Pleated Strip Quilt

Hello Friends,

Not too long ago I picked up a new hobby of quilting. I'm no expert by any means but I thought I would share some of my first projects.  The first thing I made was a baby quilt which I will do a tutorial of soon. The second thing I made was a pleated strip quilt for my good friend Kelly. She requested a quilt as a christmas present and I was excited to have a reason to do another. 

I first picked out 8 different fabrics and cut them into 2.5 inch x fabric width strips (most fabrics will be 42 to 43 inches in width making this a nice way to make it uniform. How much fabric you need will depend on the size you want your quilt to be.  As this was only my second time using a rotary cutter and mat, know that you can do this too as long as you can be patient. I did it while catching up on my favorite shows on hulu. 

For pleated strips you will need 3 (2.5 inch by fabric width strips together).

                            

After a little bit your ready to go. I personally liked the idea of coordinating but differing fabrics. The only request I had was purples and greens so I first found that beautiful pink and green flowers fabric 4th from the bottom of the picture above. I then just found fabrics to go with it.
(Note: I'm one of the prefer not to prewash my fabrics people so these are unwashed.)

The next thing to do is to determine your pattern. You can have a set pattern or not it is up to you. I did every 5th strip pleated because I found it would work out nicely with the fabrics I chose. Please feel free to be creative.

Sew your strips together in the patter that you like leaving for 1/4 inch seam allowance. Ensure that you switch ends that you start each new stripe with or your strips will start to curve quite a bit (I learned this the hard way).

When you get to a strip where you want to do pleating. (remember these are 3 strips sewn together to have enough fabric to do the pleating.) Begin by pining the fabric down and then follow into pleat and pin. This is a little time intensive as you need to pin each pleat. Sew into place, unpin and then pin each pleat to the next strip. While it takes a little longer than just a straight strip you will find that the end result looks great.

                                             

                         

As you continue to sew strips it will begin to look like this. Notice how nice the pleated strip looks! It adds a little flair to the quilt but if it seems like too much you could just do strips. When it gets to the desired length your ready to place the batting, back and bind the quilt together. I did quilt the project by "stitching in the ditch" or sewing the top, back and batting together in the seams between the strips. I did this on every 5th strip to create a nice pattern on the back. Being new to quilting this was a good idea as I was not ready for free motion quilting at this point. This tutorial won't cover these steps as I failed to take pictures of this process for you but I hope to get some together soon, however if you good " binding a quilt" you can find lots of help there. 

My final quilt ended up being 42 x 53 a good lap sized quilt. This was the intended size for me but again be creative. The last pictures show the finished product. Keep in mind the way I am holding it in the last one does make it appear as though my stripes aren't straight but they are...for the most part. :) 

Handmade projects are a beautiful way to show people that you love them. I encourage you to try this easy project. If you have questions please let me know. 

<3

Anita 

The Last Thing I Ever Wanted To be...

The last thing I ever wanted to be was Catholic. I grew up in a southern baptist church that while doctrinally does not teach catholicism is evil, the members of my church sure felt that way. I can remember being told that catholics worshipped satan and believing that as I had no reason to question it.

About a year and a half ago my husband and I had been going for 9 months to a nondenominational church. We had tried so hard to get plugged into to the community, he was serving with the youth and I was helping teach a woman's group. We went to bible studies but we still felt as though it wasn't a good fit. We didn't want to be people who just went to what "felt good" so we stayed until God was clear that wasn't our home. Newly married we wanted couples to pour into our lives and help us in this new stage of life. I wanted older women to learn from and Paul wanted men he could grow from and with. We didn't find that where we were and so we left around thanksgiving of 2012. We honestly had no plan of where we were going to go but prayed God would lead us.

We started going to another nondenominational church in Lake Nona, FL. This church had what we wanted: a great marriage ministry and lots of woman who loved God and wanted to know the bible. We got plugged in but still found that some things didn't add up. Doctrinally little things bothered us but nothing had been said that was too far out there. Around this time (January 2013) I was beginning my pediatric neurosurgery rotation.

I can recall just before I started I kept meeting people who were telling me that their bible had more books in it. Growing up baptist I never questioned where the bible came from because if you asked me I would have said "It's the inspired word of God." That's true, but how did it get put together? Did it drop out of a cave ? Did someone find it on an archaeological dig and did it look like my Kids Application Bible or was it more like my grandmothers King James? These questions bothered me but I didn't look much into it as I kind of chalked it up to them being "catholic." No need to look into that.  I rationalized that perhaps they had all the books after hours and hours of research on how the bible was put together and I was certain I was probably missing a few, but I didn't want to be catholic and at least I could say that everything in my bible was inspired but maybe I didn't have the whole bible... so what? Using that logic now I'd tell you that if someone tried to rip out Hebrews or James or Revelation today I'd claim them a heretic (but thats exactly what was done...these three... 4 more for the new testament and 7 from the old. The new testament was fixed but the old testament never was.)

First day of my neurosurgery rotation my preceptor mentions she's Catholic and I should read books by Scott Hahn to learn about the Catholic church. I wrote it down, and forgot about it. I didn't want to read them because I didn't want to be catholic. A few weeks later at her house for lunch she gives me Rome Sweet Home to read. Dr. Hahn is an engaging writer and it took no time to get through the book, and no matter the subject I don't turn down books. I remember thinking some verses he mentioned were puzzling like "the church is the pillar and foundation of truth." Which begs: Which church? I was willing to overlook this information though, until my husband read Rome Sweet Home. We returned the book but couldn't return the ideas. That sunday at church our preacher got up and was speaking on Ephesians 5. He said we were all "predestined in love." He explained this meant that God doesn't love everyone and that He only loves those who are predestined. As we then all stood and sang a song about how God loves us, Paul and I looked at each other knowing we could never go back to this church. It was heretical to say God doesn't love everyone as it destroys the nature of who God is.

Not too long after that Paul and I both felt God putting on our hearts that birth control was not His plan. This culminated in me coming home and sharing what I learned in school that day. As a physician assistant student we discussed all sorts of topics but what we learned about birth control shocked me:

Birth control has 3 functions
1. Ovulation- birth control inhibits ovulation
2. Cervical Mucus- birth control thickens cervical mucus to limit the sperm from getting to the egg should ovulation occur
3. Abortifactant - birth control thins the uterine lining to prevent implantation should the first two mechanisms fail.

I remember not being able to wrap my mind around that third one. "Prevents Implantation." Implantation of what? A baby. Life begins at conception: a baby is made with Gods guidance when egg and sperm meet. It travels down the fallopian tube and ...implants in the uterine lining.  I came home and told Paul I couldn't take it anymore and my heart broke for the babies God might have given that the medication didn't allow to live. This though still breaks my heart and I pray often that one day if that did happen to any that I'll meet them in heaven and be able to honestly apologize because I didn't know. Had I known, I never would have taken that medication. I later learned that birth control starves and suffocates the baby to death even if it does implant. Talk about cruel and no one told me.

Of course no birth control for a newly married couple ...and we started asking people what we should do? At the time I thought babies were made like cakes even though my medical training told me otherwise. Put in the ingredients and wait.  They told us "pray about it." No advice. No answers. I began to research these functions of birth control to learn that the Catholic church knew these functions and thus encouraged natural family planning through a variety of methods (note: the rhythm method is not natural family planning.) I came to a place where I believed what the church said about birth control but I didn't want to be catholic.

We did around this time meet with a Protestant pastor from my baptist church who I respected. I figured he would tell my husband the catholic church is wrong and that would be the end of it. Instead he recommended Sex Love and Marriage by Christopher West and told us the Catholic church has it right on these subjects and we should follow them but ignore the last page on Mary. I couldn't believe my ears and couldn't appreciate that book more...even the last page.

