My affectionate Wormwood,
Did you hear what your charges were discussing? Reproducing! We can't let them think of doing such a thing. They will inevitably want to share the enemy with their progeny as they seem to want to talk about him with everyone and their children will be no different. Raising children in their home ... of course the kids are bound to see and hear all the lies that these people spread. You need to get a good lead and I'm going to give you a few tips.
First, before they even make an attempt grip them with fear. If they aren't grasping that babies are a burden and nothing but trouble then remind them that with a baby they will never get to do anything they want to do. Make their outside activities, trips and fun seem so enticing that they won't want to give it up. Plant in her that her only worth is what she can do in a job outside the home and continue to let culture and the media tell her that motherhood is the most narrow and mindless thing she could do. The enemy will try and teach them that motherhood is the greatest of vocations but don't let her believe that. Surround her with mothers who tell her that they "want their life back" so she can hear their experience. She will view this as trustworthy
If they do have children already, let them see more would be burdensome. Let the husband be afraid that he can't provide for another mouth to feed and don't let him think about sacrificing anything for his family. That we can't fight against once he decides to do it so please be careful. Keep their current kids whining, and let them them think that the newborn will come out at this stage too. If the kids are older let them think the new baby would be too far apart and inevitably make their lives difficult. If you have to stress them that they won't be able to give enough love to the new baby and their current children as they are people that actually want to love their children this will make them think twice. We have done a lot of work to embed birth control and abortion as mainstays. It's been tough but we have been successful. We have tricked them to thinking that contraception is safe and by and large they don't believe it when they hear that it allows a child to be conceived but not survive. They even believe that abortion is more about a woman's right to choose than the rights of her child. Amazing, I know. If you can get her to take contraception, great-- but really push sterilization. Let her think fertility is a disease and you will easily sway her away from children.
If that doesn't work which is may not because if they are talking about children they have the strange idea that a baby would be a blessing, do whatever you can to make them busy. On the days they could actually conceive make sure they are too tired or not home or doing something. If they are home get a friend to call for dinner, have them think about errands they need to run. If that doesn't work attack their marriage. Let him say something incentive so she won't want to be intimate. If that doesn't work which it may not since they are close, let the wife think that her husband is no longer her ally or friend. This is tough but if you are diligent you can do it. When they are too busy or tired to be intimate let her think that he allows this because he doesn't really want kids. Plant seeds of deception. She won't want to push him or force him and so she will abandon the idea if you can turn her head.
If you can't distract them or separate them then you need to work fiercely to remind her that getting a perfect baby isn't easy and can involve a lot of sadness and pain for her. Remind her of all her friends who deal with infertility or miscarriage. Convince her because she cares about babies that this will inevitably happen to her and remind her of this with ever negative pregnancy test. Overwhelm her with fear so you can stress her body and make it harder to conceive. If she struggles with infertility or a miscarriage convince her it's better not to try. Let her confuse mercy with fear and this will push her to not put herself and her husband through the pain that their attempts at having a baby could bring. Let her forget what true mercy and grace is and whatever you do don't let her remember that the enemy can work outside of time, diseases or circumstances. Let her think she is alone for if she asks from the enemy she will receive. Let the husband feel as though he can't possibly say anything right in these circumstances and let him say nothing. This will help her to feel alone and that's right where we are most successful.
Should you fail completely at least we will have another charge and you can even use these children to distract these two from the enemy and from each other. Be on guard as this is a last resort.
Your Malevolent Uncle,
Screwtape
___________
The original Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis depict an older demon writing to a younger demon. It's a thought provoking and enjoyable read and I thought creating one would be fun. Just for clarification babies are precious, contraception does cause abortion, and babies are never a burden. For the mommies struggling with miscarriage, infertility, or simply the challenges of a TTC journey know that my heart and prayers are with you. While I kept the post concise I know there are many more things I could have touched on here and know that the most important thing I hope to share is not to lose hope. Our God is able to do much more than we can imagine. <3
-Anita
Showing posts with label nfp. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nfp. Show all posts
Sunday, May 24, 2015
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
What is Natural Family Planning? FAQ and Answers
Stunned I told my husband "we can't use this stuff" and I got no fight because God has been challenging his heart that maybe it wasn't best for no uncertain reason.
