presences were present within our educational systems for most of our nation’s history. Many of our major colleges began as theological seminaries. This is a historical fact. What has happened to us as a nation? We have refused to honor God, and in so doing, we open the doors to hatred and violence. And when something as terrible as Columbine’s tragedy occurs —politicians immediately look for a scapegoat such as the NRA. They immediately seek to pass more restrictive laws that contribute to erode away our personal and private liberties. We do not need more restrictive laws. Eric and Dylan would not have been stopped by metal detectors. No amount of gun laws can stop someone who spends months planning this type of massacre. The real villain lies within our own hearts.
“As my son Craig lay under that table in the school library and saw his two friends murdered before his very eyes, he did not hesitate to pray in school. I defy any law or politician to deny him that right! I challenge every young person in America , and around the world, to realize that on April 20, 1999, at Columbine High School prayer was brought back to our schools. Do not let the many prayers offered by those students be in vain. Dare to move into the new millennium with a sacred disregard for legislation that violates your God-given right to communicate with Him. To those of you who would point your finger at the NRA — I give to you a sincere challenge.. Dare to examine your own heart before casting the first stone! My daughter’s death will not be in vain! The young people of this country will not allow that to happen!” - Darrell Scott
Friends. We need God. Our Nation needs God, and in this time of tragedy the only hope in the midst of the incomprehensible Evil is Jesus Christ. I pray that the church would stand up in this time and offer assistance to those grieved, answer questions to those lost, and be the love and light that Christ asked us to be.
Revelation 21:4 says "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
I'm excited for that day. The day when there is no more mourning, and no more crying. no more death and no more pain. Until then We have to trust that God works all things together of the good of those who love Him. The key there is that we must LOVE Him. Friends I pray that if you don't know Him that you will ask questions and at least learn about Him. The message of my God is one of hope not of condemnation and I pray that you will know that message if you don't already.
Nothing can undo the tragedy that has occurred, we can only move forward and allow God to be apart of our lives, and our nation, so that we might see the peace that comes from the Lord.
Friends just remember John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”"
They were not prepared for what he was to say, nor was it received well. It needs to be heard by every parent, every teacher, every politician, every sociologist, every psychologist, and every so-called expert! These courageous words spoken by Darrell Scott are powerful, penetrating, and deeply personal. There is no doubt that God sent this man as a voice crying in the wilderness.. The following is a portion of the transcript:
“Since the dawn of creation there has been both good & evil in the hearts of men and women. We all contain the seeds of kindness or the seeds of violence. The death of my wonderful daughter, Rachel Joy Scott, and the deaths of that heroic teacher, and the other eleven children who died must not be in vain. Their blood cries out for answers.
“The first recorded act of violence was when Cain slew his brother Abel out in the field. The villain was not the club he used.. Neither was it the NCA, the National Club Association. The true killer was Cain, and the reason for the murder could only be found in Cain’s heart.
“In the days that followed the Columbine tragedy, I was amazed at how quickly fingers began to be pointed at groups such as the NRA. I am not a member of the NRA. I am not a hunter. I do not even own a gun. I am not here to represent or defend the NRA - because I don’t believe that they are responsible for my daughter’s death. Therefore I do not believe that they need to be defended. If I believed they had anything to do with Rachel’s murder I would be their strongest opponent
I am here today to declare that Columbine was not just a tragedy — it was a spiritual event that should be forcing us to look at where the real blame lies! Much of the blame lies here in this room. Much of the blame lies behind the pointing fingers of the accusers themselves. I wrote a poem just four nights ago that expresses my feelings best.
Your laws ignore our deepest needs, Your words are empty air. You’ve stripped away our heritage, You’ve outlawed simple prayer. Now gunshots fill our classrooms, And precious children die. You seek for answers everywhere, And ask the question “Why?” You regulate restrictive laws, Through legislative creed. And yet you fail to understand, That God is what we need!