By this time we were attending mass but it wasn't a happy experience. I hated it, Paul felt bad for going but we were certain we didn't want to be separated and when I asked my husband where we should go to church he said : the Catholic church. I'm thankful now that he had an answer because I truthfully didn't. I could tell you why we shouldn't go to many of the other churches in the area but my reasons for not wanting to go to mass were that it was boring as if church was ever for our entertainment rather than for worshipping God. By this time I had figured out they didn't worship satan as they said "Do you renounce Satan and all his works? - I do." It was tough for me to want to stand and kneel and bow to what I wasn't sure. I used it as time to pray that God would either show me the truth of the Catholic church or He would change my husbands heart and take us away from the Catholic church. I found myself defending Catholic doctrine as to dispel misconceptions as I talked to people being clear that I wasn't Catholic but that Catholics do NOT worship Mary, they do NOT worship satan, they DO believe Jesus is truly present in the Eucharist, they do believe marriage is a sacrament... I was clarifying but not sharing, I was reading a lot but much of it I found confusing to what I knew.

It took a lot of prayer, and time for God to open my heart to the Catholic church. I didn't blindly follow Paul and I didn't make it easy as I was questioning everything down to that I wouldn't cross myself without good reason and I wouldn't bow just because everyone else did. I wanted to know why and how and when it started and then decide if I felt we should do it. I won't go into all these things here but what I will tell you is the tipping point was not all of these things, it was the Eucharist.

I read many books during my journey but maybe the two most important were "The Jewish Roots of the Eucharist" by Brandt Pitre and "The Sign of the Cross" by St. Francis De Sales. In the book by Dr. Pitre a trail between the manna of the old testament and the Eucharist of the new testament was carved out showing me truth that I had never encountered and an explanation of scriptures that have baffled people for centuries.  God led me many other places during the reading of that book and I went on a quest to prove that in some way the Eucharist was either true or false as there could be nothing in between. I read books, I scoured scripture, I prayed and through grace God showed me that when Jesus said "My body is true food and my blood is true drink" it wasn't a metaphor or a symbol. It was true. Learning that helped me during mass quite a bit as the mass is all about the Eucharist: it's all about Christ. To claim its Jesus either has to be true or the church is the biggest heretical place out there because they bow to a cracker. Either they are right, or they really are wrong and NOTHING in scripture could show me that it wasn't Jesus and rather all of scripture screamed that it IS Christ.

I'm still learning and growing and I truly could make a whole book out of this story as it was such a journey but my take home message would be to look into it. Look into what they teach and why they teach it and know why you don't believe it. All I was doing was looking for a way out and God slowly brought me in. I'll be confirmed on May 17th in the Roman Catholic Church and it seems like it can't come soon enough.

To say this is the last thing I ever wanted to be would be an understatement, so if you think I'm crazy I completely understand. My husband can attest that this was the hardest decision I have ever made not only in the amount of time it took to come to this conclusion, but also in what it has cost me. It has cost me the ability to practice medicine at a lot of offices as I am a pro-life provider.  It has cost me friends, who have asked me not to be their friend if I'm catholic, or not to talk about it if I am going to be catholic. I've had friends, family and strangers, bosses and potential employers challenge and question my decision to be catholic. It definitely has not been the convenient option. I can tell you it was the right option, because it is following the truth and God's leading.  It's truly a miracle that God has brought me here, where I least wanted to be but I know that He has a plan for me and my faith.

I'd be happy to answer any questions you have please e-mail me at beautifulgoodtrue@gmail.com
I'll tell you it's a journey to the church just as it's a journey to faith in God.

Jesus, remember me when you come in your kingly power

One of the criminals who were hanged railed at him saying, "Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!" But the other rebuked him saying "Do you not fear God since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we indeed justly; for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong." And he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come in your kingly power." And He said to him, "Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise."



One of them despairs. One of them pours out his heart and to Christ while the other is blaspheming. One repents, the other requests pardon. One is prayerful in his appeal, the other is demanding.

While this story has been debated on many sides to determine whether or not this man was baptized or not, whether or not there is purgatory or not, whether or not Paradise meant one thing or another, there is a beautiful picture here outside of biblical scholar hood that we can all agree on. Both thief's on the cross recognized Christ but their hearts toward knowing him were completely different. This should so much impart to us that simply knowing the name of Christ does not constitute a true understanding of who He is. Simply knowing Christ is God doesn't even give the best picture. What do we learn from this interaction: Christ made possible salvation to the world and with that gift He also gave us an intimate way to know Him and we are called to be devoted to Him. The first thief treats Jesus like a get out of jail free card where the second thief doesn't even ask for salvation, he simply asks to be remembered. For God's mercy.



This brings me back to Jesus speaking about the pharisee and tax collector. Jesus always was looking for hearts that were crying out for mercy to the Father just as Jesus in His earthly life called for God’s mercy on himself.



Friends which thief are you? Are you crying out to God in blasphemy or are you prayerfully and whole heartedly begging your savior to remember you knowing He has the power to save you. Friends be the second thief. I say this knowing I’m the first thief too often in my own life. Too often do I reject God in the choices I make and yet ask God “please help me” in this that or the other when I feel stuck. Too many times I can remember doing what I want to on Saturday night but begging for Him to bless me on Sunday morning. We are either for Him or against Him. Thankfully God has grown me and I find myself more on the side of the second thief amazed by the power of Christ and asking Him to please just remember me knowing it’s only by His grace I’ll be saved. Often I find myself unworthy and am overwhelmed by the grace and peace Christ gives me. All is a gift and nothing earned and I pray God would grow my heart more and more to be the second thief and destroy the parts of my heart that look like that of the first thief. Let us reflect on Christ’s ability to save us and on the state of our heart. Let this reflection move you to repentance.



<3

Anita

"Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do."

Friends, 

I am reading an amazing book at this time by Frances De Sales called Introduction to the Devout Life. He writes some inspiring words on how to grow in true devotion to Christ. A particular passage that stuck out to me this morning is below:

"But, my daughter, you must not stop short in general affections, without turning them into special resolutions for your own correction and amendment. For instance, meditating on Our Dear Lord's First Word from the Cross, you will no doubt be roused to the desire of imitating Him in forgiving and loving your enemies. But that is not enough, unless you bring it to some practical resolution, such as, I will not be angered any more by the annoying things said of me by such or such a neighbour, nor by the slights offered me by such an one; but rather I will do such and such things in order to soften and conciliate them. In this way, my daughter, you will soon correct your faults, whereas mere general resolutions would take but a slow and uncertain effect. " -Frances De Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life.

Friends. What were Jesus's first words on the cross?

Luke 23:33-34 And when they came to the place which is called The Skull, there they crucified him and the criminals one on the right and one on the left. And Jesus said, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." 

The first thing Jesus did? Pray. Who did He pray for? Those who were crucifying Him, and inevitably for us in our complacency against true devotion. They were killing Him and He was praying for them. Friends this should radically move your heart. I'll say it again:

THEY WERE KILLING HIM AND HE WAS PRAYING FOR THEM!

Friends. would that be you? Honestly? Would that be you? Would you be praying for your murderer as they slaughter you? Would you be asking God for their forgiveness as they torture you? Would you be praying God forgive them if they nailed through your hands and feet into the wooden cross and pushed a crown of thorns into your skull? With your arms stretched out on that cross, in your difficult effort to breath would you hoist yourself up to say "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do?" 

