God did not make death

I apologize friends that I did not continue blogging each day of advent. As some of you may know if you follow me on twitter or read my last couple of posts:  my grandmother passed away on December 19th. To say the news saddened me is an understatement. When my mom died back in 2008 I was sad, but my grandmother: my mamaw passing broke my heart. The last time I saw mamaw was August 23rd of this year. I was near where she lived for my graduation from PA school and I was told that her caretakers were out of town and she was staying in the hospice unit of the hospital. As I wrote before: her illness was not physical as much as mental. She had alzheimer's disease that had progressed and she couldn't be left alone. The time was a blessing. I got to talk with her, got to hear her ask me not to "play with her memory" and I even got to comfort her and feed her. I knew it was the last time I was going to see her and she was kind enough to bless me with this picture:

While I will cherish this picture. This is not my mamaw. She looks frail and small in this photo. I look like a giant leaning over her bed. The most recent good picture I have of mamaw is from 2004:

This is how I remember her. She also kept here hair nice, and wore bright color clothing. 

Her hair has been white as long as I have known her. 

Her smile here looks half hearted but I know that it is real from the look in her eyes. 

In the last 10 days those close to me have offered kind words:

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"She's in a better place" 

"let me know if you need anything."

"praying for you."

and the kindness that these words represent has been amazing.

Something we must remember friends is seen in Wisdom 1:13 "Because God did not make death, nor does he rejoice in destruction of the living." It goes on to tell us in verse 16 : "It was the wicked who with hands and words invited death, considered it a friend, and pined for it, and made a covenant with it..." Friends: God creates life not death. So why is there death? Death is a consequence of sin. Not one persons sin in particular but rather is a consequence of sin. Again wisdom teaches us about this 

wisdom 2:23-24 "For God formed man to be imperishable; the image of his own nature he made him. But by the envy of the devil death entered the world, and they who are in his possession experience it. "

The apostle Paul writes of this in Romans 5:12-14 "Therefore, just as through one person sin entered the world and through sin, death and thus death came to all inasmuch as all sinned- for up to the time of the law sin was in the world though sin is not accounted when there is no law. But death reigned from Adam to Moses even over those who did not sin after the pattern of the trespass of Adam who is the type of the one who is to come." 

So how terrible: because of Adam and Eve and their sin death entered the world and satan is over death. However we know Christ has conquered satan, sin and death! What a wonderful blessing!! However we live in a world that believes "death is the norm." "its natural" It's not. It's a product of sin and and only Christ has overcome death with His resurrection.

So as christians what is our response to death then? 

prayer. I pray for mamaw that God would have grace on her and grant her eternal life with Him. I know that this is His choice, and He is perfectly just so whatever He chooses is right. I'd encourage you friends when you have lost someone to pray that God would have mercy on them for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. 

friends I ask you to please pray for my grandmother that God would accept her into eternity. Pray for those she left behind that they would be faithful to God in the lives that they would run the race well and live lives that glorify the one true God. Friends I pray that for you that you would live a life worthy of your calling and that God would one day welcome you into eternity. 

<3

God is the only certainty.

Yesterday my grandmother died. No one thought to call me and tell me but I called to find out how she was and was told "she died at 313" friends at first these words didn't sink in and as they did I could do nothing but cry. I spent my drive home asking God why death doesn't make sense.. Why can't we hug God.. Why does He allow death to still feel like a sting when Christ conquered death, 

And as I talked with God and drove home eyes filled with tears a real ness was there. I kept praying for comfort and to get home safe. I wish I could tell you her death was a joyous announcement to me with the hope she would be in heaven but rather it was an announcement of sadness over what I lost. It has been a while since she was mentally coherent but somehow even in all she lost she still had so much to give. She had a bible that was falling apart and she could play the piano by ear without music copying the song on the radio. 

I remember this rocking chair she had which I wish so much I could have. She would sit me on her lap no matter how much bigger than her I got and sand this old song "my baby just cares for me". It's memories of Klondike sandwiches and BBQ at the park and using the corded phone in the kitchen way after wireless were popular. These things have flooded my mind and sent waves of joy and sadness. 

I worked today which kept my mind busy but was difficult. I'm one to run and not think, one to busy myself until the time passes. But God knew what I needed. He blessed my day even with its challenges. He gave me strength. He timed one of my closest friends coming home this weekend and had a trip planned for that to busy my weekend. But then. Then he gave me a boss who gave me no option but to take bereavement time. No option but to think and process. My mind has swirled with ways I can fill that time but I'm certain those last two days of advent are to be still. To let Him teach me and grow me. To spend time in the word to shut out the world and to listen. 

Friends in these remaining days of advent take time to be still. Take time to prepare your heart for the joy of the kings birth. 

If I know anything it's that life is full of uncertain twists and turns and God is the only certainty. In this season spend time in that certainty. 

Praying for you friends as I know many of you have lost loved ones. God is the only certainty, trust Him in this time. 

Brought closer to God by the help of a sweet woman

Yesterday I got a text message that broke my spirit:

Mamaw has 48 hours to live please be praying for a peaceful transition xo.

Mamaw is my 98 year old great grandmother by marriage who took care of me from 3rd grade to 6th grade.  She is the women who knew things with my mom were not good and when I came to visit my grandparents she stepped up and said "Let me keep her." She is the woman who in 1st grade picked my up every sunday to take me to church and after we always had either Publix fried chicken or a whopper. A sunday treat. She taught me to make pecan pralines, she gave me my first driving lesson and she taught me to respect my elders. She loved me the best way she knew how but that was a challenge for her as time went on. She was developing alzheimers and no one knew.

I'll never forget the day in 4th grade where she didn't know me. She didn't know anyone. She didn't know what she was doing. Doctors called it transient amnesia with no known cause. I knew that day I was living with her not just to help me but to help her.

I remember the day when I became too much for her to take care of  but never too much for her to love.

I remember when she got mean because of her alzheimers and it became hard to separate the two.
I remember stumbling across the streaks of meanness that seemed blurred into her personality and I didn't know where these bumps began and where they ended.
I remember her helping me when I needed to buy a car.
I remember no matter how many times I had to explain who I was to her over the years as soon as she remembered and realized she would say "Anita- she loves the Lord."

memories.

now her memory has been really bad in the last few years. And I have moved away but while i know she won't remember my visit, i've still visited. This time though she is medicated for comfort. This time she wouldn't be conscious. So i don't go to say goodbye to the sleeping beauty.

Because of her I know God more. Because of her I love my bible. 

Friends who inspired you? Who brought you closer to God? 

In this season of advent thank them if you can and if you can't pray for their soul. 