“Men and women are three-part beings. We all consist of body, mind, and spirit. When we refuse to acknowledge a third part of our make-up, we create a void that allows evil, prejudice, and hatred to rush in and wreak havoc. Spiritual presences were present within our educational systems for most of our nation’s history. Many of our major colleges began as theological seminaries. This is a historical fact. What has happened to us as a nation? We have refused to honor God, and in so doing, we open the doors to hatred and violence. And when something as terrible as Columbine’s tragedy occurs —politicians immediately look for a scapegoat such as the NRA. They immediately seek to pass more restrictive laws that contribute to erode away our personal and private liberties. We do not need more restrictive laws. Eric and Dylan would not have been stopped by metal detectors. No amount of gun laws can stop someone who spends months planning this type of massacre. The real villain lies within our own hearts.
“As my son Craig lay under that table in the school library and saw his two friends murdered before his very eyes, he did not hesitate to pray in school. I defy any law or politician to deny him that right! I challenge every young person in America , and around the world, to realize that on April 20, 1999, at Columbine High School prayer was brought back to our schools. Do not let the many prayers offered by those students be in vain. Dare to move into the new millennium with a sacred disregard for legislation that violates your God-given right to communicate with Him. To those of you who would point your finger at the NRA — I give to you a sincere challenge.. Dare to examine your own heart before casting the first stone! My daughter’s death will not be in vain! The young people of this country will not allow that to happen!” - Darrell Scott
Friends. We need God. Our Nation needs God, and in this time of tragedy the only hope in the midst of the incomprehensible Evil is Jesus Christ. I pray that the church would stand up in this time and offer assistance to those grieved, answer questions to those lost, and be the love and light that Christ asked us to be.
Revelation 21:4 says "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
I'm excited for that day. The day when there is no more mourning, and no more crying. no more death and no more pain. Until then We have to trust that God works all things together of the good of those who love Him. The key there is that we must LOVE Him. Friends I pray that if you don't know Him that you will ask questions and at least learn about Him. The message of my God is one of hope not of condemnation and I pray that you will know that message if you don't already.
Nothing can undo the tragedy that has occurred, we can only move forward and allow God to be apart of our lives, and our nation, so that we might see the peace that comes from the Lord.
I this song puts it beautifully.
Friends. I'm praying for you. Remember that your God will never forsake you. I'm praying for the families and those affected by this tragedy that the Spirit will comfort and give peace to you. I pray that you will know that God is only good, and He will never leave or forsake you. My heart is broken and sick for what happened. I don't want this to ever happen again and I am praying that God will protect our country and that our country will turn back to Him. The problem is Sin, the Solution is Christ. Fellow Christians lets show people the hope we have. Let's be the church in this tragedy and love and support those in need, and not join in the arguments and fights. Let's simply be light to the world.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Hearing aids part 2
So the appointment was about an hour. She put one in my ear and began to talk to me. Before she put it in the room was very quiet. But after I heard a fan, and a conversation in the hallway. It shook me a little to think that the world could change so much in a moment. But the cost of this change is a lot and isn't inline with where I believe God is leading my husband and I right now. I have some reasons for this.
1- I've been compensating my whole life and done just fine with it. I miss some things but I can hold a conversation. Hearing aids can make me lose that ability.
2- they are very very costly and God has already given us costly dreams. He has put a specific mission field on our heart that I want to be obedient to. While there are some programs that help with cost for my type of hearing loss they are very very limited.
3- even though they would help with my frustration maybe I just need to learn patience.
4- I don't have a job meaning my income is all loans. If I had one I'd feel better about getting them.
5- hearing loss isn't deadly.
6-my medical problems already cost is quite a bit
7- I don't like spending money on myself
Now some of these ill give u are duly reasons and I'm not saying never to improving my hearing but I am saying not right now when God has given us a big vision to focus on at the moment. My husband would totally support me getting them, he is wonderful, but at this time I don't feel good about it.
Ill keep you posted if I decide to get them in the future. I am going to get a second opinion tomorrow just to be sure I'm Making the right choice.
1- I've been compensating my whole life and done just fine with it. I miss some things but I can hold a conversation. Hearing aids can make me lose that ability.