How much does our sweet savior love us that in His death He provided this perfect picture. One sentence but an amazing message. Friends if we are to be imitators of Christ could we do this? Friends in this time of Lent we are called to be led to a place of repentance and forgiveness. Friends contemplate these words and apply them to your life. Hear the sweet words of Jesus speak to your heart as He prays for God to forgive you even in the places you know not what you do. Pray that the grace of the Holy Spirit would enlighten your heart to your sin and that such knowledge would lead you to repentance. 

Friends to true meditate on this can do nothing but bring you to tears. Tears of thankfulness to Christ of His compassion. Tears of repentance at your failure. Tears of heartbreak for others who know not what they do. 

What does Frances De Sales write: that mere resolution to be more forgiving would have little effect but meditation on Christ will help to correct your faults. Friends we can not on our own grow in forgiveness and repentance without Christ. So we must start with the cross. Start with His words. Start with His love. We are called to forgive as Christ has forgiven us. We are to pray for those who persecute us. We are to be known by our love. In context with Jesus on the cross his commands because sweet pleas. Friends: He loves you. He loved you so much He died for you and as He died He prayed for you and for your forgiveness even when you are ignorant of your sin. Let this move your heart to forgiveness friends. Let this rock your world.  Let this bring you to true devotion of Christ. 

"...devotion is the delight of delights and queen of virtues since it is the perfection of charity. if charity is milk, devotion is cram; if it is a plant, devotion is its blossom; if it is a precious stone, devotion is its luster; if it is a rich ointment, devotions is its odor, yes, odor of sweetness which comforts men and rejoices angels." - Frances de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life. 

Friends let true devotion to Christ grow in your heart this Lenten season. 

<3

Anita

4000 died today in the USA

Hello friends,

I regret to inform you that 4000 innocent died today. Approximately 4000 babies died today because of abortion. Today I come to you with a heavy heart. Today I ask for your prayers. A heartbreaking display of the 4000 that die each day from abortion is below. Friends please give these children life. Please support pregnant mothers. Please provide for one another and please please please respect life. Please let me know if ever I can help you and your considering abortion. Please pray with me for the 4000 lost today. Please let's end this.

Please lets stop pretending it's not happening or turning a blind eye to it. Please lets stop condemning the women who have abortions and start loving them and showing them grace. Please let's remind them that they are carrying a beautiful baby that God place their. A gift from heaven. Please let us help to steward that gift. 

Friends please know that if you have had an abortion that there is hope. Please know that if you want to have an abortion that there are options. Please know that if your pregnant your not alone. Please know that I'm praying for you and I don't mean that in a careless let me say I'm praying for you to make myself feel better sort of way. Please know it breaks my heart that these children died today. Please let's not let 4000 die tomorrow...and the day after that...Please lets take a stand. Please lets love these little children. Please. 

please pray with me. 

<3

Anita

Gods rules

I have written about my friends Gary and Michelle before. The kind fudge selling God loving people from St Augustine. They open their home and hearts to us with no pretense. Michelle grew up catholic and went to catholic school. She speaks of it with fond memories and says she was never smacked with a ruler, but has fond memories of a blue ruler with the 10 commandments on it. She recalls being a 4th grade student with this ruler reading the commandments over and over. 

She talks of feeling like she couldn't imagine ever breaking one of them and yet she say there as we handed her the ruler pictures above tearfully confessing she's broken them all. Somewhere between this ruler meditation and life things got messy. As she spoke I recalled my own childhood, involved in a baptist church in south florida singing about being in the Lords army and going to church everytime the doors were open. I was an awanas kid and I did sword drills better than most. I was moved to tears at my Christian youth summer camp as I nailed my sins to the cross. I believed in God and would tell anyone who would listen. The translation however from church to home wasn't there. At home we didn't pray. We didn't read the bible, we didn't talk about scripture and Gods rules. Instead I was told "don't do this... Don't do that." A logical person given no reason to follow what I was told figured some lessons I would have to learn the hard way but the ones I learned that way could have all been avoided had I been taught the why behind the what. Now I wouldn't change it it gives me a great testimony in knowing God can radically change anyone in His perfect timing, but I remember the days when I would sneak reading my bible by flashlight past my bedtime and I remember thinking how much I wanted to be like the great people in that book who loved God. I never walked away from church fully but I did not always live my life in life with those commandments. Even now in a place in my life where I'm trying to give everything I am to God I fail to keep those 10 commandments. It's my failure that reminds me of the need of my sweet savior. Not that I should not do my best but when my best fails grace takes hold. 

Amazing grace how sweet the sound. I'm so thankful for Gods kindness that while he gives us His standards He gives us a means to meet them . He gives The Holy Spirit to guide and comfort and the precious blood of Jesus to cover my multitude of sins. He wants my best but loves me at my worst. It's through His love that I'm led to repentance which yields a sweet grace for my soul. Friends don't misunderstand me. We are called to holiness but know that our works are a demonstration of our faith, an intractable  part of our faith. We don't work for our salvation because salvation is an unlearn able gift but we are saved for a purpose (Ephesians 2:8-10). 

Friends contemplate Gods rules and know that He has good works planned for you to do. He wants the best of you and for you. Let your failure of meeting the "rules" lead you to prayer and repentance so that you make be closer to God. Meditate on his word and remember the faith you had in your childhood. Remember how you couldn't imagine disobeying or not loving God (if you grew up in the church) remember He goes before you and with you and your not alone. 

My heart and my flesh may fail but Lord you are my portion forever -psalm 73:26 

Demanding More.

Hello friends,
I hope all is well. Day 2 of the Lent season here. I drank water. I didn't give up pop and coffee officially for Lent but I did think about it and as I thought about it I thought I would at the very least drink more water...which I did and I realized I am really terrible at drinking water but that I have much room to grow in this.

Today was a day of expectations both on my part and on the part of my patients. In a typical day I expect my patients will have things they want to discuss but today I found my patients by and large very...demanding. They wanted certain things, some which I could do others which I could not and at yet with each patient I tried to begin as patiently as I did with the last and be open and humble to what I need to do. At times it was tiring and trying and I couldn't help but think about how amazing it is that God patiently cares for and loves each of us and never seems to be tried or tired of our requests and petitions. While none of my patients knew how I was feeling I longed for rest. The past week we have had company and while it was a good week it left me with little time for extra rest and relaxation. I found today the fatigue caught up with me and yet by the grace of God I was able to keep it all together. My heart is blessed that tomorrow is Friday and that I am not on call this weekend. An opportunity to catch up on house cleaning and sleeping and reading and a reminder how much time I do have if I make the best of it.

And then I went after work to see my sweet sweet neighbors and their two daughters one of which is only a few days old. A different type of demanding was seen. The almost two year old who wanted milk and barney and attention and entertainment. A newborn who demanded to be held. A mother who gives everything she has to these two little ones with great patience and care.

And then home. Demanding rest with a puppy dog demanding attention.

While all of this may seem mundane I became keenly aware of how much I demand from God even if I would like to never admit I do that. How much I demand of myself with a to do list that is always just past reasonable to get accomplished. How much I demand of my husband particularly in needing time with him.

To demand. To require. To claim. To ask for urgently.

But God is a God of patience, of understanding, of timing. I've seen him move quickly and I've seen him more slowly but whether quick or slow I know its always perfect time.

If I'm going to demand... I need to demand more time with God. Demand more faithfulness from myself. Demand more commitment to holiness from my life. Demand more love from my heart. Demand more kindness and compassion and purity of heart for my patients. Those are what I should require. Those are what I should ask for urgently. Those are what I should claim.