Anita 

His Concern for me brings me to worship

Friends in this advent season I am learning so much about the need for God. This is something I know in my mind but something that has regrown in my heart in this season.  And this need for Him has overflowed in this season not only because I am focusing more on Christ in this season, but also because in seasons of difficulty you are aware more and more of your inadequacy and need for help.

-My job while I love it at times is very challenging. Every day is a learning experience and every day I need Christ to help me through. My patients can be a challenge.
-Being a wife is a job and I am always learning new things about my husband, new things about my role as his wife and new ways I need to grow. It's a blessing but it takes work and in that work I need Christ to help me be patient and kind and respectful and loving and submissive.
- Finances have been a challenge for us in that I have quite a bit of student loan debt. Between that and the bills we need to pay it is a challenge and I pray each day God will provide for us. He hasn't let me down but in this season it's been something on my heart and mind as the first payments of my student loans are due next month. It's a scary reality that we will be living for the next several years and we are praying that God will help us with this.
- I want a baby. Truly there is nothing that sounds better than holding a little one in my arms that God helped my husband and I make. I'm excited to grow our family. But I have to trust God each day in that now is not the best timing for because of the aforementioned jobs, finances, and time I need Christ to comfort me and help me to wait and be patient in this time and to protect my heart for the task of trying to conceive and the trials that can come with that. It's a while off for us, no babies in the near future unless God wills them.
-friendships are a challenge in some ways. both a blessing and a challenge. As God has been growing me and changing me it does affect my relationships and in that it's a challenge. It's also a challenge that we moved about 35 minutes away putting me further away from my close friends and that has been a struggle. A struggle to adjust to the inability to just run down the stairs to see a friend, and a struggle to not be able to meet in the middle as easily. While we do have friends where we are now there is a challenge.

Even in all that I know the Lord knows my troubles. In
Exodus 4:31 "The people believed when they heard that the Lord was concerned about them and had seen their affliction, they bowed down in worship."
Friends the Israelites bowed to the Lord for He knew them and not only did He know them, he was concerned for them. I know God is concerned for me. I know that Christ cries and prays for me in heaven. I know the Holy Spirit translates my tears and I know God has a vat of my tears He is saving. His word tells me these things. I know my name is written on His hand and that He cares for me. I know He will never leave me or forsake me. And that my friends is true for you too. That truth brings me to my knees, and softens my heart. That love brings me to repentance. His kindness blows me away.

Friends let the kindness and the concern of the Lord draw you to bow down in worship. Let knowing that the God of the universe loves you rock your world.

<3

A Season of Mary When The World Is in a season of Martha

Hello friends,
I apologize for my brief absence. I apologize to you, but mostly I repent to God in that I wanted this to help me stay on track to each day be learning new things and I have been learning a lot but haven't been documenting. I've been busy for busy sake. Too busy and that is a call to repentance.

In Luke 10:38-42 we see Mary and Martha. (Note not Mary- mother of God).

38 In the course of their journey he came to a village, and a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house.
39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat down at the Lord's feet and listened to him speaking.
40 Now Martha, who was distracted with all the serving, came to him and said, 'Lord, do you not care that my sister is leaving me to do the serving all by myself? Please tell her to help me.'
41 But the Lord answered, 'Martha, Martha,' he said, 'you worry and fret about so many things,
42 and yet few are needed, indeed only one. It is Mary who has chosen the better part, and it is not to be taken from her.'

Friends how often are we Martha in this story. How often are we too busy to sit at the feet of Jesus? In this story not only do we see a beauty in Martha's willingness to serve but we see a place to call us to repentance when our serving brings us away from God. Here not only is Mary at the feet of Jesus but she being a Palestinian Jew brings a light to this passage that exudes a boldness to sit at the feet of Jesus even when at time when women were not to sit in this way. 

Jesus says only one this is needed and Mary has chosen that. That one thing? time at His feet. 

As Amy Carmichael pens in Calvary Love: "If I covet any place on earth but the dust at the foot of the Cross, then I know nothing of Calvary love."

In the season of parties and shopping and decorating and cooking and tinsel and lights and cards on top of the normal work and struggles of everyday life, it is easy to be Martha in a season where we are called to be Mary. Called to be seeking God in the season of Advent. Called to love Him and be open to Him growing us in new ways. 

"If you withdraw yourself from unnecessary talking and idle running about, from listening to gossip and rumors, you will find enough time that is suitable for holy meditation" - Thomas Akempis- Imitation of Christ. 

So often even without the season I'm a Martha. I'm worried and busy and planning and working and planning some more. But friends what's better in all seasons is to be a Mary. To sit at the feet of Jesus. To be quiet and listen to Him speak. To be open to listen and sit and wait on the Lord. And this truth overtook my heart today in the midst of Christmas shopping and I found myself on a bench in a garden in prayer and reading. And it was such a peaceful and beautiful time. The weather was perfect, and God was there and for some of time I was just silent. Just listening. What a blessing that time was. 

friends I encourage you to spend time with God. Be in the quiet in the still. Be at His feet. Let it prepare you for the celebration on December 25th. Let Him show you WHY He came to the world before you celebrate His coming. 

praying for you friends. 

<3

Emmanuel. God with us.

Barnies white Christmas icecream by publix is quite possibly my favorite frozen confection. I enjoy a bowl far too often but love the sweetness, the coffee flavor, the cold , the chocolate chips. There are some parts I don't like : it's runs out fast... It makes me cough because cold exacerbates my asthma.. I have to brush my teeth after because I hate the sugar feeling.. But it's my favorite.

While seemingly silly I think this is a perfect illustration of how nothing in life is perfect. There are two sides to every coin. Some days at easier to be on the negative side than the positive. There are people I know life this and I'm guilty of it on days too. 

It's makes it hard to picture heaven when you are rationale. The idea of a perfect place with no more tears sounds too good to be true. And yet our very reward of salvation is the gift of eternal life in heaven with God. And honestly I picture being on my face before God for all eternity. I can't imagine or fathom the idea of looking a perfection. Yet in this season of advent we wait and welcome the birth of perfection to walk among us. Emmanuel. God with us. He was here. He was talking and walking and breathing on this earth and he had moments of joy and moments of sorrow. It wasn't rainbows and butterflies all the time sometimes it was sweating blood. 

Friends know that He who is perfect can empathize with you in every moment. He cares for you and friends know that he is with us always. In this season remember the one who is perfect who came to take away the sins of the world. Let your focus be on Him.  Emmanuel. 