2- they are very very costly and God has already given us costly dreams. He has put a specific mission field on our heart that I want to be obedient to. While there are some programs that help with cost for my type of hearing loss they are very very limited.
3- even though they would help with my frustration maybe I just need to learn patience.
4- I don't have a job meaning my income is all loans. If I had one I'd feel better about getting them.
5- hearing loss isn't deadly.
6-my medical problems already cost is quite a bit
7- I don't like spending money on myself
Now some of these ill give u are duly reasons and I'm not saying never to improving my hearing but I am saying not right now when God has given us a big vision to focus on at the moment. My husband would totally support me getting them, he is wonderful, but at this time I don't feel good about it.
Ill keep you posted if I decide to get them in the future. I am going to get a second opinion tomorrow just to be sure I'm Making the right choice.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Hearing aid experience part 1
I'm sitting in the waiting room with a room full of people who are here for Botox injections as my doctor shares a waiting room with a plastic surgeon. I'm waiting for my first appointment where we will discuss a hearing aid. I don't want one, but what I want and what I need might be different. I'm praying that it goes smoothly, isn't too costly, and isn't super uncomfortable. I'm nervous, but I know that God is even here.
I am blessed in that I'm 23 and this is my first hearing aid. The reality is I haven't had one due to not having health insurance as a kid. I failed a hearing test in 5th grade but it was never followed. It wasn't due to lack of concern, but in reality I have learned hearing is a privilege. It's something you can live without but definitely affects your quality of life. Since its not essential to life, it got put off. In my experience I think it slowly declined from bad to worse, but there is no where to know. What I do know is where I am at now. Waiting. Anticipating. And very unsure as to what will occur next except that they will call my name and someone will direct me from there.
I wonder on how much sound I miss out on. I wonder what I don't hear that I should. I imagine the world will be different with a hearing aid, but maye what I missed is what people mutter under their breathe which maybe it's better I didn't hear. I have missed directions, people calling my name, and music playing in businesses .
But now the world will change, potentially for the better. So if you found this because u are looking for advice or information on someone's earring aid experience i will keep you updated on how this goes. And if you read this because you read my blog , then please be praying for me.
I am blessed in that I'm 23 and this is my first hearing aid. The reality is I haven't had one due to not having health insurance as a kid. I failed a hearing test in 5th grade but it was never followed. It wasn't due to lack of concern, but in reality I have learned hearing is a privilege. It's something you can live without but definitely affects your quality of life. Since its not essential to life, it got put off. In my experience I think it slowly declined from bad to worse, but there is no where to know. What I do know is where I am at now. Waiting. Anticipating. And very unsure as to what will occur next except that they will call my name and someone will direct me from there.
I wonder on how much sound I miss out on. I wonder what I don't hear that I should. I imagine the world will be different with a hearing aid, but maye what I missed is what people mutter under their breathe which maybe it's better I didn't hear. I have missed directions, people calling my name, and music playing in businesses .
But now the world will change, potentially for the better. So if you found this because u are looking for advice or information on someone's earring aid experience i will keep you updated on how this goes. And if you read this because you read my blog , then please be praying for me.
Monday Mornings
Ever have a morning that goes far from planned? And in that morning, you forget the great things God did the day before.
Yesterday God blessed me with motivation. I accomplished a lot that I needed to do, sold some books on half.com for some extra income and had a great dinner with my husband and a friend.
But this morning I knew I should have started in the word and instead I got dressed, ate breakfast, lost my patience , love tapped someone's car, and got so wrapped up in the frustration of the morning that I didn't think of the goodness of God. As I was failing Him, acting my shoe size and not my age, He protected me. He protect my car, and another from even a scratch as the metal parts touched. He put His hand over me, when I far from deserved it. The thing is, I never deserve it, but today I was very awake of my undeserving selfish attitude and there He was, protecting me.
