I remember sitting in mass about a year ago and seeing an elderly woman with a white lace doily which she wore atop her head, and which she removed at the end of mass. I had never seen anyone do such a thing and wondered if maybe the mass intention was for someone who died that was dear to her, or maybe she got hot and that's why she took it off... or maybe she just liked lace on her head? As a protestant I NEVER saw anyone do anything like that. I thought it was pretty, but was too shy to ask her why she did it.
I then noticed a few times over the course of the last year seeing women with hats on in church. My very first mass a woman wore a hat and I couldn't understand how she could be so disrespectful (because I didn't understand I assumed like men, women shouldn't wear hats in church...assuming is usually a bad idea). I saw women with veils sometimes white, sometimes black, or other colors but there was usually only one woman who I would see do it and I usually saw it at a local shrine (a place for visitors). Just as quickly as I noticed, I dismissed it.
About a month or two ago, I started to notice that Mary, nuns, and various saintly women are always pictured with their hair covered. I wondered about the reasoning behind this as I know nothing in the catholic church is based on "just because I felt like it" but I never looked in to it. Then I saw an article:
Veiled for the sake of angels . It gives a great overview and explained a lot to me but I wasn't sold on doing it.
It made me start praying about it. I wasn't even confirmed yet, I couldn't take the Eucharist so I figured I had time to think about it. I got Confirmed on May 17th (you can read about that
here) and on that day walking up to the Eucharist truly the beauty of the moment hit me. It is indescribable what it is like to take the Eucharist. I grew up with bread and wine but it wasn't actually Jesus. While He was spiritually apart of it, it wasn't physically Him. I knew right away that how I respond to Christ should be different than I responded to the Lord's Supper in the Baptist church, or communion in nondenominational churches I went to. It was always important and special but now, it's a physical encounter with Christ.
So I went to Houston, TX to visit a friend and my grandmother. For 8 days I got to go to mass daily and it truly was an amazing experience to get to encounter Christ daily and it is something my heart yearns for now that I'm home and work prevents me from going to daily mass. My friend Kelly went with me and each day going with her was wonderful. It touched my heart so much to share something so important to me with a friend. I had explained veiling to her and expressed that whenever we go to church we should always dress in a way that is ready to meet Jesus and that grew in my heart more and more.
The first mass we went to in Houston was a St. Matthew's Catholic Church. It was beautiful and God overwhelmed me with how sinful I am and I sat for some time on my knees in tears after mass and had nothing but tears for God. Tears of joy for my gratitude and tears of sorrow for my sinful ways, but God comforted me.
The second day in Houston we went and tried to go to Maximilian Kolbe Catholic Church but a wrong turn meant we would have been 20 minutes late. Clearly, that's most of a weekday mass so a quick search and I found St. John Vianney Catholic Church and it s 5 minutes away. Mass was at 9 am it was about 8:20am at this time. We were able to get there early and pray in a beautiful chapel and then went into the main church for mass. Sitting in mass I was so thankful to be in mass another day. A woman in her late 70s or so walks in wearing a veil to which Kelly says "see that lady is dressed to meet Jesus you should talk to her." I thought about it and had talked myself out of by the end of mass. After mass she says "alright I'm going to pray in the chapel you go talk to her and left." So ... At that prodding I walked up and said "hello I wanted to ask you about your veil and just how long you have done it and what your experience has been." She starts off telling me that she lived up north and it was the normal at one time everyone wore it and then ladies stopped slowly wearing them, she says it really made her evaluate wearing it and she realized if she stopped it would be to follow the majority.
She said the majority will more often lead you to hell than heaven. She realized Mary would have never walked in a Church without a veil and she wanted to follow mother Mary more than the lady next to her in the pew. She said that she gets a lot of questions and for her it's about honoring God as she remembers when a woman's hair was her crown and the world says our bodies are the crown and that's not of God. She told me
the fearless are the ones who become saints and no one ever became a saint by holding on to her fears. She said that I should be an example as probably many women would veil and are afraid to be first.
She kept emphasizing that following the world does not lead to heaven or to sainthood. I wasn't saying anything during this 5 minute or so talk but I felt overwhelmed by her words. Mary hadn't crossed my mind. Fearless sainthood hadn't either. We started walking out and I asked her name. Mary Jean. She asked mine and then said "I'm glad you came to me. I encourage you to do it it will bless you as it brought my daughter back to the church as she grew up with me veiling and she slowly fell away. She came back saying she missed the reverence and peace and humility she felt at Catholic Church with her veil and Christ." She in her sharing probably told me 3-5 times to do it. So that wrong turn... Maybe not so wrong. Her words are still overwhelming to me and definitely pierced me and moved me to tears.
The next morning at Christ the Redeemer church I met Jacqueline who is a 20-30 year old mom with 3 little ones in tow. She wore a veil in mass and was a woman after my own heart who didn't remove her child from mass when he got a little fussy. So I talked to her- same question as for Mary Jean and she said "women are called to veil no one told us to stop and women just did
but during mass we are lifted to heaven and in that we are before God so out of reverence and humility we are called." She pointed out men are Gods glory and women are mans glory and we need to embrace our unique femininity in a culture that pushes immodesty, in that we can connect with God . As she spoke I thought of Martha using her hair to wash the feet of Jesus and how beautiful that is, how reverent and how much glory that brought our Savior. She pointed out some churches in the area that require it and that as servants of Christ we are to be reverent in anyway we can and in mass as women veiling is a way we can do that. She explained with a heart that made you really think and left me with the question: If this honors God why wouldn't I do it? I told her about Mary Jean.