<3

Anita 

Joy from the Promises

"How happy you are to believe that the Lord's message to you will come true!” (Luke 1:45)

Friends on this 10th day of advent be encouraged by Marys attitude when God put Christ inside of her: her joy was overflowing that Elizabeth commented on it. She calls her blessed and note it does say "your so happy about how God has blessed you already" but rather Elizabeth is excited about how joyful Mary is as she trusts Gods promsise. Friends do you trust the promises God has for you? Do you overflow with joy before they have even happened? Friends I pray you will have the joy Mary had. Let it be what controls you instead of worry and fear. Let Gods perfect love cast out fear of the unknown and rest in the promises He has given you. I say this as someone who worries and need this advice As much as I give it to you. Please pray for me on this as I pray for your 

Peace and joy to you friends. 

<3

Anita

Moments That Test You.

A sweet girl at work today asked me "Do you ever have moments with patients?" To which I replied along the lines of "moments like...man how fast can I get to a lazy river and a raft?"

I won't speak for every health care provider but to say our patients don't teach us all patience seems impossible. I have moments. Moments where I feel stretched. Moments where I feel overwhelmed. Moments where I'm nervous. Moments where my patient yells at me over their frustration of their medical problems.

But then there are other moments. moments where your heart breaks for the patient. Moments where you would do anything to help and there is nothing you can do. Moments where you want to treat one problem but can't because their other diagnoses limit what you can do and all you can say is "I'm so sorry."

I have moments in all areas of my life. Moments where I loose patience with my husband. Moments where I loose the kindness. Moments where I need a break. Moments where I can do no more. Moments where I'm deficient. Moments where I feel deficient when I'm not.

Our lives are made of moments and these moments test us. These moments grow us. These moments shape us. These moments challenge us.

In The Imitation of Christ by Thomas Akempis Chapter 16 "Bearing with the faults of others" says

"Until God ordains otherwise, a man out to bear patiently whatever he cannot correct in himself and in others. Consider it better thus- perhaps to try your patience and test you, for without such patience and trial your merits are of little account. Nevertheless, under such difficulties you should pray that God will consent to help you bear them calmly"

This leads us back to James 1:2-4 "2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

I've written about this scripture before here:Count It All Joy

Friends in this year when I'm learning about thanksgiving I find days where I'm less than thankful. I had moments today where I was far from thankful and I imagine you have moments as well where you don't "Count it all Joy." In this season of advent let's allow God to work in our hearts and grow thankfulness in us. Let's be reminded that our trials are testing our faith and when we fail the test let's prepare harder for the next one. It's only when we are completely focused on Christ that we truly can count it all joy and deal with each difficulty calmly.

Friends I'm praying you will have joy and patience. That in this season of advent you will allow Christ to move in your life

<3

One accord with one voice

Reading 2ROM 15:4-9

Brothers and sisters:
Whatever was written previously was written for our instruction,
that by endurance and by the encouragement of the Scriptures
we might have hope.
May the God of endurance and encouragement
grant you to think in harmony with one another,
in keeping with Christ Jesus,
that with one accord you may with one voice
glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Welcome one another, then, as Christ welcomed you,
for the glory of God.
For I say that Christ became a minister of the circumcised
to show God’s truthfulness,
to confirm the promises to the patriarchs,
but so that the Gentiles might glorify God for his mercy.
As it is written:
Therefore, I will praise you among the Gentiles
and sing praises to your name.

Friends today think about what the apostle Paul is saying here in Romans.  We are to be in harmony with one accord as one voice. One. As a church we are called to be one and yet we love in a day with thousands of Christian denominations. Is that one friends? No. That's thousands of groups that focus more on what divides them than what they have in common. Friends so much of our faith is a mystery but the church is not. It's not the invisible church. The church is real and tangible and friends Christ started one church. Let's be one, let's focus on what we have in common. Let's let go of heretical beliefs and sacrice our pride and pursue the truth.  Let go of what you believe they sounds good but isn't true. Do this by endurance and encouragement of the scriptures as Paul writes about. 

Praying for you friends and petitioning God to bring us to be one church as the bible talks about where we can glorify God together

<3

Anita 

FOR WITH GOD NOTHING WILL BE IMPOSSIBLE.

For advent day 7: Luke 1:34-37 was what we read tonight as we lit our candle for advent. Each night we read a little snippet of the Christmas story.


34 And Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I have no husband?” 35 And the angel said to her,

“The Holy Spirit will come upon you,
and the power of the Most High will overshadow you;
therefore the child to be born will be called holy,
the Son of God.

36 And behold, your kinswoman Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son; and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. 37 For with God nothing will be impossible.”

Can you imagine what it felt like to be Mary? Her first statement "I have no husband!!" So many sweet women I know are still praying for their husband. They are waiting patiently for the man God will send them and there are several women I know who have met and gotten engaged to the man they want to marry but are still waiting. Mary was betrothed at this point but not her clarity: I have no husband. Ladies no that no matter how close your relationship is with a guy until you are before God taking a vow anything can happen. An angel might not appear saying your going to bear the Son of God, but not only is it a time of waiting: life advent singleness, dating, engagement: these are all beautiful and purposeful seasons of preparation. Seasons of prayer. Seasons of pursuing God in a unique way and watching Him move. In each of these seasons there is no room for settling. No room for fantasy. No need for what you hope someone will be but rather the waiting for the one who IS the guy who will treat you like a treasure. These seasons are seasons of self evaluation. Marriage is a gift from God but a gift to not be taken lightly. It is a lifetime commitment, a covenant with God, a reflection of Christ loving the church and that reflection has been destroyed in so many ways that we can't afford to let it be cracked anymore. 

But for Mary, her season was altered by an angel appearing and giving her the promise that she would birth the Son of Man, the Word of God, the redeemer, the lamb, the Christ. She's told: BTW Elizabeth is 6 months pregnant...you know the one who is well past menopause and has no chance of getting pregnant? And then the words from the angel as if to answer Mary's silent thought of "what in the world? am I dreaming?" 

FOR WITH GOD NOTHING WILL BE IMPOSSIBLE. 

nothing. 

Friends do you believe that? Do you believe that miracles happen and that nothing is impossible?

My heart has been touched by so many that have seemingly impossible circumstances and my prayer for them is the impossible. I believe God can do it if it is His will in His perfect timing. But I also know if He doesn't He has a purpose and a reason that is much more than I can see. I need this reminder in my daily life when I feel like I don't know what I'm doing, or where I am should be. I have to remind myself to trust what makes no sense.

Friends remember that with God nothing is impossible no matter how crazy it may seem. No matter how unprepared you feel. God will work everything out all you have to have is faith. 

<3

Anita

Therefore we must watch and pray lest time pass idly.

This post is a few hours late... 9 hours 37 minutes if we were actually to say it's advent day 6. I apologize.