Friends... what do you demand? What do you require? What do you ask God urgently for? I pray that you will grow to only demand Christ even among the various demands of the day. We may live in this world and be called to the demands of daily life but as christians...this is not our home. We have to keep that perspective. We have to have a richer view of the truth. We have to bring our petitions to God by first honoring God's petitions to us. We must trust He knows what is best and trust that He will provide what He sees fit.

Friends wherever He has put you: whether with customers, or patients or crying babies (or sweet sweet sleeping babies) or days of joy or trials... trust He put you just there in that moment for His perfect plan and for His perfect work. Trust Him and as you demand more of yourself rest in the grace and peace of Christ that He will give you the strength and courage to walk the path God calls you on.

<3
Anita

Repent and Believe the gospel.

Happy Ash Wednesday! To all my friends who do not celebrate this day ill briefly explain : on Ash Wednesday the season of lent begins a 40 day ( really 46 day) season preparing for Christ at Easter. On Ash Wednesday our foreheads our dawned with a cross made of ashes and we are reminded that from dust we came and to dust we will return. As the priest drew this on my forehead he said : repent and believe the gospel and a flood of emotions hit me. A knowledge of my sin and a reminder that my sin is a reminder of places of unbelief in my heart and that of that I need to repent. I say all this as if it's something I've always done but it isn't. I grew up southern baptist and I never celebrated lent or Ash Wednesday. I wondered what was on people foreheads on this day and did they know it was there. When I heard of lent I always heard it related to giving up some sort of unhealthy food or caffeine and thought it must be some sorry of spring diet. Now I know it's a season of fasting and repentance and almsgiving. It's a season of preparation. The reflection of the why Christ was crucified before celebrating his resurrection. A season of dedicationZ a reminder to run the race well. My hope this season is to spend more time in the word, more time in prayer and more time writing. Friends I hope if you don't celebrate lent that you will at the very least commit to prepare your hearts for the rememberance of the death of or Lord and the celebration of his resurrection, When we spend time realizing our need for a savior the gospel truly becomes good news. That good news should move our heart to repentance. That should lead us to a desire to be closer and closer to our saviors.

So friends ...repent and believe the gospel. 

Repent. Turn to God. 

Believe the Gospel and let the good news illuminate your heart and let your light shine . 

Repent. Believe. The two go hand in hand. 

<3 

Anita 

Respect Life

41 years ago today Roe V Wade legalized abortion in the United States. More than 56 Million babies have been aborted. This truth both breaks my heart and angers me. It breaks my heart there are women who feel helpless who feel they have no other options. It breaks my heart that families aren't supporting each other and men are helping to make babies but won't be fathers. It breaks my heart that children were denied the chance of life. It angers me that our churches don't take a bigger stand to support these women and children and families and to fight against this tragedy. More than 3000 babies will die today due to abortion and it angers me there is no justice for them. It angers me that if I am against abortion that people assume I'm against women and freedom. My prayers go to those women who are currently pregnant who don't know what to do. Please seek help and if you don't feel ready for a baby please consider adoption. My prayers go to those who have had an abortion that the church would love on these women and show them grace and kindness as the circumstances that often surround abortion are sad. My prayers go to the people who have failed to love and support pregnant women that they would have a change of heart. But most of all my prayer is that God would help to end abortion and that as a church we would give people better options.

2014: New Year, New Word.

In 2012 I had a word: Discipleship.
In 2013 I had a word: Thankfulness.

In both years God grew me in these places. Did He grow me in other places?  absolutely -100%  But when I took time to notice him growing me in these particular areas in the last year it was amazing.

This year was a big year for us.  We grew a lot. We questioned a ton. We learned about the church and about God. We grew together. My husband got a new car, I graduated PA school, passed my boards and started my first job. We traveled together to New Hampshire, Delaware, Washington DC, Baltimore, MD, Tampa, St. Augustine and I went to Texas to help my best friend move and get situated. We moved into a house. We bought a washer/dryer and we have a big table to gather family and friends around. We learned to budget better. We completed Dave Ramsey and are running like gazelles. We loved each other more. We grew closer to friends. We studied the bible harder. We were blessed with a year of no skin cancer for me and a year of good health for Paul. We changed our diet cutting out GMO foods slowly but surely as much as we can. We were blessed enough to give more in 2013 than ever before. We trusted God with more and more and He blessed us more and more. I am excited and prayerful for 2014. Excited to see what God has planned. Excited to grow and learn and see what is in store for our family. I'm sure 2014 will have trials as did 2013, but I know that God has a plan and I have my husband by my side.

For me specifically this year not only blessed me with accomplishments and paychecks but I learned a lot. Specifically I learned to be thankful. I wish I could you I have mastered thankfulness: but what I've mastered is learning how often I'm not thankful. I have learned more about what the bible says about thankfulness and I have learned to make a habit of being thankful that is greatly improved form previous years.

In the last day of 2013 I was challenged. My work had applied for a specific type of loan repayment program that would really help us financially. It's something we prayed about a lot asking God to provide. Yesterday I found out the office was declined. We did not get loan repayment. In that moment was I thankful: No. I was sad. I trust God has a plan. God is helping me to see that plan, helping me to trust Him. And as I sit and ponder and pray about what word God wants to grow me in this year I'm met with so many words that mostly could be summed up in the following:

the fruits of the spirit : love joy peace patience kindness goodness gentleness faithfulness and self control.

I could be more loving. God is love and that is what He asks of us.
I could be more joyful (I learned that in my year of thanks) having my thankfulness overflow into joy.
I could use peace that surpasses all understanding.
I could definitely use more patience.
I could grow in kindness.
I could have more goodness flow out of me and learn more about God's goodness
I could be more gentle, and compassionate.
I could be more faithful, trust that God is faithful and trust Him.
I could have more self control and give more control to God.

so I asked my husband  and he suggested love because you can become more joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, general faithful and controlled. The greatest of these is Love. A word that as I had prayed about this so far had come up often.

So there we have it folks. Love.

Happy 2014.
What's your word of the year? What word are you seeking that God can teach you about in 2014. Friends know that even though I focused on 1 word, God used that word to grow me in so many other words and it helped make me more aware. It's not limiting God to one word but opening my heart to see how that 1 word God uses in so many ways.

<3

God did not make death

I apologize friends that I did not continue blogging each day of advent. As some of you may know if you follow me on twitter or read my last couple of posts:  my grandmother passed away on December 19th. To say the news saddened me is an understatement. When my mom died back in 2008 I was sad, but my grandmother: my mamaw passing broke my heart. The last time I saw mamaw was August 23rd of this year. I was near where she lived for my graduation from PA school and I was told that her caretakers were out of town and she was staying in the hospice unit of the hospital. As I wrote before: her illness was not physical as much as mental. She had alzheimer's disease that had progressed and she couldn't be left alone. The time was a blessing. I got to talk with her, got to hear her ask me not to "play with her memory" and I even got to comfort her and feed her. I knew it was the last time I was going to see her and she was kind enough to bless me with this picture:

While I will cherish this picture. This is not my mamaw. She looks frail and small in this photo. I look like a giant leaning over her bed. The most recent good picture I have of mamaw is from 2004:

This is how I remember her. She also kept here hair nice, and wore bright color clothing. 

Her hair has been white as long as I have known her. 

Her smile here looks half hearted but I know that it is real from the look in her eyes. 

In the last 10 days those close to me have offered kind words:

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"She's in a better place" 

"let me know if you need anything."

"praying for you."

and the kindness that these words represent has been amazing.

