A Screwtape For Those Considering Children

My affectionate Wormwood,

Did you hear what your charges were discussing? Reproducing! We can't let them think of doing such a thing.  They will inevitably want to share the enemy with their progeny as they seem to want to talk about him with everyone and their children will be no different. Raising children in their home ... of course the kids are bound to see and hear all the lies that these people spread. You need to get a good lead and I'm going to give you a few tips.

First, before they even make an attempt grip them with fear. If they aren't grasping that babies are a burden and nothing but trouble then remind them that with a baby they will never get to do anything they want to do. Make their outside activities, trips and fun seem so enticing that they won't want to give it up. Plant in her that her only worth is what she can do in a job outside the home and continue to let culture and the media tell her that motherhood is the most narrow and mindless thing she could do.  The enemy will try and teach them that motherhood is the greatest of vocations but don't let her believe that. Surround her with mothers who tell her that they "want their life back" so she can hear their experience. She will view this as trustworthy

If they do have children already, let them see more would be burdensome. Let the husband be afraid that he can't provide for another mouth to feed and don't let him think about sacrificing anything for his family. That we can't fight against once he decides to do it so please be careful.  Keep their current kids whining, and let them them think that the newborn will come out at this stage too. If the kids are older let them think the new baby would be too far apart and inevitably make their lives difficult. If you have to stress them that they won't be able to give enough love to the new baby and their current children as they are people that actually want to love their children this will make them think twice.  We have done a lot of work to embed birth control and abortion as mainstays. It's been tough but we have been successful. We have tricked them to thinking that contraception is safe and by and large they don't believe it when they hear that it allows a child to be conceived but not survive. They even believe that abortion is more about a woman's right to choose than the rights of her child. Amazing, I know.  If you can get her to take contraception, great-- but really push sterilization. Let her think fertility is a disease and you will easily sway her away from children.

If that doesn't work which is may not because if they are talking about children they have the strange idea that a baby would be a blessing, do whatever you can to make them busy. On the days they could actually conceive make sure they are too tired or not home or doing something. If they are home get a friend to call for dinner, have them think about errands they need to run. If that doesn't work attack their marriage. Let him say something incentive so she won't want to be intimate. If that doesn't work which it may not since they are close, let the wife think that her husband is no longer her ally or friend. This is tough but if you are diligent you can do it.  When they are too busy  or tired to be intimate let her think that he allows this because he doesn't really want kids. Plant seeds of deception. She won't want to push him or force him and so she will abandon the idea if you can turn her head.

If you can't distract them or separate them then you need to work fiercely to remind her that getting a perfect baby isn't easy and can involve a lot of sadness and pain for her. Remind her of all her friends who deal with infertility or miscarriage. Convince her because she cares about babies that this will inevitably happen to her and remind her of this with ever negative pregnancy test. Overwhelm her with fear so you can stress her body and make it harder to conceive.  If she struggles with infertility or a miscarriage convince her it's better not to try. Let her confuse mercy with fear and this will push her to not put herself and her husband through the pain that their attempts at having a baby could bring. Let her forget what true mercy and grace is and whatever you do don't let her remember that the enemy can work outside of time, diseases or circumstances. Let her think she is alone for if she asks from the enemy she will receive. Let the husband feel as though he can't possibly say anything right in these circumstances and let him say nothing. This will help her to feel alone and that's right where we are most successful.

Should you fail completely at least we will have another charge and you can even use these children to distract these two from the enemy and from each other.  Be on guard as this is a last resort.

Your Malevolent Uncle,

Screwtape

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The original Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis depict an older demon writing to a younger demon. It's a thought provoking and enjoyable read and I thought creating one would be fun. Just for clarification babies are precious, contraception does cause abortion, and babies are never a burden. For the mommies struggling with miscarriage, infertility, or simply the challenges of a TTC journey know that my heart and prayers are with you. While I kept the post concise I know there are many more things I could have touched on here and know that the most important thing I hope to share is not to lose hope. Our God is able to do much more than we can imagine. <3

-Anita

Dear Mommies and Future Mommies:

I am so blessed to have so many lovely people around me pregnant. It seems like the phase of life I'm in it's rare that there is a week where no one has announced an engagement or a baby. It's incredible to see the mommies around me, some who are first time moms others who have a few and are growing their family. Some even are moms who are praying for more, overcoming miscarriage, challenged by health issues or struggling with being on the same page as a spouse. Some are trying to work out the finances or dealing with various struggles.  Some are praying for a baby and waiting.

For me I'm not a mother to a human being and I never have been. I've never had the wonder or shock of two lines on pregnancy test, so I've never been met with the excitement or fear that comes with that. I've never lost a baby to miscarriage, I've never had to decide life. I've never tried to conceive a child so I haven't been met with the anticipation and the feeling of a negative tests that I was hoping would be positive.   So essentially I have no form of expertise on the subject of motherhood unless you need tips on mothering a dog, in which case I've got plenty.   The roller coaster of our life hasn't brought us to a season of these things just yet but has brought us to a season of NFP and baby stickers and figuring out Billings vs. Creighton model and maybe I'll do a post one day about how that all works but for now just know that we don't know but He does.