So newly married... no birth control.... growing up in a society that teaches unprotected sex leads to babies I knew we couldn't just "do nothing" or "wing it." So I researched. I studied. and through the rest of my most frequently asked questions on the topic I'm going to share what I learned.
Isn't NFP just doing nothing? isn't it the rhythm method?
NFP is NOT doing nothing - it's actually a process to learn. It's not .... checking the calendar... (which essentially assumes every woman has a 28 day cycle and that we all ovulate on day 14 and simply abstains on that day) but is more fondly called Fertility Awareness Methods and provides through a various number of methods standard ways to monitor fertility. Some methods monitor cervical mucus, temperature, cervix position, use fertility monitors... and some use combinations of this.
What method do I use?
When I started I used Billings. It was easier to learn than some of the others and I failed to be able to take my temperature at the same time daily due to my changing rotations. I was not checking my cervix as I personally was not interested in that. Billings monitors cervical mucus only and through some guidelines helps you determine your fertile window. When trying to achieve pregnancy... go for the window and when your trying to avoid... keep the window closed. It's fairly simple in concept, takes some effort to learn and ultimately grows you in patience.
Now we are using Creighton which is a bit more specific than Billings but both are similar in that they monitor cervical mucus.
What about condoms?
While from a medical standpoint condoms don't hurt you per say they don't help you unless your having multiple partners and at risk for STDs, they may help but not fully prevent infection. Even if you don't have a latex allergy, can handle the experience of a condom and have a husband who will use them...some things you may not know is it is healthier to not use one. (Note: I'm talking to people in committed monogamous relationships.) The female cervix actually absorbs sperm and this can be a natural antidepressant, and can help the female body learn to recognize the male DNA as "self" and some studies indicate this may lesson miscarriage. While there are tons of causes of miscarriage lessening the chance is always a good idea.
Ultimately though for us it boiled down to what was biblical and was not biblical. Genesis 38 starting in verse 8 tells the story of Onan. It says Onan spilled his semen on the ground. He interrupts sexual intercourse to prevent procreation. For Onan he was selfish. By Levirate law he marries his brothers widow and since he died without children (Deut. 25:5) by law the first born male would be considered the son of the deceased man. Onan by spilling his seed on the ground gets the dead man's property and his wife but if he has no children with her the property remains his. God didn't take that lightly and he struck Onan dead/ slew him also. Now some will say that that Onan was struck dead not for "spilling his seed" but because he broke the law. However in Deuteronomy 25: 5-10 explains levirate law: death wasn't the penalty for not taking your brothers wife and not having children. Simply: you handed over the sandal... meaning you lost the brothers property and there was great humiliation (someone might spit in your face). So if it wasn't because Onan broke the law and refused to give children to his brothers name, than the only other thing he did was interrupt the marital act. Anything that interrupts the act then is not honoring to God. No pulling out, no condoms or other barrier methods. Marital intimacy is fully between a husband and wife. To be one flesh you can't have a piece of plastic between you. Just saying.
Keep in mind a compromise to birth control and NFP is NOT barrier methods. This isn't a meet in the middle spot. Note I'm not advocating for sex among the masses to be without condoms. Even Pope Benedict explained greater good on this issue. The lesser evil would be to prevent disease for those who are in HIV rampant areas or in Pope Benedict's example a male with HIV using a condom. In this case your protecting life first but ultimately using a condom is still sinful. In a monogamous marriage with no HIV or communicable disease there is no grave moral reason to use a condom.
Doesn't using NFP/not using any birth control mean you will end up with 19 kids?
No. God alone gives life. Ask any mommy who has tried for a baby and they will tell you they aren't "planned". Women who try for babies don't always get them and women who use condoms and birth control together sometimes end up pregnant. The conclusion then would not be to jump to contraception/sterilization with the idea "God will give me a baby if He wants." Yes God can give you a child despite your tubal ligation or birth control but to trust God fully means to trust Him with your fertility. That means being open to whatever He brings. Using NFP is a natural way to avoid pregnancy and while it is as or more effective than most birth controls when practiced properly we aren't doing anything to alter the marital act before, during or after. We leave marital intimacy whole every time. For us we have been using NFP for over 2 years and we have no children. We have avoided pregnancy with the understanding that if God gave us a baby we would be overjoyed.