Yesterday was a busy day of work. After work I rushed home to meet my husband, change and go to our church's annual christmas party. As we just started attending this church it was our first party with them but friends it was such a blessing.

The people were immensely kind. We sat with a couple we met the other night at a bible study, and another couple who we had not yet met. We were welcomed by everyone, dinner was great, and each table was to bring an appetizer. I brought a stuffed baguette I'll share the recipe at the bottom and give credit where credit is due. It's always nice when everyone likes what you bring. The conversation never dulled. They asked about my work and what I find most challenging. They met me where I was and offered to keep me in their prayers.  Both couples were immensely friendly and kept using phrases like "oh you should definitely meet so and so you were definitely get along." The music director and operations manager of the church spent a good deal of time talk to us and if you know us you know we were talking about theology and doctrine. It's nice to have people who thats what they want to talk about. I'm still reading Imitation of Christ but friends he makes a great point about talking.

Imitation of Christ: The Tenth Chapter

Avoiding Idle Talk

SHUN the gossip of men as much as possible, for discussion of worldly affairs, even though sincere, is a great distraction inasmuch as we are quickly ensnared and captivated by vanity.

"Many a time I wish that I had held my peace and had not associated with men. Why, indeed, do we converse and gossip among ourselves when we so seldom part without a troubled conscience? We do so because we seek comfort from one another’s conversation and wish to ease the mind wearied by diverse thoughts. Hence, we talk and think quite fondly of things we like very much or of things we dislike intensely. But, sad to say, we often talk vainly and to no purpose; for this external pleasure effectively bars inward and divine consolation.

Therefore we must watch and pray lest time pass idly.

When the right and opportune moment comes for speaking, say something that will edify.

Bad habits and indifference to spiritual progress do much to remove the guard from the tongue. Devout conversation on spiritual matters, on the contrary, is a great aid to spiritual progress, especially when persons of the same mind and spirit associate together in God."

Thomas Akempis reminds us that our words have an affect and that our conversation matters. He reminds us to edify one another and that talk of spiritual matters helps us to grow. Last night our conversations definitely helped me grow. 

We stayed late talking with a couple about medicine and politics and it was great to hear people concerned about the direction of our country, the poor, the homeless, the uneducated. It was great to hear people who wanted to live out their own walk with God as dramatically as they could. What an example friends you can be in how you live your life. Even in a short meeting or conversation you can shine the light of Christ without evening realizing it. That light comes from the devout personal commitment to a pursuit of a relationship with God. Friends - Seize the Day. Don't put off the time with God because you are "busy" when God never intends for you to be too busy for Him. 

During this advent season friends make the time to spend time with the Lord. However that looks for you spend the time. When we commune with our God it changes our hearts and that can change the world.  In this (well it was this) 6th day advent remember the God who loves you so much more than anyone else you know. Heed the words of Akempis : Therefore we must watch and pray lest time pass idly.

<3

People matter. Love them.

Today I felt like I couldn't do anything. To say work was a challenge is an understatement. I was humbled all day by what I did not and found help hard to come by. My allergies were bothering me, my patients were difficult both in personality and in medical problems and all the while I was praying. Praying God would help me to be His light. Praying I could make it to the end. Praying for guidance and patience and understanding. And when I was able to shut the computer after the day it was a relief to know He got me through. My job at first was seemingly on the easy side and now it's a moment by moment challenge but I know I am being trained and challenged for a purpose and I know that I'm getting a wonderful education.  

What I hold on to today are the patience that thanked me with a genuine gratitude. It's something I cherish dearly as I do my best to give each patient everything I can and to have their appreciation in not required but reminds me God is with me . It's the man who tells me he has a contract with God to live 200 years and thanks me for doing t part to help. It's the guy who tells me he would raher lose a year than eat vegetables or give up his biscuits and gravy. It's the woman who has a list she's had written out who is patient while I go over each with care and is patient when I say " I don't know but let me go ask someone who does". These moments touch my heart. These moments show me a beauty in people and remind me I'm treating someone's dad, grandmother, daughter, friend... Not just a chart. And in the world of managed care it's easy to feel like it's all about the chart. So blessed for these reminders and continuing to pray during this advent season for encouragement and help. For a renewed and stronger relationship with God and encouragement they He is not finished with me yet. Friends thanks for your support. Know that I'm praying for you as well. I encourage you to find the beauty of each person you meet as we are each made by the creator and are image bearers of God. Some of us reflect more clearly than others but we are all the makers handy work. In this season remember people not things are important and spend your time and talent loving people. Love them like Christ and I promise the return of how God shapes your heart for Him is amazing. Praying for you. 

Anita 

Wake Up.

Hello Friends,
Hope you are growing in this season of Advent. Each night my husband and I read a little part of the story and light a candle. Last night we read Luke 1:14-17

14 He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, 15 for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even before he is born. 16 He will bring back many of the people of Israel to the Lord their God.17 And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the parents to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”

He in this passage refers to John who has just been promised to Elisabeth and Zacharia. A beautiful story of patience and waiting. John was to make way for the Lord. He was to be the one to go before the one who would save. He was to make known the gospel while Christ was on earth and that calling was put on his life before he was even born. Friends just as he had a calling before his birth: so you and I do to. We too are called to make way for the Lord. We too are called to prepare the people. We too are to help turn the hearts of those who don't believe but friends we are do so in all love and humility. In all kindness and truth. Never be ashamed to give the reason for your joy but friends don't stand on a street corner holding up signs filled with hate. Signs that claim God hates this person or that one. God is Love. God is perfect. God hates sin but he does not hate the sinner. He loves the sinner so much that he sent His only son to die for the sinner. That's not hate that is an incredible love. A love that can't be measured and a love we are to reflect and share with those we meet. 

Friends I write this as one who fails you daily. I fail to have the love and compassion I need to have. I feel to be the kindness that lights up the world. I fail to be salt and light in this world daily. And each day my heart is heavy with how much more I could have shown the light of Christ. How much more I could have showed someone the love Christ would show them. It's that light I fail to shine that keeps people from ever seeing me as different and that lack of difference is the vary thing that makes the world feel the church is asleep. 

Friends. Wake up. 

Church. Wake up. 

Let's not forget that all is for not without God. 

To live is Christ.

To die is gain. 

Friends do you live like that? Everyday? I don't and that vary reality brings me to a heart of repentance in this season. That very reality shows me that I become complacent about the love God has for me but THANK GOD He never becomes complacent about His love for me. So thankful for a God that never forgets me, never forsakes me, never leaves me, never becomes absent minded about me. 

