On October 11th 2014 I traveled to St. Augustine with my husband and one of my best friends, Suzanne. I had a heavy heart as we drove up as baby Ariana, a sweet infant in the NICU of South Carolina was in critical condition. God had blessed her with life on 9/17/14 and she was given to Brianne and Daniel to love and care for her for a short time. We at the time had no idea what God would plan from there but we knew that He had a plan. She has been beautiful from her first day and while all I've seen are pictures and updates I loved her as if I knew her personally. Knowing it was the feast of Our Lady of La Leche we had to go to the shrine just a few hours away and pray for Ariana. We had to pray for Brianne and Daniel. We had been storming heaven with prayers and asking all the angels and saints to join in with us and each day we celebrated to know she was alive. As doctors tried to give up Brianne and Daniel didn't, they fought for care, food and water for her, they asked for some positive news and asked for love and compassion. They were ready to take her no matter what whether healthy and happy or in a wheelchair, on a feeding tube, on a respirator, they loved without limits. They knew she was perfect no matter what happened. They knew she was created by a loving God and they cherished being entrusted with her care for as long as God allowed it. For Paul and I, other than giving and praying that's all we could do and on this day we were both teared up offering to God all of our intercession. Praying for comfort, praying for peace, praying His will to be done.
As we got there and I got on my knees in the warm little chapel the stories hit me:
My friend who loves babies so much whether human or furr babies and she and her husband are struggling with the weight of infertility. I know God's promises. His timing.
The coworker who is so sweet and she and her husband have the cross to bear of infertility as well.
It came flooding back sitting in that restaurant with a friend telling me she lost a baby through miscarriage.
The text messages from another that their princess went to be with Jesus due to early delivery.
The pictures of all the babies lost to abortion and the fight of Osceola County to STOP Planned Parenthood from claiming the lives of the innocent children. I prayed for the community as they not only stop abortion but that they would say YES to adoption, fostering, respite care, and love for the children that are unwanted or the families or are unequipped.
The e-mails I have received of women who have read my blog and are stopping birth control and trusting God with their fertility.
The close friends I have who have had struggles during their pregnancies and our prayers for health babies and health deliveries.
The mommies who come in who hurt as they break their bodies to provide nutrition for their children through breast feeding. I prayed for strength for them and that they wouldn't give up.
My own struggles of wanting a baby but trusting God to lead us to a place where we could even consider that. We are faithful to not use contraceptive but through just reason have been avoiding pregnancy and yet my heart so much wants to grow with love for a baby of our own. Praying that God would prepare my heart as I have no idea what He has planned for our family but we will take it. We will love the babies He gives no matter the cost and no matter how He gives them. We are openly a family that says - if you don't want your child please drop it off at our house. Your going to have an abortion? Give it to us instead. We don't know when God will use our openness but someday He might and we will welcome with open arms all the beautiful babies God will bless us with because each is just that: a blessing.
At 25 years old, with only a four legged furr baby that sounds like a crazy thing to accept- as many babies as God will give us, but God has brought us there, both Paul and I and I know that it is by his design we have that heart and not of our own will.
In a society where babies are treated as an inconvenience and birth control treated as a right up there with the importance of air and water I sat in awe. In awe of how backwards we have become to name fertility as a disease with a treatment. To hear my patients say "my husband got fixed" as if he were "broken" before shocks me. Friends, these stories and more I contemplated on a tiny bench, next to my husband as I saw tears stream down his face in prayer. I knew without him even speaking he was praying for the same things I was and our afterward conversation confirmed it. It's amazing to have your husband be on the same page as you are, down to having the same prayer intentions without even rehearsing them.
As I sat in mass and the Bishop Esteveze shared on the importance of Our Lady of La Leche. He explained that she is the first depiction of Mary that was celebrated in the United States. She features a breast feeding Jesus and provides intercession for healthy deliveries and babies. She provides hope for couples struggling with infertility and God answers prayers for visitors to this shrine every year who bring back their babies in thanksgiving. He shared how many couples struggle to get pregnant and how precious babies are. He charged the faithful to hear: babies are a gift, each and every one.
As I sat there I continued to pray. The mass was beautiful with so many faithful there to celebrate the feast and so many children could be heard throughout the mass. It was beautiful among the words of the gospel to hear the babies giggle and cry. Their very presence blessed my heart as I prayed and listened.
"While he was speaking a woman from the crowd called out and said to him, "Blessed is the womb that carried you and the breasts at which you nursed." He replied "Rather, blessed are those who hear the word of God and observe it" -Luke 11:27-28.
Here we see Jesus not rebuke the mother of Jesus but emphasize her attentiveness to God's word and the need for our attentiveness. Jesus loved His mother and she was the first disciple so willing to follow where God called. She is to be blessed for her faithfulness. As catholics we recognize her call to "Do whatever He tells you." We don't worship her, but we don't ignore her. We are thankful for her example as we are thankful for the example of all the saints.
I got out of mass and met Haley from Carrots for Michaelmas. She was a sweetheart and I encourage you to go check out her blog here: http://www.carrotsformichaelmas.com
Another faithful catholic family and it was so great to meet them. It was her blog I've used to encourage mommies that babies are welcome in our mass. Please read this post: How My Kid's Didn't Ruin Mass
As we walked the streets of St. Augustine I held my husband's hand. He wasn't feeling well at all and yet he was so selfless with his time letting Suzanne and I explore and never once complaining.
Friends please pray for them and all the mommies and babies out there. Pray for healthy babies and healthy deliveries, healthy breast feeding, and healthy families.
Friends let's love babies. Let's love women. Let's love families. Let's provide for the needs of one another and let's love the least of these, the innocent children. Let's stop hiding the struggle of women to conceive and let's stop treating fertility as a disease. Let's love without limits and let's trust God with our lives, our bodies and babies.
For Ariana I will remember and celebrate the Feast of Our Lady of La Leche each year, to remember that no matter if you can't even speak or walk or eat you can be used as an instrument of God.
"Naked I came forth from my mother's womb, and naked I shall go back there. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord!" - Job 1:21
Please be praying for Ariana just as we are. I know as much as He has challenged Brianne and Daniel He has given them so much. Faith, family, friends, love, Ethan, and He has so much more to give to them. So much grace for them. I see an amazing love for Him in them and I am so blessed to know them. For now all I can do is ask you to pray for all involved.
I pray that Our Lady of La Leche will intercede for Brianne and that in Gods timing that He will provide for them the desires of her and her husbands heart.
<3
No comments:
Post a Comment