"Teach me to do your will,for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground! (Psalm 143:10 ESV)" It is only with God I am on solid ground. And in an instance, I get perspective. I see how ungrateful I was all morning and how God rescued me anyway. You see friends God is continually saving us. Sometimes He allows pain and trial but there is so much He protects us from that we don't see because He covers us. This morning He showed me that He is looking out for me. This morning He let me see something He saved me from. See if our cars hasn't touched I would have not thanked Him from saving me and protecting me but what He showed me is that even if they don't touch it was because He protected me.
And isn't that terrible? That we only thank God when we can see He is working? Hebrews 11:1 says " Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1 ESV)" This morning God showed me how little faith I have. He showed me I expect to see it, when He has called me to believe the unseen, to walk by faith and not by sight. Yet, it's the moment this morning as I am worried that there might be damage to my car, that I got to see His faithfulness demonstrated.
God, forgive me for my shortcomings, for the times I don't trust in the unseen. Forgive me for my lack of faith, when you have shown me nothing but faithfulness. Give me eyes to see your work In the unseen moments of today. Keep your hand protecting me and show me how to honor you today. Forgive me for ignoring your spirit telling me to start in the word this morning. Forgive me for ignoring your reminders. Forgive me for my impatience and selfishness. Thank you for loving me and protecting me because I do not deserve it. Thank you for the grace you show me. Amen.
So this morning didn't go as planned. God showed up, and made all the difference. Friends how had God made your day different? What did He do that you didn't see or maybe you saw but you didn't appreciate.
Praying for you !
Yesterday God blessed me with motivation. I accomplished a lot that I needed to do, sold some books on half.com for some extra income and had a great dinner with my husband and a friend.
But this morning I knew I should have started in the word and instead I got dressed, ate breakfast, lost my patience , love tapped someone's car, and got so wrapped up in the frustration of the morning that I didn't think of the goodness of God. As I was failing Him, acting my shoe size and not my age, He protected me. He protect my car, and another from even a scratch as the metal parts touched. He put His hand over me, when I far from deserved it. The thing is, I never deserve it, but today I was very awake of my undeserving selfish attitude and there He was, protecting me.
"Teach me to do your will,for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground! (Psalm 143:10 ESV)" It is only with God I am on solid ground. And in an instance, I get perspective. I see how ungrateful I was all morning and how God rescued me anyway. You see friends God is continually saving us. Sometimes He allows pain and trial but there is so much He protects us from that we don't see because He covers us. This morning He showed me that He is looking out for me. This morning He let me see something He saved me from. See if our cars hasn't touched I would have not thanked Him from saving me and protecting me but what He showed me is that even if they don't touch it was because He protected me.
And isn't that terrible? That we only thank God when we can see He is working? Hebrews 11:1 says " Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1 ESV)" This morning God showed me how little faith I have. He showed me I expect to see it, when He has called me to believe the unseen, to walk by faith and not by sight. Yet, it's the moment this morning as I am worried that there might be damage to my car, that I got to see His faithfulness demonstrated.
God, forgive me for my shortcomings, for the times I don't trust in the unseen. Forgive me for my lack of faith, when you have shown me nothing but faithfulness. Give me eyes to see your work In the unseen moments of today. Keep your hand protecting me and show me how to honor you today. Forgive me for ignoring your spirit telling me to start in the word this morning. Forgive me for ignoring your reminders. Forgive me for my impatience and selfishness. Thank you for loving me and protecting me because I do not deserve it. Thank you for the grace you show me. Amen.
So this morning didn't go as planned. God showed up, and made all the difference. Friends how had God made your day different? What did He do that you didn't see or maybe you saw but you didn't appreciate.
Praying for you !
Thursday, December 6, 2012
John 17
I came across this verse this morning "And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. (John 17:3 ESV)" our eternal life begins with the acceptance of Jesus Christ. Our best rewards are in heaven but we can not say we believe in Jesus just to get out of hell. We actually can be close to him and know Him on earth. For the impatient person I am this is Good News for sure!