Praying for you friends. Hope all is well. Don't discourage if you too fail. Use this season to pray for God to open your heart and eyes and remind you each day to be His ambassador in the world. 

<3

Blessings of Love, Kindness and Encouragement

Advent day 3-

Today has been a blessing of a day. After yesterday it's as though God spent the day reminding me He is in control. My morning was quiet calm and collected returning patient calls and working on charts and interpreting labs and listening to the news.  My afternoon was busier with the challenges of seeing patients. The difficulty of trying to stay on time, the praying for patience and grace for the patient who takes out their frustration on you, and the challenge of managing a multitude of issues in a short amount of time. But it was perfectly manageable and I had help. God provided in each moment.

Even when I had a run in with the fax machine trying to use my lunch break to work out applications for loan repayment situations and my kind nurse shared with the secret to sending. On this particular machine don't press 9. That application is important and this was just the best help I could have gotten.

I get home to a box outside and a husband who has made dinner. A beautiful sight as dinner again sounded like a foreign word and I was willing to settle for a granola bar and go to bed. But dinner was great and the box had a surprise and my husband had good news and a skype date with a best friend with a great gift that traveled from canada to california to me. A gift I'd hoped for and so grateful.
Then a great gift of a phone date with another best friend.

Surrounded by love today and I needed it. I needed the sweet kindness and encouragement. I needed the gift. I needed the love.

and you know friends--  I don't just need love and encouragement today: I need it everyday. Just today I was aware of it and I am so thankful for it.

Even my dog has been extra sweet today.

Something amazing friends is that God is always there giving love and encouragement we only need to turn and notice. Take time to notice His encouragement to you in the form of someone else's kindness, or in a beautiful day, or in a special blessing. Don't be confused though--> God is loving you and encouraging you even when the day is ugly, you don't feel blessed and no one is kind.

Friends praying for love and encouragement for you. Praying for this advent season to touch your heart and grow you closer to Him. Use these days  as a jump start to your journey.

<3
Anita

Let Advent Be A Journey Home.

Hello Friends,
Yesterday was on the hectic side and while I had full intention to blog time got away from me. Today has been a hectic one as well but its a day I need to write. Its a day that I know writing will be good for my soul.
With the celebration of advent we know that our hearts are in preparation. Preparation to remember the birth of our savior. Preparation to say goodbye to 2013 and hello to 2014. Preparation for the now, and the future. Preparing our lives not just for a holiday but inviting God in to move and work and grow us. 

And in this season of my life I need that growth. I need that time. I need that preparation. 

I don't know what it is like to be God. To patiently listen and care and consider each prayer and petition and praise given by all of mankind. I can tell you I'm glad He's God and I'm not. I had a schedule full of complicated patients today in 20 minute time slots with more than I could address in that time. I worked hard to be thorough and efficient and it's hard to do both at the same time. Too fast and you miss something. Too slow and you get off task. So you go in for the day like you are going in for battle. You take it one patient at a time and start each one with the same stamina that you did the last. You then check, and recheck their charts at the end of the day to sign them off and start again. The number I saw today was nothing to brag about but the number of issues I addressed in one day was more than I care to share. With each patient I took a deep breath and remembered that I'm the only provider they will see today and they deserve my best. My best is what I gave and that was tiring but I work like I'm working for the Lord not for man. 

In the busy nature of today and yesterday it's a challenge to take care of the other things that need to be considered. Dinner sounds like a word out of some eastern village to me today. You might as well have said WEHUIWN. A shower sounds like a dream and I am pretty sure my pillow has been calling out my name louder and louder with each passing second.  But man have I learned some things in the last two days.
I've learned so many more medical facts/drugs/treatments. Honestly I know significantly more this evening than I did this morning when I left.

I learned to ask for help and wave the white flag.
I'm learning to submit to honestly. To share exactly how I'm feeling

And the words I read yesterday I'm learning more from.
I'm reading Immitation of Christ by Thomas Akempis.
The Twelth Chapter- The value of Adversity
"It is good for us to have trials and troubles at times, for they often remind us that we are on probation and ought not to hope in any worldly thing. It is good for us sometimes to suffer contradiction, to be misjudged by men even though we do well and mean well. These things help us to be humble and shield us from vainglory. When to all outward appearances men give us no credit, when they do not think well of us, then we are more inclined to seek God Who sees our hearts. Therefore, a man ought to root himself so firmly in God that he will not need the consolations of men.When a man of good will is afflicted, tempted, and tormented by evil thoughts, he realizes clearly that his greatest need is God, without Whom he can do no good. Saddened by his miseries and sufferings, he laments and prays. He wearies of living longer and wishes for death that he might be dissolved and be with Christ. Then he understands fully that perfect security and complete peace cannot be found on earth."

Friends no matter how hard the day- only Christ can satisfy. And isn't this the essence of Advent? The very definition of which is :The coming or arrival, especially of something extremely important. The arrival of the spirit infiltrating new parts of our hearts and souls each day thats the essence of advent. The turning back from sin to God --> thats a coming home. 

Friends root yourself in God in a deep way. Use this season of advent not for focus on trimming trees and buying presents and running to parties but as a season of hope, a season of reflection, a season of prioritizing whats really important and spending time with God. Friends use this time to fast. Use this time to surround yourself with love from God no matter if its a season of joy or sadness for you. He is the only one who will satisfy. He is the only one who will be enough. He is the only one that can give peace and security. 

In this season let Advent be a journey home. Let it renew you. Let it give you peace. Let it be a beginning of a year and not the end. 

I'm praying for you. Let me know how I can be praying specifically in this season for you. 

<3

St Augustine's Best Kept Secret: Fudgebuckets and Sand Castle Cafe.

In August of 2012 I married the love of my life.  We had a small wedding which was a perfect day for us and exactly what we wanted. I planned the wedding and reception and my husband was on honeymoon duty. I told him nothing. no preference.

After being sent off we stopped by CVS in our wedding attire. We got snacks and went to my apartment which became ours to change and grab our stuff. We hit to road and I fell asleep. I woke up to not knowing where we were but I knew we were at a hotel and we were together. Fast forward to the next day we got up and went to breakfast. I still had no idea where we were until my husband finally spilled the beans: we were in St. Augustine Florida.

This trip was perfect. We ate great food, saw the sights and had an amazing time making memories together. One night we were walking down Charlotte street after dinner and were greeted by a man and his wife: Gary and Michelle. They owned a fudge and ice cream shop and had bubble wands and kindness. They gave us some suggestions for places around town. We had plans to go back for dessert with them that night, but time got the best of us and we didn't make it. The next night my husband had planned a carriage ride on one of those beautiful horsedrawn carriages that ride through the city. We had dinner at Harrys seafood, and we had wanted to stop at Fudgebuckets to grab dessert for our ride...but again time got the best of us. We went on the ride, and what was supposed to be an hour ended at 40 minutes. Normally this would have bothered me (for someone to say one thing and do another) but on this night it meant we had 20 minutes to get to that fudge shop. We ran. literally. And little did we know what we were running to.

