Loved By God

Friends,
Do you know that you are loved? Can you open your mind to the possibility that the God of the universe, the one who created everything loves you? I had the privilege of seeing Sister Miriam James Heidland, S.O.L.T speak at a Women's Conference a few weeks ago.  Honestly, she shared a heart and love for God that was beautiful. She reminded me of something that perhaps is easy to forget at times: God loves us. You see His love isn't generalized. He does just love "everyone" as a whole but not specifically. His love is tender, it's personal, it's unique for each and every person on earth and that's amazing. He loves because that is His nature: God is Love.  Couple that with being all knowing and for me these truths are amazing. He patiently listens to each of us as we share our needs, whether as a silent whisper of the heart or shouts at heaven.   Such truth, if you really stop and think about it, can seem impossible. Someone who loves you so greatly, knowing everything about you does exist.

There are times in my life I've felt far from that kind of love, and if I'm honest the times I felt farthest are because I moved myself. I set up definitions in my mind as to when God could love me or not based on when I felt lovable or lovely. I thought I was lovely and lovable if I could achieve, or perform. When I had no "big" sins then I was lovable, or so I thought. My view of love was based in my experience of love taught to me, but my view was broken. His love has never failed me.

I've learned that its not about big sins or little sins --I'm sinful. period. I'm not worthy but He loves me in a perfect and unwavering way. He cares for me when I don't care for myself, He loves me when I fail to perform, His mercy is amazing. He calls me beloved. He calls me beautiful.  He calls me blessed. He calls me to Him so tenderly and reminds my heart that there is no place outside of Him that I can be loved like that. My husband gives me a beautiful demonstration to help me understand how big this love is with how selflessly He loves me. It helps but is only a glimmer of the truth of what I'm describing.

Sister Miriam and I 

Sister Miriam shared parts of her story in which she dealt with life circumstances that affected her ability to see love as God loves. I won't share her story, because it's not mine it's hers, but thankfully she's shared it in her book: Loved As I Am. I read it and honestly I'll tell you it's great. It's a beautiful story where she shares honestly about the parts of her life that were challenging where she didn't feel lovely and used all sorts of things to fill the gap. She had circumstances that produced challenges and she honestly shared the struggles and the triumphs. She shares how Our Lord fought for her when she didn't feel loved and He loved her just as she was. It's His love that makes her beautiful, and friends I'll tell you: she's gorgeous. The joy and love that overflows her heart is inspiring and if you ever get a chance to listen to her I recommend it.  The book covers the human person and God's love. Through small in size, it delivers a big dose of truth broken down into small bite size pieces.  She does that when she speaks as well. She's very eloquent and yet is able to explain complex things simply. She shows a true knowledge that she conveys well.  She is inspiring. She reminds you that no matter your problem, addiction, hang up or break down that there is hope.  She reminds us we can all be holy. No matter how far you stray God will never cease to welcome you with open arms.   She proclaimed at the conference I went to "I'm a broken lady who's seriously loved by God." She's tasted and seen that the Lord is good and invites you to do the same. She told a room full of women "God is always after your heart" and she's absolutely right. It's nice to hear it. To be reminded. He's pursuing me all the time and it's lovely to know that.  Friends. He's pursing you too.


Friends I know that God loves you. Remember as Pope Saint John Paul II said " We are not the sum of our weaknesses and failure; we are the sum of the Fathers love for us. " As I type those words it speaks volumes to my heart in a week that I've had weaknesses and failures galore. I know it's God teaching me, growing me and leading me to grow in humility and trust in Him. I am so thankful for His love even on my worst days and it's knowing He loves me that makes everything else so amazing.  You remember friend. God loves you more than you could ever imagine. You are His beloved. <3

For more posts like this one feel free to subscribe to updates! Let me know if you have any requests for posts. I am so thankful to each of you who read my posts and for the many who have shared them, I can't thank you enough. <3
You can follow Sister Miriam on Twitter @onegroovynun  and there are several youtube videos where you can listen to her.
For my conversion story click here 

Who says it has to be itsy bitsy?- Jessica Rey

There is a video floating around the internet on the Evolution of the Bikini. Many videos float around the internet but I have to tell you I am often skeptic to click and watch whatever "everyone" is posting. However, after ignoring it, a friend encouraged me to watch this video:

What Jessica Rey talks about here is how the bikini evolved, it's initial impact and what has now evolved from the bikini today. She touches on the beautiful topic of modesty, and is using her talents to afford women more choices for modest bikinis in her bathing suit line. http://www.reyswimwear.com/
Personally I can't wait to order one of these swim suits and encourage you to support her business as well. 

I can remember back to my teen years of watching MTV, and there was an episode where they were coving the MTV summer beach bash speaking about bathing suits and telling everyone that when it comes to swimwear : Less is more. As a fair skinned, lanky teen who was awkward- the idea of wearing strings for a bathing suit made me completely uncomfortable. I can't tell you how many times I've heard a discussion about clothing being too skimpy or revealing for one person's taste and the person desiring to wear the clothing retorts "It covers more than a bathing suit." 

While I understand that some people enjoy showing off their lady bits on the beach, perhaps listening to Jessica Rey and her report of Princeton Universities findings on how men view women in small amounts of clothing should make the ladies of the world really do a double take. 

When I was single I came to a place where I realized that how men talked to me or treated me was largely dependent on what I wore. In college I wore more clothes on the immodest side of things. I grew up in south Florida, and the beach was in walking distance from my university making shorts, tank tops and flip flops a staple in my wardrobe. The type of men that I would attract seemed to be guys who were more interested in my body than my heart. As I realized this, I decided I wanted to attract my husband my heart, because when I'm 80 and wrinkled and I've had 5 kids I am not going to look like I do now, and I wanted my future husband to still love me. So, I started to coverup. I found that the type of men I attracted then were more polite and patient. When I said I was waiting for my husband they weren't scared off, and honestly I think it's because when I was dressing in a revealing way, I was saying something with my attire, and saying I wanted a man to love and treasure me with my mouth. I was sending a mixed message. 

I was blessed to meet my husband, because if you ask him he will tell you that when we first met, and while we were dating, he couldn't tell you what curves my body had. He was pursuing me because he saw something more than outside appearance: he saw me, he saw my heart. 

1 Peter 3:1-4 says Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

Now I've heard countless women read this verse and think: I'm supposed to wear a potato sac, not brush my hair, and not accept a diamond ring. No. What I believe it is saying here is don't focus so intently on the external appearance, because while you might have the perfect outfit if you don't have a gentle and loving and kind spirit, than clothes and jewels and hairstyles won't change that. What Peter is writing about is character. He is telling women to be beautiful not just from the inside, but from the outside as well. He is sharing the very sentiment of God, who tells us He knows the number of hairs on our heads, He has our name written on His hand and He knows our heart and intentions. Peter is reminding wives in particular but truly all women that makeup washes away, clothes wrinkle and fray, but joy can't be hidden. 

"We need to teach girls that modesty isn't about covering up our bodies because they're bad. Modesty isn't about hiding ourselves; it's about revealing our dignity." -Jessica Rey

Ladies, true beauty is not only skin deep. True beauty is in a heart after God. So don't break out the potato sacs and moo moos, but remember that you send a message with your clothing and you can make that message say whatever you want. Why not let it say more? 

In this post I'm not going to go into the other facets for modesty: the importance of not tempting men, the importance of knowing your body is a temple for the Lord, ect. I wanted to just cover the idea of beauty. If you would like me to write more on these other topics, or on something else feel free to comment and let me know. 

Friends: what makes you feel beautiful? Let me know 

xox

Anita