If you have done NFP for over 2 years and have no children are you infertile?
Nope! My charts show that I have a fertile pattern.
If you use NFP to avoid does that mean you never have sex?
No!!! It just means during the fertile window when trying to avoid we abstain.
What if you don't have normal periods ?
There is no "normal." There are general parameters but ultimately we all vary as we are all unique even down to our cycles. (And yes a cycle is not just a period. Every day for a woman is part of her fertility cycle).
Does NFP put everything on the woman?
No. NFP requires both spouses to be involved, and open to life. For us we weren't on the same page at first and it took a while to figure it out but ultimately we have grown closer and learned more about my health than we ever would have known on BC.
Why doesn't my OBGYN/ Family practice doctor know about this?
As a health care provider myself I tell you my patients teach me a lot so don't be afraid to share. Having just educated my OBGYN that NFP is NOT just the rhythm method she was shocked even after medical school, a residency, and a fellowship. You see in allopathic medicine (MDs, PAs) we literally don't learn NFP. We learn birth control and we learn that people try the rhythm method and it doesn't work. No other information is taught in most program and training and unless someone shares or looks into it ...we don't know. The urge many times is to abandon the doctor because for those who do NFP many times it feels as though providers push birth control but a healthy conversation to explain that NFP is scientifically based can at least create an opportunity. That to be said there are wonderful NFP only providers and Naprotechnology doctors all over.
So when you say natural... what if you can't get pregnant?
There are many ways to naturally enhance pregnancy and promoting life is always a good thing. Some medications can help as well as specially trained professionals in Naprotechnology can offer options many OBGYNs don't as they honestly haven't been trained to do so. Invitro Fertilization does allow lives to be formed that do not survive and does separate the procreative process from the marital act. Anything that makes a baby without the natural marital act is well... not natural. For those attempting to be natural and to protect life these are not options. I could go into more of why but that would be a long response and good for another blog post.
Does NFP take all the fun out of sex?
Nope. It takes away the selfishness of sex in my opinion but not the fun. However, the physical part of sex is only part of it and ultimately it isn't "just fun" it's fun and unitive, body and soul.
What if you just had a baby and don't have a cycle? or have a medical condition where you don't have a cycle?
I would recommend you do the Creighton method and I know an awesome instructor that teaches over Skype. If you want her info shoot me any e-mail and I'll help you get connected. (note I don't get paid or anything to send you. But having had friends who went through that I know it can be hard and I wanna help you).
As a PA if you don't believe in birth control do you prescribe it?
No. Personally I'm Catholic and as such prescribing it would be a mortal sin. I do not at this time work in a field though that would require me to prescribe it.
Do you teach NFP?
I do- sort of. I am NOT a certified instructor in any method and I'll always refer to an expert but what I do is teach what I know, share resources and help encourage. I wish I would have had someone to talk to because honestly at the time I really didn't.
Alright that's a lot of information for one post and a lot of things that could be covered more specifically that I shared a snapshot on. This isn't meant to be all inclusive but helps to answer the questions that I get most. Do you have more? Feel free to comment or e-mail me at beautifulgoodtrue@gmail.com . Honestly I'm happy to share and realize that some of this you may have never heard of and I'm happy to share/answer questions you may have. I'm not an expert I'm just sharing what I've learned and encourage you to research NFP, the methods and to truly pray and ask God to open your heart to the truth. The holy spirit will guide you as He did me because much of this was hard for me to be open to. I thought honestly no birth control = babies and that I needed "protection." I've learned I don't need to protect myself from my husband. He loves me freely, and fully. No need to protect from that. I won't say it has always been easy but I will tell you it has been worth it and our marriage is closer now because of NFP. I am thankful for it and would recommend it even if you don't have religious implications for looking into it.