Gary and Michelle are a sweet sweet couple. Not only did they feed us ice cream and fudge but we noticed that they had a cross above their exit door. We mentioned liking it and got to hear about their wonderful testimony. We stayed talking until well past 11 with these great people. The next day we were headed back home.. stopped by to say farewell and said we would keep in touch.

and...we did.

We have been up to see them 3 times in the last year. They have opened their home to let us stay, fed us  and encouraged us. We have gotten to see them take a leap of faith, run after God's will and go from a small fudge and ice cream store to a big restaurant a few streets over called "the Sandcastle cafe". A wonderful place with great food. AMAZING food is more accurate. (I recommend the fried chicken, the burgers, homemade potato chips, crab cake eggs benedict, garys philly cheese steak...basically everything I've tried.) But more than great food...it's a treat to go there to see the great people.

God truly blessed us with this couple and friends if your ever in the area I pray you will stop by and visit them as well. We just returned last night from spending thanksgiving with them and while in the fudgeshop Michelle referred to us as her guests to a customer. The woman asked how we were all related and my husband said "In Christ." While a simple answer it describes so perfectly our friendship with them. God chose us for each other and did a great job in the choosing.

While personally I'm excited to see what else God does with their business, I'm thankful for their friendship and for their hearts for God. Please support them if you get a chance and don't leave without a fudge bucket (I recommend peanut butter but she has a ton of flavors).

Friends you never know where you will meet great friends. I met my husband at a concert, Gary and Michelle on the street, and I can't wait to see what other ways God intersects my life with great people.

<3

Thanksgiving Comes Out of a Heart of Joy.

Hello friends.
Being that my word of the year is thankfulness- I can't very well NOT post on thanksgiving..right?

It's been a tough week, and it would be easy for me to focus on places I'm not thankful.
As I wrote last time: thankfulness is God's will for us. That is a lesson that has amazed me in the last few weeks. When I'm uncertain about where I should be or what I should be doing I come back to this truth. This beautiful beautiful truth that He has called me to thanks in all circumstances. And it's that calling that got me through this past week. Was I thankful in each moment. No. far from it. But have I grown in my ability to be thankful. Absolutely. And it is as thought God knows I need a little nudge in the right direction that He provides so much.

After the roughest day of work so far- my last patient ended up being a blessing. I was able to share love and encouragement with her. I was able to see that God had me there for a reason even when I feel like I'm in over my head, God is there giving me hope to hold on to.

In a morning of frustration with an uncooperative patient, where I felt like I knew nothing- - I was given a kind woman who thanked me for my wisdom.

He gave me some of the best people in the medical field to work with. The woman who helps me with billing is so kind and encouraging. The nurses are so willing to help no matter if they are "my" nurse for the day or not. The providers are helpful and the staff overall is very sweet. Are they perfect: no. But no one is. I'm thankful for them and how they teach me even when they don't know it.

God sent me a dog to warm my spirit in September of 2011 when life was hard, my faith was trying to grow, and my life was a whirlwind that I was trying to make sense of. It's a cold day and we are ignoring the "no dog on the couch" rule. She's cuddled up beside me and I can feel her cold nose pressed against me. Every once in a while she takes in a deep breath and her legs twitch with puppy dreams next to me. She's past due for a hair cut but she's the best 4 legged friend I've got. She truly is a joy and a light to my life.

God sent me my husband in 2012 and what a gift that has been and what perfect timing. I have grown so much in our marriage. It's been tough at times, but it's never been tough to know that God chose us for one another. Hands down I could not have picked someone as amazing as my husband is without help. Nor do I deserve the love he gives me each day but I can't be thankful enough for it. Even on our toughest days we grow stronger and what a blessing that has been.

And in all He has given me over the years there much He hasn't. I don't have a family to call my own truly outside of my husband and puppy dog. I don't have parents that will be grandparents to our kids. I have debt not riches. I have asthma and hearing loss and a continual battle with skin issues. And if I focused on these things..the things I don't have... it would be easy to not be thankful for the good I do have. It would be easy to blow the have nots out of proportion to what I do have. If I have learned anything at all it's to know that we are all missing something. There is not one perfect family, one perfect situation. God carefully allowed what He has in my life to shape me and grow me and give me a testimony that can bring glory to Him alone. What's the best is He brings me moments to share this testimony and proclaim His love and provision often and when I get to do that for a moment I can see why each imperfection was perfectly allowed.

Wisdom 5:21 says "Bolts of lightning will strike right on target as if the Lord had made a bow out of the clouds and was shooting arrows." What a beautiful image that God knows not only the hairs on our head, but He orchestrates each strike of lightning. Sometimes lighting illuminates a summer night sky on the beach. Sometimes it accompanies a strong rain storm. Either way, God is in control.

As advent approaches and the church prepares for the celebration of the birth of our Lord, we have much to be thankful for. No matter how many lightning strikes or joy and devastation in our lives, Christ came to redeem us. The greatest gift of all.

So friends lets not buy into the cheap commercialism the world is selling you this time of year. There is so much more that God has for us than food and objects. Let's not settle for the things of the world but rather have our hearts renewed with a sense of gratitude and joy that comes only from the Lord.
Praying for that blessing for you friends. For joy and peace for you and that you will see how much there is to be thankful no matter what the circumstances. Let's let the next lightning bolts God allows to light us on fire with a thankfulness that makes us overflow in a way that is uncontainable. The very essence of this day is thanks-giving. An overflow of thankfulness that leads to giving. A heart of such gratitude that praise is all we have.

<3

Happy Thanksgiving to you.

God's Will for us.

For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it- luke 14:28

As a type A personality, I can tell you... I'll sit and plan that tower...count the cost...recount the cost..plan some more...count again... and when I'm double and triple sure- I'll build. I've done this most of my life as I grew up with not a whole lot of consistent support and throughout highschool, college, and graduate school didn't really have anyone to lean on other than God. Yet God provided, in miraculous ways. And I found that when He made it clear that I was going to be a PA...that I didn't really have time to sit and count and recount before I built because I had 3 weeks before classes started, and I had no way to pay for it than student loans. So I avoided counting. I avoided looking at my interest rate. I avoided watching the debt add up each semester because I knew there was nothing I could do about it until I graduated.

Now. I'm graduated.