Something we must remember friends is seen in Wisdom 1:13 "Because God did not make death, nor does he rejoice in destruction of the living." It goes on to tell us in verse 16 : "It was the wicked who with hands and words invited death, considered it a friend, and pined for it, and made a covenant with it..." Friends: God creates life not death. So why is there death? Death is a consequence of sin. Not one persons sin in particular but rather is a consequence of sin. Again wisdom teaches us about this 

wisdom 2:23-24 "For God formed man to be imperishable; the image of his own nature he made him. But by the envy of the devil death entered the world, and they who are in his possession experience it. "

The apostle Paul writes of this in Romans 5:12-14 "Therefore, just as through one person sin entered the world and through sin, death and thus death came to all inasmuch as all sinned- for up to the time of the law sin was in the world though sin is not accounted when there is no law. But death reigned from Adam to Moses even over those who did not sin after the pattern of the trespass of Adam who is the type of the one who is to come." 

So how terrible: because of Adam and Eve and their sin death entered the world and satan is over death. However we know Christ has conquered satan, sin and death! What a wonderful blessing!! However we live in a world that believes "death is the norm." "its natural" It's not. It's a product of sin and and only Christ has overcome death with His resurrection.

So as christians what is our response to death then? 

prayer. I pray for mamaw that God would have grace on her and grant her eternal life with Him. I know that this is His choice, and He is perfectly just so whatever He chooses is right. I'd encourage you friends when you have lost someone to pray that God would have mercy on them for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. 

friends I ask you to please pray for my grandmother that God would accept her into eternity. Pray for those she left behind that they would be faithful to God in the lives that they would run the race well and live lives that glorify the one true God. Friends I pray that for you that you would live a life worthy of your calling and that God would one day welcome you into eternity. 

<3

God is the only certainty.

Yesterday my grandmother died. No one thought to call me and tell me but I called to find out how she was and was told "she died at 313" friends at first these words didn't sink in and as they did I could do nothing but cry. I spent my drive home asking God why death doesn't make sense.. Why can't we hug God.. Why does He allow death to still feel like a sting when Christ conquered death, 

And as I talked with God and drove home eyes filled with tears a real ness was there. I kept praying for comfort and to get home safe. I wish I could tell you her death was a joyous announcement to me with the hope she would be in heaven but rather it was an announcement of sadness over what I lost. It has been a while since she was mentally coherent but somehow even in all she lost she still had so much to give. She had a bible that was falling apart and she could play the piano by ear without music copying the song on the radio. 

I remember this rocking chair she had which I wish so much I could have. She would sit me on her lap no matter how much bigger than her I got and sand this old song "my baby just cares for me". It's memories of Klondike sandwiches and BBQ at the park and using the corded phone in the kitchen way after wireless were popular. These things have flooded my mind and sent waves of joy and sadness. 

I worked today which kept my mind busy but was difficult. I'm one to run and not think, one to busy myself until the time passes. But God knew what I needed. He blessed my day even with its challenges. He gave me strength. He timed one of my closest friends coming home this weekend and had a trip planned for that to busy my weekend. But then. Then he gave me a boss who gave me no option but to take bereavement time. No option but to think and process. My mind has swirled with ways I can fill that time but I'm certain those last two days of advent are to be still. To let Him teach me and grow me. To spend time in the word to shut out the world and to listen. 

Friends in these remaining days of advent take time to be still. Take time to prepare your heart for the joy of the kings birth. 

If I know anything it's that life is full of uncertain twists and turns and God is the only certainty. In this season spend time in that certainty. 

Praying for you friends as I know many of you have lost loved ones. God is the only certainty, trust Him in this time. 

Brought closer to God by the help of a sweet woman

Yesterday I got a text message that broke my spirit:

Mamaw has 48 hours to live please be praying for a peaceful transition xo.

Mamaw is my 98 year old great grandmother by marriage who took care of me from 3rd grade to 6th grade.  She is the women who knew things with my mom were not good and when I came to visit my grandparents she stepped up and said "Let me keep her." She is the woman who in 1st grade picked my up every sunday to take me to church and after we always had either Publix fried chicken or a whopper. A sunday treat. She taught me to make pecan pralines, she gave me my first driving lesson and she taught me to respect my elders. She loved me the best way she knew how but that was a challenge for her as time went on. She was developing alzheimers and no one knew.

I'll never forget the day in 4th grade where she didn't know me. She didn't know anyone. She didn't know what she was doing. Doctors called it transient amnesia with no known cause. I knew that day I was living with her not just to help me but to help her.

I remember the day when I became too much for her to take care of  but never too much for her to love.

I remember when she got mean because of her alzheimers and it became hard to separate the two.
I remember stumbling across the streaks of meanness that seemed blurred into her personality and I didn't know where these bumps began and where they ended.
I remember her helping me when I needed to buy a car.
I remember no matter how many times I had to explain who I was to her over the years as soon as she remembered and realized she would say "Anita- she loves the Lord."

memories.

now her memory has been really bad in the last few years. And I have moved away but while i know she won't remember my visit, i've still visited. This time though she is medicated for comfort. This time she wouldn't be conscious. So i don't go to say goodbye to the sleeping beauty.

Because of her I know God more. Because of her I love my bible. 

Friends who inspired you? Who brought you closer to God? 

In this season of advent thank them if you can and if you can't pray for their soul. 

Anita 

His Concern for me brings me to worship

Friends in this advent season I am learning so much about the need for God. This is something I know in my mind but something that has regrown in my heart in this season.  And this need for Him has overflowed in this season not only because I am focusing more on Christ in this season, but also because in seasons of difficulty you are aware more and more of your inadequacy and need for help.

-My job while I love it at times is very challenging. Every day is a learning experience and every day I need Christ to help me through. My patients can be a challenge.
-Being a wife is a job and I am always learning new things about my husband, new things about my role as his wife and new ways I need to grow. It's a blessing but it takes work and in that work I need Christ to help me be patient and kind and respectful and loving and submissive.
- Finances have been a challenge for us in that I have quite a bit of student loan debt. Between that and the bills we need to pay it is a challenge and I pray each day God will provide for us. He hasn't let me down but in this season it's been something on my heart and mind as the first payments of my student loans are due next month. It's a scary reality that we will be living for the next several years and we are praying that God will help us with this.
- I want a baby. Truly there is nothing that sounds better than holding a little one in my arms that God helped my husband and I make. I'm excited to grow our family. But I have to trust God each day in that now is not the best timing for because of the aforementioned jobs, finances, and time I need Christ to comfort me and help me to wait and be patient in this time and to protect my heart for the task of trying to conceive and the trials that can come with that. It's a while off for us, no babies in the near future unless God wills them.
-friendships are a challenge in some ways. both a blessing and a challenge. As God has been growing me and changing me it does affect my relationships and in that it's a challenge. It's also a challenge that we moved about 35 minutes away putting me further away from my close friends and that has been a struggle. A struggle to adjust to the inability to just run down the stairs to see a friend, and a struggle to not be able to meet in the middle as easily. While we do have friends where we are now there is a challenge.

Even in all that I know the Lord knows my troubles. In
Exodus 4:31 "The people believed when they heard that the Lord was concerned about them and had seen their affliction, they bowed down in worship."
Friends the Israelites bowed to the Lord for He knew them and not only did He know them, he was concerned for them. I know God is concerned for me. I know that Christ cries and prays for me in heaven. I know the Holy Spirit translates my tears and I know God has a vat of my tears He is saving. His word tells me these things. I know my name is written on His hand and that He cares for me. I know He will never leave me or forsake me. And that my friends is true for you too. That truth brings me to my knees, and softens my heart. That love brings me to repentance. His kindness blows me away.

Friends let the kindness and the concern of the Lord draw you to bow down in worship. Let knowing that the God of the universe loves you rock your world.

