I WILL FOLLOW

Friends,
Chris Tomlin did a song: "I Will Follow"

"Where you go I'll go. Where you stay I'll stay. When you move I'll move. I will follow you"
These words I've sung countless times and it hit me today in the midst of a hectic day: Do I mean them? Do you?

I can think back over my life and think of lots of things I didn't plan on, didn't want and yet God worked on me, my heart and through various circumstances brought me to where I am.

I didn't want to finish my senior year of high school- I wanted to start college a year early. Had I not done that I wouldn't have earned a $20,000 scholarship and been named a Horatio Alger National Scholar. I wouldn't have gone to Washington on a trip that changed my life and I wouldn't have met some of the great people I met my freshmen year at FAU Honors.

I wanted to be a Physician Assistant starting my senior year of high school and yet during my senior year of college I took a detour to possibly get my PhD at FAU. A spur of the moment trip to Montreal showed me that isn't where God wanted me and I came back unsure of what was going to happen. A phone call changed everything and Orlando FL would become my home for 27 months. It isn't where I wanted to be but had I not gone there I wouldn't have met my husband.

The night I met Paul was at a concert I didn't want to go to. In fact the pew I sat in was because I didn't want to sit in a few other ones. If I hadn't gone I wouldn't be sitting next to my hubby as I write this.

At one point during our getting to know each other I tried to pray Paul out of my life. I was certain he would be a distraction from God and from school and so I tried to pray him away. The next day at church the message was "Don't Pray People Out of Your Life." Needless to say... He's my husband.

I didn't want to move but here I am in a different job than I moved for and I enjoy it even on the crazy days.  The timing for the changes was not my timing and honestly it has been amazing.

Of course the biggest things becoming Catholic was the last thing I wanted to be but when God called me to the church despite my biggest attempts I couldn't deny where He was leading me. It was honestly the last thing I wanted but now that I have come home to the Catholic church I know this was His plan and not mine. God really has helped me grow so much through my journey.

I don't know what else God has planned but I can tell you if you see anything in this litany is that I clearly and not the best judge of where I should be on the first go but where He leads I will follow.  Even when He leads me to the hard places, even on the long days.

Friends will you follow Him? Where He goes? Where He stays? When He moves?
I will follow. Will you?
Let's follow Him together <3

Blessings of Love, Kindness and Encouragement

Advent day 3-

Today has been a blessing of a day. After yesterday it's as though God spent the day reminding me He is in control. My morning was quiet calm and collected returning patient calls and working on charts and interpreting labs and listening to the news.  My afternoon was busier with the challenges of seeing patients. The difficulty of trying to stay on time, the praying for patience and grace for the patient who takes out their frustration on you, and the challenge of managing a multitude of issues in a short amount of time. But it was perfectly manageable and I had help. God provided in each moment.

Even when I had a run in with the fax machine trying to use my lunch break to work out applications for loan repayment situations and my kind nurse shared with the secret to sending. On this particular machine don't press 9. That application is important and this was just the best help I could have gotten.

I get home to a box outside and a husband who has made dinner. A beautiful sight as dinner again sounded like a foreign word and I was willing to settle for a granola bar and go to bed. But dinner was great and the box had a surprise and my husband had good news and a skype date with a best friend with a great gift that traveled from canada to california to me. A gift I'd hoped for and so grateful.
Then a great gift of a phone date with another best friend.

Surrounded by love today and I needed it. I needed the sweet kindness and encouragement. I needed the gift. I needed the love.

and you know friends--  I don't just need love and encouragement today: I need it everyday. Just today I was aware of it and I am so thankful for it.

Even my dog has been extra sweet today.

Something amazing friends is that God is always there giving love and encouragement we only need to turn and notice. Take time to notice His encouragement to you in the form of someone else's kindness, or in a beautiful day, or in a special blessing. Don't be confused though--> God is loving you and encouraging you even when the day is ugly, you don't feel blessed and no one is kind.

Friends praying for love and encouragement for you. Praying for this advent season to touch your heart and grow you closer to Him. Use these days  as a jump start to your journey.

<3
Anita

Let Advent Be A Journey Home.

Hello Friends,
Yesterday was on the hectic side and while I had full intention to blog time got away from me. Today has been a hectic one as well but its a day I need to write. Its a day that I know writing will be good for my soul.
With the celebration of advent we know that our hearts are in preparation. Preparation to remember the birth of our savior. Preparation to say goodbye to 2013 and hello to 2014. Preparation for the now, and the future. Preparing our lives not just for a holiday but inviting God in to move and work and grow us. 

And in this season of my life I need that growth. I need that time. I need that preparation. 

I don't know what it is like to be God. To patiently listen and care and consider each prayer and petition and praise given by all of mankind. I can tell you I'm glad He's God and I'm not. I had a schedule full of complicated patients today in 20 minute time slots with more than I could address in that time. I worked hard to be thorough and efficient and it's hard to do both at the same time. Too fast and you miss something. Too slow and you get off task. So you go in for the day like you are going in for battle. You take it one patient at a time and start each one with the same stamina that you did the last. You then check, and recheck their charts at the end of the day to sign them off and start again. The number I saw today was nothing to brag about but the number of issues I addressed in one day was more than I care to share. With each patient I took a deep breath and remembered that I'm the only provider they will see today and they deserve my best. My best is what I gave and that was tiring but I work like I'm working for the Lord not for man. 

In the busy nature of today and yesterday it's a challenge to take care of the other things that need to be considered. Dinner sounds like a word out of some eastern village to me today. You might as well have said WEHUIWN. A shower sounds like a dream and I am pretty sure my pillow has been calling out my name louder and louder with each passing second.  But man have I learned some things in the last two days.
I've learned so many more medical facts/drugs/treatments. Honestly I know significantly more this evening than I did this morning when I left.

I learned to ask for help and wave the white flag.
I'm learning to submit to honestly. To share exactly how I'm feeling

And the words I read yesterday I'm learning more from.
I'm reading Immitation of Christ by Thomas Akempis.
The Twelth Chapter- The value of Adversity
"It is good for us to have trials and troubles at times, for they often remind us that we are on probation and ought not to hope in any worldly thing. It is good for us sometimes to suffer contradiction, to be misjudged by men even though we do well and mean well. These things help us to be humble and shield us from vainglory. When to all outward appearances men give us no credit, when they do not think well of us, then we are more inclined to seek God Who sees our hearts. Therefore, a man ought to root himself so firmly in God that he will not need the consolations of men.When a man of good will is afflicted, tempted, and tormented by evil thoughts, he realizes clearly that his greatest need is God, without Whom he can do no good. Saddened by his miseries and sufferings, he laments and prays. He wearies of living longer and wishes for death that he might be dissolved and be with Christ. Then he understands fully that perfect security and complete peace cannot be found on earth."

Friends no matter how hard the day- only Christ can satisfy. And isn't this the essence of Advent? The very definition of which is :The coming or arrival, especially of something extremely important. The arrival of the spirit infiltrating new parts of our hearts and souls each day thats the essence of advent. The turning back from sin to God --> thats a coming home. 

Friends root yourself in God in a deep way. Use this season of advent not for focus on trimming trees and buying presents and running to parties but as a season of hope, a season of reflection, a season of prioritizing whats really important and spending time with God. Friends use this time to fast. Use this time to surround yourself with love from God no matter if its a season of joy or sadness for you. He is the only one who will satisfy. He is the only one who will be enough. He is the only one that can give peace and security. 

In this season let Advent be a journey home. Let it renew you. Let it give you peace. Let it be a beginning of a year and not the end. 

I'm praying for you. Let me know how I can be praying specifically in this season for you. 

<3