<3
Anita
Sunday, April 19, 2015
Dear Mommies and Future Mommies:
I am so blessed to have so many lovely people around me pregnant. It seems like the phase of life I'm in it's rare that there is a week where no one has announced an engagement or a baby. It's incredible to see the mommies around me, some who are first time moms others who have a few and are growing their family. Some even are moms who are praying for more, overcoming miscarriage, challenged by health issues or struggling with being on the same page as a spouse. Some are trying to work out the finances or dealing with various struggles. Some are praying for a baby and waiting.
For me I'm not a mother to a human being and I never have been. I've never had the wonder or shock of two lines on pregnancy test, so I've never been met with the excitement or fear that comes with that. I've never lost a baby to miscarriage, I've never had to decide life. I've never tried to conceive a child so I haven't been met with the anticipation and the feeling of a negative tests that I was hoping would be positive. So essentially I have no form of expertise on the subject of motherhood unless you need tips on mothering a dog, in which case I've got plenty. The roller coaster of our life hasn't brought us to a season of these things just yet but has brought us to a season of NFP and baby stickers and figuring out Billings vs. Creighton model and maybe I'll do a post one day about how that all works but for now just know that we don't know but He does.
But Mommies, know that my heart is with you. As I dream and hope that one day God will open the door and timing to motherhood for me, I know we can all relate to one thing: the unknown. No matter what road your walking whether its TTC, TTA, TTW, or currently pregnant - none of us know what tomorrow with hold. We literally have no control over conception, our ability to carry a pregnancy or not or our ability to safely birth a baby into the world. It's the lack of control that for so many is so challenging and I'll even admit at times the details for us on when to think about trying for a baby or what we hope for that child have kept me up at night. Prayerful discernment is where I am at this moment. Praying for God to prepare me for whatever His plan is and prayer for our marriage that we can grow in holiness through whatever His will is.
It's all been advised but many women in my life:
"your doing the right thing finishing school and getting an education first."
"there's never a perfect time just go for it."
"enjoy your marriage wait for babies."
"if you plan for it will never happen."
But I know the One who has the plan.
I know the one who knits together life.
I know the Great I am. I know the King. I know the Maker and Giver.
So while I have NO IDEA what He has planned... I know what He's put on my heart which is the hundreds and thousands of other mommies that I can pray for in this season of life. I can pray for the sweet women who welcomed baby number 8 on the day she lost her husband. I can pray for those I know that have been waiting for years for God to give them a baby. I can pray for those who wait for the arrival of their baby and pray for safe delivery. I can pray for those who are mommies to children who may be both healthy and unhealthy and for the challenges and gifts each child can bring.
I can pray for the children I hope to have: their lives and that God would start growing their faith even now before they have even been conceived. I pray that He will grow me in the ways He needs to so that I could be a mother that parents with holiness. Holy families raise holy children. I know motherhood will be the most important thing outside of being a wife that I ever do and I'm excited to see what that looks like someday.
You see friends the unknown isn't easy, in some ways I think it's harder than what's known. For my life though, it's the seasons of unknown that have helped me grow to rely on Him for He's never forsaken me.
Mommies. Count it all joy. The path of motherhood is one of the biggest paths of unknowns and one
of the paths of greatest reward. Steward your gift of motherhood to the best of your ability. The days might be hard in many ways but joy comes in the morning. No matter the challenge or the day, no matter the good news or the hard news He can do more than we ask or imagine. Nothing is impossible and nothing is out of His care so bring it all to Him. All the hurt, all the impatience, all the joy and laughter, all the pain and fear. Drop it at the alter. Drop it at the foot of the cross. Drop it at the feet of Jesus.
Even if you end up looking like Hannah who cried so hard the priest thought she was drunk thats ok. Drop it.