<3

A Season of Mary When The World Is in a season of Martha

Hello friends,
I apologize for my brief absence. I apologize to you, but mostly I repent to God in that I wanted this to help me stay on track to each day be learning new things and I have been learning a lot but haven't been documenting. I've been busy for busy sake. Too busy and that is a call to repentance.

In Luke 10:38-42 we see Mary and Martha. (Note not Mary- mother of God).

38 In the course of their journey he came to a village, and a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house.
39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat down at the Lord's feet and listened to him speaking.
40 Now Martha, who was distracted with all the serving, came to him and said, 'Lord, do you not care that my sister is leaving me to do the serving all by myself? Please tell her to help me.'
41 But the Lord answered, 'Martha, Martha,' he said, 'you worry and fret about so many things,
42 and yet few are needed, indeed only one. It is Mary who has chosen the better part, and it is not to be taken from her.'

Friends how often are we Martha in this story. How often are we too busy to sit at the feet of Jesus? In this story not only do we see a beauty in Martha's willingness to serve but we see a place to call us to repentance when our serving brings us away from God. Here not only is Mary at the feet of Jesus but she being a Palestinian Jew brings a light to this passage that exudes a boldness to sit at the feet of Jesus even when at time when women were not to sit in this way. 

Jesus says only one this is needed and Mary has chosen that. That one thing? time at His feet. 

As Amy Carmichael pens in Calvary Love: "If I covet any place on earth but the dust at the foot of the Cross, then I know nothing of Calvary love."

In the season of parties and shopping and decorating and cooking and tinsel and lights and cards on top of the normal work and struggles of everyday life, it is easy to be Martha in a season where we are called to be Mary. Called to be seeking God in the season of Advent. Called to love Him and be open to Him growing us in new ways. 

"If you withdraw yourself from unnecessary talking and idle running about, from listening to gossip and rumors, you will find enough time that is suitable for holy meditation" - Thomas Akempis- Imitation of Christ. 

So often even without the season I'm a Martha. I'm worried and busy and planning and working and planning some more. But friends what's better in all seasons is to be a Mary. To sit at the feet of Jesus. To be quiet and listen to Him speak. To be open to listen and sit and wait on the Lord. And this truth overtook my heart today in the midst of Christmas shopping and I found myself on a bench in a garden in prayer and reading. And it was such a peaceful and beautiful time. The weather was perfect, and God was there and for some of time I was just silent. Just listening. What a blessing that time was. 

friends I encourage you to spend time with God. Be in the quiet in the still. Be at His feet. Let it prepare you for the celebration on December 25th. Let Him show you WHY He came to the world before you celebrate His coming. 

praying for you friends. 

<3

Emmanuel. God with us.

Barnies white Christmas icecream by publix is quite possibly my favorite frozen confection. I enjoy a bowl far too often but love the sweetness, the coffee flavor, the cold , the chocolate chips. There are some parts I don't like : it's runs out fast... It makes me cough because cold exacerbates my asthma.. I have to brush my teeth after because I hate the sugar feeling.. But it's my favorite.

While seemingly silly I think this is a perfect illustration of how nothing in life is perfect. There are two sides to every coin. Some days at easier to be on the negative side than the positive. There are people I know life this and I'm guilty of it on days too. 

It's makes it hard to picture heaven when you are rationale. The idea of a perfect place with no more tears sounds too good to be true. And yet our very reward of salvation is the gift of eternal life in heaven with God. And honestly I picture being on my face before God for all eternity. I can't imagine or fathom the idea of looking a perfection. Yet in this season of advent we wait and welcome the birth of perfection to walk among us. Emmanuel. God with us. He was here. He was talking and walking and breathing on this earth and he had moments of joy and moments of sorrow. It wasn't rainbows and butterflies all the time sometimes it was sweating blood. 

Friends know that He who is perfect can empathize with you in every moment. He cares for you and friends know that he is with us always. In this season remember the one who is perfect who came to take away the sins of the world. Let your focus be on Him.  Emmanuel. 

<3

Anita 

Joy from the Promises

"How happy you are to believe that the Lord's message to you will come true!” (Luke 1:45)

Friends on this 10th day of advent be encouraged by Marys attitude when God put Christ inside of her: her joy was overflowing that Elizabeth commented on it. She calls her blessed and note it does say "your so happy about how God has blessed you already" but rather Elizabeth is excited about how joyful Mary is as she trusts Gods promsise. Friends do you trust the promises God has for you? Do you overflow with joy before they have even happened? Friends I pray you will have the joy Mary had. Let it be what controls you instead of worry and fear. Let Gods perfect love cast out fear of the unknown and rest in the promises He has given you. I say this as someone who worries and need this advice As much as I give it to you. Please pray for me on this as I pray for your 

Peace and joy to you friends. 

<3

Anita

Moments That Test You.

A sweet girl at work today asked me "Do you ever have moments with patients?" To which I replied along the lines of "moments like...man how fast can I get to a lazy river and a raft?"

I won't speak for every health care provider but to say our patients don't teach us all patience seems impossible. I have moments. Moments where I feel stretched. Moments where I feel overwhelmed. Moments where I'm nervous. Moments where my patient yells at me over their frustration of their medical problems.

But then there are other moments. moments where your heart breaks for the patient. Moments where you would do anything to help and there is nothing you can do. Moments where you want to treat one problem but can't because their other diagnoses limit what you can do and all you can say is "I'm so sorry."

I have moments in all areas of my life. Moments where I loose patience with my husband. Moments where I loose the kindness. Moments where I need a break. Moments where I can do no more. Moments where I'm deficient. Moments where I feel deficient when I'm not.

Our lives are made of moments and these moments test us. These moments grow us. These moments shape us. These moments challenge us.

In The Imitation of Christ by Thomas Akempis Chapter 16 "Bearing with the faults of others" says

"Until God ordains otherwise, a man out to bear patiently whatever he cannot correct in himself and in others. Consider it better thus- perhaps to try your patience and test you, for without such patience and trial your merits are of little account. Nevertheless, under such difficulties you should pray that God will consent to help you bear them calmly"

This leads us back to James 1:2-4 "2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

I've written about this scripture before here:Count It All Joy

Friends in this year when I'm learning about thanksgiving I find days where I'm less than thankful. I had moments today where I was far from thankful and I imagine you have moments as well where you don't "Count it all Joy." In this season of advent let's allow God to work in our hearts and grow thankfulness in us. Let's be reminded that our trials are testing our faith and when we fail the test let's prepare harder for the next one. It's only when we are completely focused on Christ that we truly can count it all joy and deal with each difficulty calmly.

Friends I'm praying you will have joy and patience. That in this season of advent you will allow Christ to move in your life

<3

One accord with one voice

Reading 2ROM 15:4-9

Brothers and sisters:
Whatever was written previously was written for our instruction,
that by endurance and by the encouragement of the Scriptures
we might have hope.
May the God of endurance and encouragement
grant you to think in harmony with one another,
in keeping with Christ Jesus,
that with one accord you may with one voice
glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Welcome one another, then, as Christ welcomed you,
for the glory of God.
For I say that Christ became a minister of the circumcised
to show God’s truthfulness,
to confirm the promises to the patriarchs,
but so that the Gentiles might glorify God for his mercy.
As it is written:
Therefore, I will praise you among the Gentiles
and sing praises to your name.