Now they e-mailed me "we are so excited for your graduation.....your student loans are coming to haunt you." Ok so maybe they don't use the word haunt, but they do email me reminding me that I do have loans and I do owe more than I make. But that cost- while great- while maybe not counted and recounted by me- God knew the cost. God knew where He was sending me and God helped me to succeed and survive the program.

I wish I could tell you I just barely survived. But I didn't. I graduated with honors and was chosen for Pi Alpha. God didn't just bring me to it and bring me through it He grew me, shaped me, and made me the person I am today. He allowed me to succeed, gave me the strength to get through the long weeks, and provided a job for me. I've gotten 2 real paychecks so far and I have to tell you that while meeting with a financial planner yesterday he just kept reminding us that we are starting off the right way and that we are in the beginning steps. There is a way out. But its going to take diligence. It's going to take sacrifice. It's going to take trust in the Lord for the unseen. And all the while our financial planner said two things to help us "you know prayer works...and fasting does too." Encouragement from an unlikely place. A reminder to return to where God pushed me for the year: thankfulness. Eucharisteo.

And in this year He has stretched me in a way I couldn't imagine. From pushing me to find truth in faith and not just what sounds good, to learning more about a church than I knew and realizing everything I've been told hasn't always been true even if it made me "feel" good. A church that observes the eucharist and don't think I don't notice that work being the very word of thanks. The very thing I wanted in 2013 as I know His word teaches over and over again :

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18.

Wanna know Gods will: thanks. in all circumstances. Even when the tower is built and you didn't count the cost. Even when you can't see the end in site. Even when you seem crazy to the rest of the world. Even when all you have is tears. thanks. thats Gods will. You don't have to discern it...search for it ... try and figure out the celestial morse code. You don't have to claim a dream or vision to know it. He spelled it out.

Thanks. In all circumstances. Period.

Friends please pray that you and I will be thankful. that you and I will pray and fast in a way that causes thankfulness to pour out of us with no hesitation.

thanks.
in all circumstances.
Even if you owe more than you make.
even if you made a mistake.
even if the things you can't mention.

thanks. in all circumstances.

like a waterfall.

Overwhelmed doesn't cover it.

I'm sitting at the bar area of our new home (a house that we are renting) staring at my kitchen in which the dining room table from our apartment fits comfortably.... so comfortably i could fit two of the same set in there with room to walk around still.  It's an overwhelming sight for me as I can think back to times I've lived in my car, or times when my room was nothing more than a small walk in closet. To say He has multiple my blessings in an understatement when we now live in a 4 bed 2 bath house with a garage from the 1 bed 1 bath apartment we moved from. And the thing is...

i know there are millions of people who are homeless and it breaks my heart.  So I'm praying, praying for God to lead, praying for this house to be a home filled with God and ministry and life. A house filled with the word of God, kindness, peace and patience. A house filled with laughter, and the sounds of a puppy playing. Most of all I want it to be a home that is open, where we can invite one more for dinner unexpectedly and where people are always welcome to stay if they need. To say I see this as just a house would be so wrong. I see it as a mission field. I see it as a ministry. I see it as a blessing, but I know God gives great responsibility with the blessings and I want us to meet that in whatever God has planned.

My cup runneth over.
like a waterfall not just a little dribble.

and heres what I know. No matter how many people tell me I worked for it or earned it I will not believe that because I know that I serve a God that is the giver of every good and perfect gift. I came to this world with NOTHING and I will leave here with the same and everything is a gift. So please keep those lies to yourself because it's God that provided the opportunity, gave me the grace and drive and skills to get through PA school and God alone who has been by my side through the whole thing. All I can say is that my heart's desire to honor Him and to go where He leads. He led me to this moment, this blog post and this house and I know that He won't be finished with me until the day of Jesus Christ.

I couldnt be more thankful. I couldn't be more prayerful. And this was my year to focus on thanksgiving and man has God not only tested my ability to be thankful in the trials and struggles of life, in the fear of trials, but He overwhelmed me with blessings and I'm not just talking houses and a job. He gave me my first appointment in 2 years where they found no skin cancer or pre-cancer when the PA I saw used a special tool and was sure 2 of the spots were going to be abnormal. He had his hand over me when they thought I had a brain tumor (acoustic neuroma for the medically inclined). He showed me to trust Him with the results good or bad. He's given me patience and strength and grace and understanding and helped me to say I'm sorry when I fail. He's given me sweet moments with my husband and has given us so much help in our trials. And I can't help to be completely broken by all He has done and by how much I don't deserve any of it. I don't deserve health, wealth and prosperity like some will try and tell you and any gifts He gives me is not based on my belief but on His kindness alone. My trials also have not been a result of a lack of faith because that heretical gospel inadvertently has you "working" for gifts and yet preaches faith alone.

I pray that God will help you to be thankful no matter where you are..whether you are sleeping in a car or on a park bench or if you live in a mansion. Whether you are healthy or sick, whether happy or sad. Remember that each experience is God perfecting us and training us. Sometimes He says no when He has something else better in mind. Sometimes we can't see what He is doing but He is working it out. Trust Him friends . Love Him. Thank Him. Glorify Him alone.

<3 Anita

Faith alone.

Dear Friends,

A topic that has come up a lot of late is this idea of faith vs. works. My husband and I enjoy asking people what they think and believe as a way to get different perspectives. Not to judge, not to compare, simply to inquire. Doing this has led us to think about all sorts of issues that maybe we wouldn’t have put much thought into previously. However, doing so has opened us up to a great community with others and ability to learn and grow.

Recently we have been asking people that we meet what they think or what they have been told or what they think the bible says about what is required for salvation. We have gotten all sorts of answers: baptism, prayer, repentance, be a good person… the list note I would like to tell you that salvation is from the Lord and the Lord alone. No group of people have ever been given the authority to determine what is requires. Moreover I want to make a distinction between what God has said is required, what God has said is a sign of obedience, and what it is that none of us can be sure on. I would also like to say I have my masters in medical sciences: not theological study. So know that the conclusions I’m about to draw won’t take you back to the original greek or anything of that sort.

So.

One of my favorite books of the bible is the book of James. I can’t tell you when my love for James writing started but I think it was while I was engaged. The letter is quick to tell you not to doubt God when you ask for judgement, it reminds you to keep your mouth quite, that anger is not from God, that kindness and mercy are seen as beautiful to God…any many other beautiful things that I find I go over and over again now that I’m married.

But each time I read it something else sticks out to me and today it was in James 2… James 2:24 says “You see then that it is by people’s actions that they are put right with God, not by their faith alone.”