1 Samuel 1:10-19
In her bitterness she prayed to the LORD, weeping freely,11and made this vow: “O LORD of hosts, if you look with pity on the hardship of your servant, if you remember me and do not forget me, if you give your handmaid a male child, I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life. No razor shall ever touch his head.”12 As she continued praying before the LORD, Eli watched her mouth,13for Hannah was praying silently; though her lips were moving, her voice could not be heard. Eli, thinking she was drunk,14said to her, “How long will you make a drunken spectacle of yourself? Sober up from your wine!”15“No, my lord!” Hannah answered. “I am an unhappy woman. I have had neither wine nor liquor; I was only pouring out my heart to the LORD.16 Do not think your servant a worthless woman; my prayer has been prompted by my deep sorrow and misery.”17Eli said, “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have requested.”18She replied, “Let your servant find favor in your eyes,” and left. She went to her quarters, ate and drank with her husband, and no longer appeared downhearted.19 Early the next morning they worshiped before the LORD, and then returned to their home in Ramah. When they returned Elkanah had intercourse with his wife Hannah, and the LORD remembered her.
Hannah brought it all. Her bitterness. Her weeping. Her misery. And most of all she wanted a Son to give to the Lord. In verse 18 she "no longer appeared downhearted." She left it all there in the temple knowing He sees and hears. It doesn't say how long Hannah was barren but earlier in the passage it says "year after year" so we know that her journey wasn't short. Like Hannah, I hope to leave everything I have at the feet of Jesus trusting that His timing is perfect and His will is best.
For Hannah- God answered her prayer which you can see through 1 Samuel 1 and 2. But what not only stands out to me is that He answered and she praised Him but He gave her more than she asked for. She asked for a son and 1 Samuel 2:21 says "The LORD favored Hannah so that she conceived and gave birth to three more sons and two daughters, while young Samuel grew up in the service of the LORD." She asked for 1 son and got 4 sons and 2 daughters. He alone knows what we need and the timing for what we need. He's never early or late. So on the days when the desires of my heart for children seem weighty I'll count it all joy and choose to trust Him.
For me I'm not a mother to a human being and I never have been. I've never had the wonder or shock of two lines on pregnancy test, so I've never been met with the excitement or fear that comes with that. I've never lost a baby to miscarriage, I've never had to decide life. I've never tried to conceive a child so I haven't been met with the anticipation and the feeling of a negative tests that I was hoping would be positive. So essentially I have no form of expertise on the subject of motherhood unless you need tips on mothering a dog, in which case I've got plenty. The roller coaster of our life hasn't brought us to a season of these things just yet but has brought us to a season of NFP and baby stickers and figuring out Billings vs. Creighton model and maybe I'll do a post one day about how that all works but for now just know that we don't know but He does.
It's all been advised but many women in my life:
"your doing the right thing finishing school and getting an education first."
"there's never a perfect time just go for it."
"enjoy your marriage wait for babies."
"if you plan for it will never happen."
But I know the One who has the plan.
I know the one who knits together life.
I know the Great I am. I know the King. I know the Maker and Giver.
So while I have NO IDEA what He has planned... I know what He's put on my heart which is the hundreds and thousands of other mommies that I can pray for in this season of life. I can pray for the sweet women who welcomed baby number 8 on the day she lost her husband. I can pray for those I know that have been waiting for years for God to give them a baby. I can pray for those who wait for the arrival of their baby and pray for safe delivery. I can pray for those who are mommies to children who may be both healthy and unhealthy and for the challenges and gifts each child can bring.
I can pray for the children I hope to have: their lives and that God would start growing their faith even now before they have even been conceived. I pray that He will grow me in the ways He needs to so that I could be a mother that parents with holiness. Holy families raise holy children. I know motherhood will be the most important thing outside of being a wife that I ever do and I'm excited to see what that looks like someday.
You see friends the unknown isn't easy, in some ways I think it's harder than what's known. For my life though, it's the seasons of unknown that have helped me grow to rely on Him for He's never forsaken me.
Mommies. Count it all joy. The path of motherhood is one of the biggest paths of unknowns and one
of the paths of greatest reward. Steward your gift of motherhood to the best of your ability. The days might be hard in many ways but joy comes in the morning. No matter the challenge or the day, no matter the good news or the hard news He can do more than we ask or imagine. Nothing is impossible and nothing is out of His care so bring it all to Him. All the hurt, all the impatience, all the joy and laughter, all the pain and fear. Drop it at the alter. Drop it at the foot of the cross. Drop it at the feet of Jesus.