Friends today think about what the apostle Paul is saying here in Romans.  We are to be in harmony with one accord as one voice. One. As a church we are called to be one and yet we love in a day with thousands of Christian denominations. Is that one friends? No. That's thousands of groups that focus more on what divides them than what they have in common. Friends so much of our faith is a mystery but the church is not. It's not the invisible church. The church is real and tangible and friends Christ started one church. Let's be one, let's focus on what we have in common. Let's let go of heretical beliefs and sacrice our pride and pursue the truth.  Let go of what you believe they sounds good but isn't true. Do this by endurance and encouragement of the scriptures as Paul writes about. 

Praying for you friends and petitioning God to bring us to be one church as the bible talks about where we can glorify God together

<3

Anita 

FOR WITH GOD NOTHING WILL BE IMPOSSIBLE.

For advent day 7: Luke 1:34-37 was what we read tonight as we lit our candle for advent. Each night we read a little snippet of the Christmas story.


34 And Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I have no husband?” 35 And the angel said to her,

“The Holy Spirit will come upon you,
and the power of the Most High will overshadow you;
therefore the child to be born will be called holy,
the Son of God.

36 And behold, your kinswoman Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son; and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. 37 For with God nothing will be impossible.”

Can you imagine what it felt like to be Mary? Her first statement "I have no husband!!" So many sweet women I know are still praying for their husband. They are waiting patiently for the man God will send them and there are several women I know who have met and gotten engaged to the man they want to marry but are still waiting. Mary was betrothed at this point but not her clarity: I have no husband. Ladies no that no matter how close your relationship is with a guy until you are before God taking a vow anything can happen. An angel might not appear saying your going to bear the Son of God, but not only is it a time of waiting: life advent singleness, dating, engagement: these are all beautiful and purposeful seasons of preparation. Seasons of prayer. Seasons of pursuing God in a unique way and watching Him move. In each of these seasons there is no room for settling. No room for fantasy. No need for what you hope someone will be but rather the waiting for the one who IS the guy who will treat you like a treasure. These seasons are seasons of self evaluation. Marriage is a gift from God but a gift to not be taken lightly. It is a lifetime commitment, a covenant with God, a reflection of Christ loving the church and that reflection has been destroyed in so many ways that we can't afford to let it be cracked anymore. 

But for Mary, her season was altered by an angel appearing and giving her the promise that she would birth the Son of Man, the Word of God, the redeemer, the lamb, the Christ. She's told: BTW Elizabeth is 6 months pregnant...you know the one who is well past menopause and has no chance of getting pregnant? And then the words from the angel as if to answer Mary's silent thought of "what in the world? am I dreaming?" 

FOR WITH GOD NOTHING WILL BE IMPOSSIBLE. 

nothing. 

Friends do you believe that? Do you believe that miracles happen and that nothing is impossible?

My heart has been touched by so many that have seemingly impossible circumstances and my prayer for them is the impossible. I believe God can do it if it is His will in His perfect timing. But I also know if He doesn't He has a purpose and a reason that is much more than I can see. I need this reminder in my daily life when I feel like I don't know what I'm doing, or where I am should be. I have to remind myself to trust what makes no sense.

Friends remember that with God nothing is impossible no matter how crazy it may seem. No matter how unprepared you feel. God will work everything out all you have to have is faith. 

<3

Anita

Therefore we must watch and pray lest time pass idly.

This post is a few hours late... 9 hours 37 minutes if we were actually to say it's advent day 6. I apologize.

Yesterday was a busy day of work. After work I rushed home to meet my husband, change and go to our church's annual christmas party. As we just started attending this church it was our first party with them but friends it was such a blessing.

The people were immensely kind. We sat with a couple we met the other night at a bible study, and another couple who we had not yet met. We were welcomed by everyone, dinner was great, and each table was to bring an appetizer. I brought a stuffed baguette I'll share the recipe at the bottom and give credit where credit is due. It's always nice when everyone likes what you bring. The conversation never dulled. They asked about my work and what I find most challenging. They met me where I was and offered to keep me in their prayers.  Both couples were immensely friendly and kept using phrases like "oh you should definitely meet so and so you were definitely get along." The music director and operations manager of the church spent a good deal of time talk to us and if you know us you know we were talking about theology and doctrine. It's nice to have people who thats what they want to talk about. I'm still reading Imitation of Christ but friends he makes a great point about talking.

Imitation of Christ: The Tenth Chapter

Avoiding Idle Talk

SHUN the gossip of men as much as possible, for discussion of worldly affairs, even though sincere, is a great distraction inasmuch as we are quickly ensnared and captivated by vanity.

"Many a time I wish that I had held my peace and had not associated with men. Why, indeed, do we converse and gossip among ourselves when we so seldom part without a troubled conscience? We do so because we seek comfort from one another’s conversation and wish to ease the mind wearied by diverse thoughts. Hence, we talk and think quite fondly of things we like very much or of things we dislike intensely. But, sad to say, we often talk vainly and to no purpose; for this external pleasure effectively bars inward and divine consolation.

Therefore we must watch and pray lest time pass idly.

When the right and opportune moment comes for speaking, say something that will edify.

Bad habits and indifference to spiritual progress do much to remove the guard from the tongue. Devout conversation on spiritual matters, on the contrary, is a great aid to spiritual progress, especially when persons of the same mind and spirit associate together in God."

Thomas Akempis reminds us that our words have an affect and that our conversation matters. He reminds us to edify one another and that talk of spiritual matters helps us to grow. Last night our conversations definitely helped me grow. 

We stayed late talking with a couple about medicine and politics and it was great to hear people concerned about the direction of our country, the poor, the homeless, the uneducated. It was great to hear people who wanted to live out their own walk with God as dramatically as they could. What an example friends you can be in how you live your life. Even in a short meeting or conversation you can shine the light of Christ without evening realizing it. That light comes from the devout personal commitment to a pursuit of a relationship with God. Friends - Seize the Day. Don't put off the time with God because you are "busy" when God never intends for you to be too busy for Him. 

During this advent season friends make the time to spend time with the Lord. However that looks for you spend the time. When we commune with our God it changes our hearts and that can change the world.  In this (well it was this) 6th day advent remember the God who loves you so much more than anyone else you know. Heed the words of Akempis : Therefore we must watch and pray lest time pass idly.

<3

People matter. Love them.

Today I felt like I couldn't do anything. To say work was a challenge is an understatement. I was humbled all day by what I did not and found help hard to come by. My allergies were bothering me, my patients were difficult both in personality and in medical problems and all the while I was praying. Praying God would help me to be His light. Praying I could make it to the end. Praying for guidance and patience and understanding. And when I was able to shut the computer after the day it was a relief to know He got me through. My job at first was seemingly on the easy side and now it's a moment by moment challenge but I know I am being trained and challenged for a purpose and I know that I'm getting a wonderful education.  

What I hold on to today are the patience that thanked me with a genuine gratitude. It's something I cherish dearly as I do my best to give each patient everything I can and to have their appreciation in not required but reminds me God is with me . It's the man who tells me he has a contract with God to live 200 years and thanks me for doing t part to help. It's the guy who tells me he would raher lose a year than eat vegetables or give up his biscuits and gravy. It's the woman who has a list she's had written out who is patient while I go over each with care and is patient when I say " I don't know but let me go ask someone who does". These moments touch my heart. These moments show me a beauty in people and remind me I'm treating someone's dad, grandmother, daughter, friend... Not just a chart. And in the world of managed care it's easy to feel like it's all about the chart. So blessed for these reminders and continuing to pray during this advent season for encouragement and help. For a renewed and stronger relationship with God and encouragement they He is not finished with me yet. Friends thanks for your support. Know that I'm praying for you as well. I encourage you to find the beauty of each person you meet as we are each made by the creator and are image bearers of God. Some of us reflect more clearly than others but we are all the makers handy work. In this season remember people not things are important and spend your time and talent loving people. Love them like Christ and I promise the return of how God shapes your heart for Him is amazing. Praying for you. 