These two women really rocked my heart and I know there is no coincidence that I met them.
The next day we went to mass in this small chapel and there were many women who veiled and I prayed that God would continue to grow in my heart the courage to veil. By this time I knew I wanted to do it but I was nervous I would distract people by veiling. I kept praying and I felt God continue to circle in my heart that everything beautiful in the Church is veiled: the chalice containing the precious blood, the alter, the Eucharist in the tabernacle, the priest in his vestments. It kept overwhelming my heart that during mass we are lifted up to heaven and how I wanted to present myself before God. While I know He accepts me and loves me no matter what I wear, I want to give Him my best, I want to save things just for Him just as I saved things just for my earthly spouse.
I ended up buying a veil at a Houston bookstore which was a leap of faith for me and decided I would try it. One week after my confirmation we went to St Francis De Sales church for a Saturday evening mass (Note: my confirmation saint was St. Francis De Sales.) I decided to go for it and wear a veil for the first time. It was a gorgeous church and the priest had an amazing exuberance and was so welcoming and aiming to connect. I wore a veil and I was the only lady in church with one. No one asked me why or pointed. No grenades went off. In fact, mass occurred seemingly untouched. I did have several older ladies smile and nod at me. The homily was about how the grace of each sacrament should overwhelm our hearts each time we take part in them.
Each time we take the Eucharist joy should overflow in our spirit as we physically encounter Christ. He shared if the sacraments don't amaze us, then something is wrong. So true. When I shook the hand of the priest on the way out he asked me lots of questions such as my name and where am I from, what is my vocation, how did I find the church and when am I coming back. I am not sure if that's just how he is with visitors but the kindness was encouraging to my heart. So while none of this is extraordinary ...the experience of wearing the veil was. There was a beauty and a humility that pierced my heart through the mass, and when I approached the Eucharist I could feel a difference. An overwhelming feeling of peace that I felt everyday that week, but it amplified. It felt natural and it felt joyful. It felt as if it was meant to be this way. Definitely a beautiful grace comes from this that is possibly as indescribable as the Eucharist. The church defines graces that come from sacraments and while veiling is not a sacrament if I had to guess at what grace would be assigned to veiling it would be the knowledge of pride. It makes me so aware of how prideful I am. I would definitely recommend trying it. I understand better everything Mary Jean and Jacqueline shared with me. I see why the church changed it from being mandated to optional. Wearing a veil should be something you do out of honor and respect, out of humility and love of God. It shouldn't be forced but should be a calling and something you pray about and discern if you want to do it. It's a devotion and a gift.
I've had people tell me that Mary had to wear a head covering because of the time she lived in but I don't believe that. Mary was a Christian and that violated everything of her culture, to uncover her head would have been nothing short of the general pattern of the radical steps she and other followers of Christ were taking. She chose to continue to veil. While I may never know exactly why, I know she could have chosen the opposite. I find it beautiful that she and many holy women before me have veiled.
“Woman, because she was created by being drawn from man’s side, is constantly trying to return to him. She desires the original unity of one flesh and one bone. The desire for unity between man and woman is a mirror of the relationship between Christ and the soul. As woman longs for union with man in human relationships, she is also drawn to unity with God. He calls her to become one with Him: to come under His side and become flesh of His flesh and bone of His bone. This occurs during reception of Eucharist. The covering of the head with a veil symbolizes the reality of woman sheltered in the side of her Source and becoming one with Him. She becomes covered and hidden in her Divine Spouse.” ~ St. John Chrysostom, Doctor of the Church
There are many different ways to veil. A scarf, a hat, a pretty headband, a lacy large or small veil. Remember veiling is a devotion, there aren't rules, but there are some traditional guidelines. Traditionally married women wear black and unmarried white, but veiling is something you should do in the way you feel called no matter if it is black, white, pink, glittery, or however else you might want to wear it. However you do it, know that it is for the glory of God and to present yourself to Christ in a humble way. It's is NOT to attract attention, but some people might notice you doing it. Make sure whatever you do is for God and not for others. Further, don't let the fear of others stop you from what God is calling you to. Remember only the fearless are saints.
I want to include some pictures of some beautiful women from a group I am part of on Facebook. They show some of the beautiful different ways to veil. Veiling is a calling and if you don't feel called to veil
that's okay :) It's a choice, a gift and a devotion but I completely understand that many people are respectful and honoring to God and don't veil. For me I felt God leading me to it as I know when I stand before the Eucharist, before Christ's physical presence on earth, that everything about the experience is a heavenly encounter and I wanted to present myself in a way that would be different and would be special just for Christ.
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Angeline in a stretch lace headband
Theresa in an infinity scarf
Valerie in a scarf
I encourage you to pray about it and veil if you feel called in the way you feel comfortable. It's a beautiful devotion that has blessed my heart and I hope it will do the same for you.
God bless,
Anita
Thank you to those who sent me pictures to share. I would love to add you to this post! Feel free to send your photos my way