Jesus goes on to say I am praying for them. I am not praying for the world but for those whom you have given me, for they are yours. (John 17:9 ESV) what an amazing promise the Christ is praying for his believers ? He is all knowing and what a blessing to have someone who knows everything about me praying for me.
Jesus goes on to speak of His love for us and that we are one with Eachother just as Christ is one with God. I have learned a little but more what that looks like being married but my husband and I are two sinners so while a picture it's still not the fullness of their relationship. "I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me. (John 17:23 ESV)" Christ tells me that they only way my husband and I can be more " one" is by having Christ in us and us being in Christ. Makes me think. I know Christ is always in me, but how many moments am I not acting like I am in Christ. He says though we are sanctified by truth "Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. (John 17:17 ESV)"
Then He says "I made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them." (John 17:26 ESV)"
It all comes back to love. Gods love. That's what saves us that's what inspires us that's what changes us. His love is what makes us one, it's what covers my sins and fears, it's perfect love that casts out fear.
So what I see today friends is we need to focus on his word to learn about his love and as we simply seek Him that is what makes the light in us. When we know His love we can reflect it. So friends don't focus on the spiritual discipline this week, just study His love His presence and you will taste and see that The Lord is good.
Praying for you friends
Xox
Jesus goes on to say I am praying for them. I am not praying for the world but for those whom you have given me, for they are yours. (John 17:9 ESV) what an amazing promise the Christ is praying for his believers ? He is all knowing and what a blessing to have someone who knows everything about me praying for me.
Jesus goes on to speak of His love for us and that we are one with Eachother just as Christ is one with God. I have learned a little but more what that looks like being married but my husband and I are two sinners so while a picture it's still not the fullness of their relationship. "I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me. (John 17:23 ESV)" Christ tells me that they only way my husband and I can be more " one" is by having Christ in us and us being in Christ. Makes me think. I know Christ is always in me, but how many moments am I not acting like I am in Christ. He says though we are sanctified by truth "Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. (John 17:17 ESV)"
Then He says "I made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them." (John 17:26 ESV)"
It all comes back to love. Gods love. That's what saves us that's what inspires us that's what changes us. His love is what makes us one, it's what covers my sins and fears, it's perfect love that casts out fear.
So what I see today friends is we need to focus on his word to learn about his love and as we simply seek Him that is what makes the light in us. When we know His love we can reflect it. So friends don't focus on the spiritual discipline this week, just study His love His presence and you will taste and see that The Lord is good.
Praying for you friends
Xox
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Update and Amy Carmichael
Hello friends,
Sorry it's been a bit. I have been doing a lot. Between my rotations (now in general pediatrics) and doctors appointments, and time with the husband I find that I haven't made the time to write. Note I said I didn't have the time, because everyone has time we just decide what we spend it on. This morning I feel compelled to write. God woke me up this morning with an amazing challenge: do you really understand calvary love? do you really know what I did for you.
It all sparked when a good friend of mine who had been in bible studies with me, who had read the bible with me, had gone to church with me texted me and said " i don't think I understand salvation." I was dumbfounded. What do I say? Two days later God gave me something to say but I still had that question ringing inside of me. Not because i'm not sure of my own salvation, but how do you put into words the most fantastic thing that ever happened to you? How do you show someone God? And if you understand God, it changes you. There is no way to come in contact with perfect love and it NOT change you. (note I didn't say that it changes you toward God, for someone people it doesn't but it does change them in one way or another).
And it's in these questions I find that love, like thanks, like prayer, are actions. A christian life is one of action. Sometimes that action is actively humbling ourselves, actively resting in Him. But many times God is calling us toward His will and purpose. And what do we do? ... more... what do I do? question. But this thought rocked me today:
"It seems to me that all He asks is that we should take the one step He shows us, and in simplest, most practical trust leave all results to Him".- Amy Carmichael
I feel like that with some of my changes lately. Getting married, changing rotations, changing churches, having lots of tests to see what is wrong with my body. Change is constant and yet it's not. My grandma used to quote Ecclesiates 1:9 to me "there is nothing new under the sun" Nothing is new to God. My complacency, failures, doubts aren't new to God, and the ways I grew are revolutionary from the way great christians before me grew. But yet He still patiently cares for me. He loves me.