Anita 

Wake Up.

Hello Friends,
Hope you are growing in this season of Advent. Each night my husband and I read a little part of the story and light a candle. Last night we read Luke 1:14-17

14 He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, 15 for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even before he is born. 16 He will bring back many of the people of Israel to the Lord their God.17 And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the parents to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”

He in this passage refers to John who has just been promised to Elisabeth and Zacharia. A beautiful story of patience and waiting. John was to make way for the Lord. He was to be the one to go before the one who would save. He was to make known the gospel while Christ was on earth and that calling was put on his life before he was even born. Friends just as he had a calling before his birth: so you and I do to. We too are called to make way for the Lord. We too are called to prepare the people. We too are to help turn the hearts of those who don't believe but friends we are do so in all love and humility. In all kindness and truth. Never be ashamed to give the reason for your joy but friends don't stand on a street corner holding up signs filled with hate. Signs that claim God hates this person or that one. God is Love. God is perfect. God hates sin but he does not hate the sinner. He loves the sinner so much that he sent His only son to die for the sinner. That's not hate that is an incredible love. A love that can't be measured and a love we are to reflect and share with those we meet. 

Friends I write this as one who fails you daily. I fail to have the love and compassion I need to have. I feel to be the kindness that lights up the world. I fail to be salt and light in this world daily. And each day my heart is heavy with how much more I could have shown the light of Christ. How much more I could have showed someone the love Christ would show them. It's that light I fail to shine that keeps people from ever seeing me as different and that lack of difference is the vary thing that makes the world feel the church is asleep. 

Friends. Wake up. 

Church. Wake up. 

Let's not forget that all is for not without God. 

To live is Christ.

To die is gain. 

Friends do you live like that? Everyday? I don't and that vary reality brings me to a heart of repentance in this season. That very reality shows me that I become complacent about the love God has for me but THANK GOD He never becomes complacent about His love for me. So thankful for a God that never forgets me, never forsakes me, never leaves me, never becomes absent minded about me. 

Praying for you friends. Hope all is well. Don't discourage if you too fail. Use this season to pray for God to open your heart and eyes and remind you each day to be His ambassador in the world. 

<3

Blessings of Love, Kindness and Encouragement

Advent day 3-

Today has been a blessing of a day. After yesterday it's as though God spent the day reminding me He is in control. My morning was quiet calm and collected returning patient calls and working on charts and interpreting labs and listening to the news.  My afternoon was busier with the challenges of seeing patients. The difficulty of trying to stay on time, the praying for patience and grace for the patient who takes out their frustration on you, and the challenge of managing a multitude of issues in a short amount of time. But it was perfectly manageable and I had help. God provided in each moment.

Even when I had a run in with the fax machine trying to use my lunch break to work out applications for loan repayment situations and my kind nurse shared with the secret to sending. On this particular machine don't press 9. That application is important and this was just the best help I could have gotten.

I get home to a box outside and a husband who has made dinner. A beautiful sight as dinner again sounded like a foreign word and I was willing to settle for a granola bar and go to bed. But dinner was great and the box had a surprise and my husband had good news and a skype date with a best friend with a great gift that traveled from canada to california to me. A gift I'd hoped for and so grateful.
Then a great gift of a phone date with another best friend.

Surrounded by love today and I needed it. I needed the sweet kindness and encouragement. I needed the gift. I needed the love.

and you know friends--  I don't just need love and encouragement today: I need it everyday. Just today I was aware of it and I am so thankful for it.

Even my dog has been extra sweet today.

Something amazing friends is that God is always there giving love and encouragement we only need to turn and notice. Take time to notice His encouragement to you in the form of someone else's kindness, or in a beautiful day, or in a special blessing. Don't be confused though--> God is loving you and encouraging you even when the day is ugly, you don't feel blessed and no one is kind.

Friends praying for love and encouragement for you. Praying for this advent season to touch your heart and grow you closer to Him. Use these days  as a jump start to your journey.

<3
Anita

Let Advent Be A Journey Home.

Hello Friends,
Yesterday was on the hectic side and while I had full intention to blog time got away from me. Today has been a hectic one as well but its a day I need to write. Its a day that I know writing will be good for my soul.
With the celebration of advent we know that our hearts are in preparation. Preparation to remember the birth of our savior. Preparation to say goodbye to 2013 and hello to 2014. Preparation for the now, and the future. Preparing our lives not just for a holiday but inviting God in to move and work and grow us. 

And in this season of my life I need that growth. I need that time. I need that preparation. 

I don't know what it is like to be God. To patiently listen and care and consider each prayer and petition and praise given by all of mankind. I can tell you I'm glad He's God and I'm not. I had a schedule full of complicated patients today in 20 minute time slots with more than I could address in that time. I worked hard to be thorough and efficient and it's hard to do both at the same time. Too fast and you miss something. Too slow and you get off task. So you go in for the day like you are going in for battle. You take it one patient at a time and start each one with the same stamina that you did the last. You then check, and recheck their charts at the end of the day to sign them off and start again. The number I saw today was nothing to brag about but the number of issues I addressed in one day was more than I care to share. With each patient I took a deep breath and remembered that I'm the only provider they will see today and they deserve my best. My best is what I gave and that was tiring but I work like I'm working for the Lord not for man. 

In the busy nature of today and yesterday it's a challenge to take care of the other things that need to be considered. Dinner sounds like a word out of some eastern village to me today. You might as well have said WEHUIWN. A shower sounds like a dream and I am pretty sure my pillow has been calling out my name louder and louder with each passing second.  But man have I learned some things in the last two days.
I've learned so many more medical facts/drugs/treatments. Honestly I know significantly more this evening than I did this morning when I left.

I learned to ask for help and wave the white flag.
I'm learning to submit to honestly. To share exactly how I'm feeling

And the words I read yesterday I'm learning more from.
I'm reading Immitation of Christ by Thomas Akempis.
The Twelth Chapter- The value of Adversity
"It is good for us to have trials and troubles at times, for they often remind us that we are on probation and ought not to hope in any worldly thing. It is good for us sometimes to suffer contradiction, to be misjudged by men even though we do well and mean well. These things help us to be humble and shield us from vainglory. When to all outward appearances men give us no credit, when they do not think well of us, then we are more inclined to seek God Who sees our hearts. Therefore, a man ought to root himself so firmly in God that he will not need the consolations of men.When a man of good will is afflicted, tempted, and tormented by evil thoughts, he realizes clearly that his greatest need is God, without Whom he can do no good. Saddened by his miseries and sufferings, he laments and prays. He wearies of living longer and wishes for death that he might be dissolved and be with Christ. Then he understands fully that perfect security and complete peace cannot be found on earth."

Friends no matter how hard the day- only Christ can satisfy. And isn't this the essence of Advent? The very definition of which is :The coming or arrival, especially of something extremely important. The arrival of the spirit infiltrating new parts of our hearts and souls each day thats the essence of advent. The turning back from sin to God --> thats a coming home. 

Friends root yourself in God in a deep way. Use this season of advent not for focus on trimming trees and buying presents and running to parties but as a season of hope, a season of reflection, a season of prioritizing whats really important and spending time with God. Friends use this time to fast. Use this time to surround yourself with love from God no matter if its a season of joy or sadness for you. He is the only one who will satisfy. He is the only one who will be enough. He is the only one that can give peace and security. 

In this season let Advent be a journey home. Let it renew you. Let it give you peace. Let it be a beginning of a year and not the end. 

I'm praying for you. Let me know how I can be praying specifically in this season for you. 

<3