Even if you end up looking like Hannah who cried so hard the priest thought she was drunk thats ok. Drop it.
1 Samuel 1:10-19
In her bitterness she prayed to the LORD, weeping freely,11and made this vow: “O LORD of hosts, if you look with pity on the hardship of your servant, if you remember me and do not forget me, if you give your handmaid a male child, I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life. No razor shall ever touch his head.”12 As she continued praying before the LORD, Eli watched her mouth,13for Hannah was praying silently; though her lips were moving, her voice could not be heard. Eli, thinking she was drunk,14said to her, “How long will you make a drunken spectacle of yourself? Sober up from your wine!”15“No, my lord!” Hannah answered. “I am an unhappy woman. I have had neither wine nor liquor; I was only pouring out my heart to the LORD.16 Do not think your servant a worthless woman; my prayer has been prompted by my deep sorrow and misery.”17Eli said, “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have requested.”18She replied, “Let your servant find favor in your eyes,” and left. She went to her quarters, ate and drank with her husband, and no longer appeared downhearted.19 Early the next morning they worshiped before the LORD, and then returned to their home in Ramah. When they returned Elkanah had intercourse with his wife Hannah, and the LORD remembered her.
Hannah brought it all. Her bitterness. Her weeping. Her misery. And most of all she wanted a Son to give to the Lord. In verse 18 she "no longer appeared downhearted." She left it all there in the temple knowing He sees and hears. It doesn't say how long Hannah was barren but earlier in the passage it says "year after year" so we know that her journey wasn't short. Like Hannah, I hope to leave everything I have at the feet of Jesus trusting that His timing is perfect and His will is best.
For Hannah- God answered her prayer which you can see through 1 Samuel 1 and 2. But what not only stands out to me is that He answered and she praised Him but He gave her more than she asked for. She asked for a son and 1 Samuel 2:21 says "The LORD favored Hannah so that she conceived and gave birth to three more sons and two daughters, while young Samuel grew up in the service of the LORD." She asked for 1 son and got 4 sons and 2 daughters. He alone knows what we need and the timing for what we need. He's never early or late. So on the days when the desires of my heart for children seem weighty I'll count it all joy and choose to trust Him.
<3
(note : TTC= Trying to Conceive TTA= Trying to Avoid Pregnancy TTW= trying to whatever)
No matter where you are trust Him.
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Baby Cakes and NFP: the truth about family planning and birth control.
When you hear the phrase "Natural Family Planning" you might think one of a few things: doesn't work, calendar/rhythm method, babies. This is what I thought. I thought "safe sex" was when you used some form of "protection" to prevent pregnancy or STDs. What I couldn't tell you was why I needed "safe sex" in my marriage where sex was meant to be. Why did I need protection from my husband who I promised to give myself freely to without reservation? There isn't one form of contraception whether hormonal or barrier that is 100% (not even tubal ligation or vasectomy). No matter what you choose you are "playing the odds." 99% effective...84% effective.... 10% effective... These are all numbers for commonly used methods.
What my husband and I wanted was not protection from each other, rather we wanted a loving marriage that honored God but we weren't ready for children. I was finishing PA school and he was working as a golf instructor which together didn't add up to a financial situation that would accommodate children. We live far away from any family and we truly couldn't afford a baby. We learned how birth control would not only ravage my body, increase my risk of breast, liver and cervical cancer, but also led to the conception but denied implantation to babies. If they do implant many times they are starved and suffocated to death due to the thinning of the uterine lining. These truths blew my mind, how were women signing up for this stuff in the form of a pill, vaginal ring, patch, arm implant and shot? Because they don't know the truth. I knew if I thought eating genetically modified food was bad, I'd be a hypocrite to take birth control and I knew that no matter what I thought, those babies were precious and the idea of children not living without me even knowing a medicine I was taking was killing them broke my heart. How could I be against abortion, against the starving of children in 3rd world countries, and against the abuse of all people and take a medication that did this? I stopped immediately.
Then, I did what any determined woman who wanted intimacy with her husband but could not have a baby would do: research. I learned and read and absorbed so much and stumbled across natural family planning. It was challenging at first but now is the most amazing thing that we could have done. It has brought us so much closer in our marriage and has allowed us to learn much more about sex being a gift not a right.