There was an entire protestant reformation that one of their founding doctrines was Solo Fide or faith only. But James here is telling us it’s not faith alone and I think that when the protestant reformation happened they were probably speaking to what many of us get caught between on this idea and that is if we say works are included that when Paul writes to the Ephesians in 2:8-9 and says we are saved by grace through faith it is a gift so that no man can boast. By saying works are included doesn’t that take away from the idea of grace ? “a gift given with no merit” 

No it doesn't because the very definition of faith is that it is active not passive. 

James is simply giving what I believe to be a zoomed in version of this verse. He is zooming in on the word faith and defining it. Like many words we use so flippantly faith is one that can’t just mean something abstract or arbitrary to each of us but yet should have a definition. (paradoxically I find it interesting that it doesn’t’ say we were saved by grace through our love for  God it says by our faith.) James goes on to make clear this idea by giving examples of Abraham and Rahab. He concludes chapter 2 v 26 with “So then, as the body without the Spirit is dead so also faith without actions is dead.”

He is reminding us that if the Holy Spirit is moving and dwelling in us we should be different. Now let me clear I still believe belief comes before the behavior and I’ve got blog posts on that, but once you at any point recognize God as existing or being someone to pay attention to there is a faith grows and that faith is manifested by the change in your life. To be clear I will emphasize that the change you make, the actions you do are not you earning your salvation because as we said it’s a gift from the Lord, but it does say that we are saved through faith and it is therefore impossible to tease apart the web of faith that is completely a marriage of the belief you have and the outpouring of the Holy Spirit in your life in the form of actions.

There are lots of places for people to debate on salvation and I’m not going to cover baptism or some of these other requirements people have imposed on other people, but I will say that God is a mighty and active God and He is continually WORKING in our lives. That beautiful display is absolutely going to stir a response in those that see the beauty. When you realize how amazing it is that He sent His son to die for you, there is no way you don’t want to live for Him. Again salvation itself is a gift from the grace of God but the bible does give us information as to some of what goes into that. We can't know everything about it as God has only given so much information, and we can't speculate. On some things we must say as Zachius did : Salvation is from the Lord- and praise Him for that beautiful gift that He provided and is working out in us each day. 

Please keep me in your prayers as I wait to see how I did on my pance, and unpack my new home. In a few weeks I will be starting a new job and I ask for prayer for that as well that God  would prepare me to love and help others.

<3

Anita

footprints and mountain climbers

I feel like so much has happened so I need to do a quick update.

I've graduated: I am a Physician Assistant with a Masters in Medical Sciences.
We applied to rent a house.
I found a job that I'm just finalizing papers with.
...did I mention I graduated?

while that only takes up a few lines. its several years in the making. I've been in school my whole life and towards the end of high school I decided I wanted to be a PA. I had a lot of people tell me:
-you should be a doctor instead- no thanks.
-you won't get in without working as a nurse/emt/other healthcare professional (they were wrong)
-you should get your phD instead- no thanks.
-you won't like living 3 hours away from home- they were wrong...


and now here I am in a hotel in Texas as my best friend has her first day of work as an engineer and I'm stricken with the fact that I'm done. I think its the first time thats really sunken even though graduation was like 5 days ago.

and I have to say. I couldnt' have done it alone. I couldn't have done it without the strong support of my husband and the overwhelming abundance of blessings and provision from God. The first really is part of the latter.

Honestly- from giving me a seat in the program....to helping me get through the 2.5 years with many surgeries for skin issues...and many recoveries...and many moments where I felt like I couldn't do it...God got me through. You know that story with the footprints in the sand and at the end it's like "when you see one set of footprints it was then I carried you?" ...
God didn't just carry me: At times I feel like He dragged me kicking and screaming and at other times I feel like He carried my hopeless self the next couple steps and threw me in the water with a loving sentiment of "sinking isn't an option you better swim." And I did with His help: I just kept swimming. And in the middle of the program He threw me a curveball: an amazing husband. And I am so thankful for Paul and the blessing he has been in my life.

I don't know if you watched the Price is Right ever...but when I was a kid (and maybe still) there was a mountain man on there.

source

This little mountain man you watched on the show as he climbed up this giant mountain as part of a game. A person is shown several small prizes and is asked to guess the retail amount. There are 25 steps to the mountain and the climber goes up 1 step for ever dollar the guess is off. If the climber falls over before the person guesses correctly the prices then the contestant looses the game. While I wouldnt' say the game it self really correlates with my experience the idea of this mountain, and this little yodeling mountain man slowly climbing up is very accurate. And now I'm at the top of one very big mountain I've been climbing and yet at the bottom of the mountain of my career. It's an interesting place to be and one that leaves me both amazed at how far of come and a little unsure of if I know enough to climb the next mountain. I have my PANCE exam in 16 days and so I have a lot of studying to do. 

In summary: I am so thankful for the accomplishments that I have reached, but I definitely wouldn't be here without the God. I am so thankful to Him for His unfailing love of me and help with pursuit of such an amazing goal that He put on my heart so long ago. He worked all things together and in that process I learned so much more about Him and about love. So excited to see what He has planned next. 

Be praying for me friends and let me know how I can pray for you. 

Love,

Anita

one of the newest Physician Assistants :) 

If.

Hi Friends,
Another update in the Order in the Bible series. Last time I did Psalm 37:4. Check it out if you didn't get to read it. Today I have another one for you:

Proverbs 1:23 If you turn at my reproof,behold, I will pour out my spirit to you;
I will make my words known to you.
So whats the order here?
1. Repent
2. God will pour out His spirit and make His words known.

How often are we looking for God to speak, to show us the way or to give us a sign? If your me: often. I'm always asking Him to make my path clear, and to give me wisdom. (hint for the next post). But how often to I fail to repent first: often. In this version it starts with "IF" which I think is so perfect (note my opinion on whether or not I like what scripture says is not important). I think it is perfect though in that it demonstrated that there is a choice to be made. If we turn at His reproof. If we repent. If we humble ourself. IF. Meaning for the latter to happen, the former must happen first. A beautiful order.

Repentance. A turning from sin to God. How often do I fail to repent. How often does God with hold His spirit and His thoughts due to my lack of repentance. Friends what is God asking you to repent? What are you clinging to instead of Him? I find int he times where I walk away from God, I feel like He is distant though I know I'm the one that took those steps away whether quickly or slowly, I moved He didn't. And He knew He would need to tell me to come back if I want to hear Him. Come back if I want to feel His strength and comfort. He is continually calling us back.

Friends are you feeling distant from Him? He's calling you to come back in the most patient and gentle way and when we return His call He welcomes us with love. with warmth, with wisdom. What has God been asking you to turn from? What are you putting before Him?

Let me know how I can pray for you.
<3
Anita