But Mommies, know that my heart is with you. As I dream and hope that one day God will open the door and timing to motherhood for me,  I know we can all relate to one thing: the unknown. No matter what road your walking whether its TTC, TTA, TTW, or currently pregnant - none of us know what tomorrow with hold. We literally have no control over conception, our ability to carry a pregnancy or not or our ability to safely birth a baby into the world. It's the lack of control that for so many is so challenging and I'll even admit at times the details for us on when to think about trying for a baby or what we hope for that child have kept me up at night. Prayerful discernment is where I am at this moment. Praying for God to prepare me for whatever His plan is and prayer for our marriage that we can grow in holiness through whatever His will is.

It's all been advised but many women in my life:

"your doing the right thing finishing school and getting an education first."
"there's never a perfect time just go for it."
"enjoy your marriage wait for babies."
"if you plan for it will never happen."

But I know the One who has the plan.
I know the one who knits together life.
I know the Great I am. I know the King. I know the Maker and Giver.

So while I have NO IDEA what He has planned... I know what He's put on my heart which is the hundreds and thousands of other mommies that I can pray for in this season of life.  I can pray for the sweet women who welcomed baby number 8 on the day she lost her husband. I can pray for those I know that have been waiting for years for God to give them a baby. I can pray for those who wait for the arrival of their baby and pray for safe delivery. I can pray for those who are mommies to children who may be both healthy and unhealthy and for the challenges and gifts each child can bring.

 I can pray for the children I hope to have: their lives and that God would start growing their faith even now before they have even been conceived. I pray that He will grow me in the ways He needs to so that I could be a mother that parents with holiness. Holy families raise holy children.  I know motherhood will be the most important thing outside of being a wife that I ever do and I'm excited to see what that looks like someday.

You see friends the unknown isn't easy, in some ways I think it's harder than what's known. For my life though, it's the seasons of unknown that have helped me grow to rely on Him for He's never forsaken me.

Mommies. Count it all joy. The path of motherhood is one of the biggest paths of unknowns and one
of the paths of greatest reward. Steward your gift of motherhood to the best of your ability. The days might be hard in many ways but joy comes in the morning. No matter the challenge or the day, no matter the good news or the hard news He can do more than we ask or imagine. Nothing is impossible and nothing is out of His care so bring it all to Him. All the hurt, all the impatience, all the joy and laughter, all the pain and fear. Drop it at the alter. Drop it at the foot of the cross. Drop it at the feet of Jesus.

Even if you end up looking like Hannah who cried so hard the priest thought she was drunk thats ok. Drop it.

1 Samuel 1:10-19

In her bitterness she prayed to the LORD, weeping freely,11and made this vow: “O LORD of hosts, if you look with pity on the hardship of your servant, if you remember me and do not forget me, if you give your handmaid a male child, I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life. No razor shall ever touch his head.”12 As she continued praying before the LORD, Eli watched her mouth,13for Hannah was praying silently; though her lips were moving, her voice could not be heard. Eli, thinking she was drunk,14said to her, “How long will you make a drunken spectacle of yourself? Sober up from your wine!”15“No, my lord!” Hannah answered. “I am an unhappy woman. I have had neither wine nor liquor; I was only pouring out my heart to the LORD.16 Do not think your servant a worthless woman; my prayer has been prompted by my deep sorrow and misery.”17Eli said, “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have requested.”18She replied, “Let your servant find favor in your eyes,” and left. She went to her quarters, ate and drank with her husband, and no longer appeared downhearted.19 Early the next morning they worshiped before the LORD, and then returned to their home in Ramah. When they returned Elkanah had intercourse with his wife Hannah, and the LORD remembered her.

Hannah brought it all. Her bitterness. Her weeping. Her misery. And most of all she wanted a Son to give to the Lord. In verse 18 she "no longer appeared downhearted." She left it all there in the temple knowing He sees and hears. It doesn't say how long Hannah was barren but earlier in the passage it says "year after year"  so we know that her journey wasn't short.  Like Hannah, I hope to leave everything I have at the feet of Jesus trusting that His timing is perfect and His will is best.

For Hannah- God answered her prayer which you can see through 1 Samuel 1 and 2. But what not only stands out to me is that He answered and she praised Him but He gave her more than she asked for. She asked for a son and 1 Samuel 2:21 says "The LORD favored Hannah so that she conceived and gave birth to three more sons and two daughters, while young Samuel grew up in the service of the LORD."  She asked for 1 son and got 4 sons and 2 daughters.  He alone knows what we need and the timing for what we need. He's never early or late. So on the days when the desires of my heart for children seem weighty I'll count it all joy and choose to trust Him.

<3

(note : TTC= Trying to Conceive TTA= Trying to Avoid Pregnancy TTW= trying to whatever)

No matter where you are trust Him.