and it's His love, thats what makes the difference. That is what changes a man dying on the cross to being a miracle. It's his love and grace that changes the unforgivable to the forgivable. It's His love that softens my heart, that leads me to be thankful, that breaks down my walls, and kindles the fire of the Holy Spirit that God has put deep within me. It's His love that is the perfect love and it's that perfect love that casts out fear. So when I read Mrs. Carmichael's thoughts I see that while in the letter she wrote this she spoke of fears, it was the love inside of her that knew that we needed to just trust God.
So thats what I'm doing. Trusting Him with the test results, trusting him with today tomorrow next week next year next century. Trusting that He has a plan. Trusting that while I can't see it all he asks is that I take the step he shows and leave all results to Him. and I'm praying that He will renew this thought in my mind that I really will be able to each moment take that step and trust. For me I have to work at this constantly. To walk by faith is so hard at times, but God shows me day by day that He really does work all things to the good of those who love Him. ... and there we are. Back to love.
Friends, I am praying for you. That you will trust God will the steps that you don't know where they will lead, and that you will come in contact with God's perfect love.
Sorry it's been a bit. I have been doing a lot. Between my rotations (now in general pediatrics) and doctors appointments, and time with the husband I find that I haven't made the time to write. Note I said I didn't have the time, because everyone has time we just decide what we spend it on. This morning I feel compelled to write. God woke me up this morning with an amazing challenge: do you really understand calvary love? do you really know what I did for you.
It all sparked when a good friend of mine who had been in bible studies with me, who had read the bible with me, had gone to church with me texted me and said " i don't think I understand salvation." I was dumbfounded. What do I say? Two days later God gave me something to say but I still had that question ringing inside of me. Not because i'm not sure of my own salvation, but how do you put into words the most fantastic thing that ever happened to you? How do you show someone God? And if you understand God, it changes you. There is no way to come in contact with perfect love and it NOT change you. (note I didn't say that it changes you toward God, for someone people it doesn't but it does change them in one way or another).
And it's in these questions I find that love, like thanks, like prayer, are actions. A christian life is one of action. Sometimes that action is actively humbling ourselves, actively resting in Him. But many times God is calling us toward His will and purpose. And what do we do? ... more... what do I do? question. But this thought rocked me today:
"It seems to me that all He asks is that we should take the one step He shows us, and in simplest, most practical trust leave all results to Him".- Amy Carmichael
I feel like that with some of my changes lately. Getting married, changing rotations, changing churches, having lots of tests to see what is wrong with my body. Change is constant and yet it's not. My grandma used to quote Ecclesiates 1:9 to me "there is nothing new under the sun" Nothing is new to God. My complacency, failures, doubts aren't new to God, and the ways I grew are revolutionary from the way great christians before me grew. But yet He still patiently cares for me. He loves me.
and it's His love, thats what makes the difference. That is what changes a man dying on the cross to being a miracle. It's his love and grace that changes the unforgivable to the forgivable. It's His love that softens my heart, that leads me to be thankful, that breaks down my walls, and kindles the fire of the Holy Spirit that God has put deep within me. It's His love that is the perfect love and it's that perfect love that casts out fear. So when I read Mrs. Carmichael's thoughts I see that while in the letter she wrote this she spoke of fears, it was the love inside of her that knew that we needed to just trust God.
So thats what I'm doing. Trusting Him with the test results, trusting him with today tomorrow next week next year next century. Trusting that He has a plan. Trusting that while I can't see it all he asks is that I take the step he shows and leave all results to Him. and I'm praying that He will renew this thought in my mind that I really will be able to each moment take that step and trust. For me I have to work at this constantly. To walk by faith is so hard at times, but God shows me day by day that He really does work all things to the good of those who love Him. ... and there we are. Back to love.
Friends, I am praying for you. That you will trust God will the steps that you don't know where they will lead, and that you will come in contact with God's perfect love.
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