Sex is a gift not a right.
Now 2 years later we have no children (other than our four legged fur baby - Gracie Lou.) It's not that we don't want them we absolutely do (hello baby fever) but while I know there is never a "perfect time" to have a baby the last 2 years were definitely not the time. We had to get a little bit more stable in our marriage and in our finances. Had we been able to afford it I would have been overjoyed to have a baby on our honeymoon. Our first year of marriage was my clinical year of PA school so my hours were busy and rotating through 9 different medical specialties each with varied demands. Now I'm one year out of school and working and my husband has a good job. We know that God will call us to parenthood sometime and while we haven't been able to say "we are ready" just yet we have allowed God to determine our readiness by being open to life. (Note this does not mean just "winging it"). We are faithful to practice what God declares in his word "the denial of ourselves for the purpose of prayer."
So how does NFP or what I would prefer to call "Fertility Awareness Methods" work? There are several methods to use. Some of the most popular are Creighton, Billings and Sympto-Thermal. I'll be honest and tell you we use Billings and it has worked for us. You can find more info on it here:
http://www.thebillingsovulationmethod.org
Essentially you monitor cervical mucus to monitor fertility and during the time of peak fertility you abstain from intimacy. Through NFP I can enjoy the marital intimacy with my husband but I can also trust God with my fertility, avoiding with just reason. Note: the catholic church is clear that couples should not limit family size out of selfishness. We won't restrict children to get to go on more vacations. We wouldn't say having a boy and a girl means we're "done" as if babies come in sets and once you collect them all your good. We follow the principles of the billings method and through God's grace He has not given us more than we can handle in the form of a baby up until this point.
Ok I know what your thinking...NFP for two years? She must just not be able to have a baby...or they must never be intimate. Both are wrong my friends. The effectiveness of billings is here: http://www.thebillingsovulationmethod.org/how-effective-is-the-billings-ovulation-method™/effectiveness-in-preventing-pregnancy.html
As you may know...or can read about in my conversion story... my knowledge of birth control led me to the catholic church but many non-catholics use this. Mother Teresa taught this to women all over the world. Sadly many catholics do not follow church teaching on this issue which confuses the masses but know this : The Catholic Church has never allowed any form of contraception. In fact, up until the 1930s NO CHURCH allowed or promoted contraception.
The most important thing I share with women on this topic is the understanding that making a baby is not like baking a cake. You do not put the ingredients in the oven and get one. A couple who has natural sex with no protection could not get pregnant for quite a while without any medical abnormality on either persons part. God is the giver of life and there is no "planned pregnancy" as even if you are TTCing or (trying to conceive) you are praying and hoping but you have NO CONTROL. In a world obsessed with instant gratification and being in control this is challenging so we step in with methods that hurt babies and women to stop and speed up the process. We treat making a baby like a process where if you put in the right ingredients you then get a baby. However, ask any woman who has struggled with infertility and been told "you and your partner have no reason you shouldn't be pregnant." They will tell you it doesn't work like this. They will tell you that each child is a gift. In a culture where fertility is a disease then babies will be an inconvenience, a side effect of the "disease." The treatment? contraception and abortion. This is an awful reality.
When couples understand that God has called them to "be fruitful and multiply" (Gn 1:28) and trust God with their marriage and their fertility they are going to trust Him to give them only what they need. When a couple understands that sex is not just for physical pleasure but a spiritual experience to glorify God and renew your marriage vows they know that putting anything between you separating the "one flesh."
Matthew 19:6 says "Therefore, what God has joined together no human being must separate." God has joined sex to marriage. He's joined babies to the gift of sex. As husbands love wives like Christ loves the church we have to ask ourselves would Christ ever sterilize His love? No. Christ loves us freely and fully without limit or exception. Friends lets love our spouses in the same way. Let's love God in this same way.
Finally friends, NFP can be used to attain pregnancy and not just avoid. If your TTCing check it out it might HELP but remember all babies come from God and there is no magic trick or pill to getting pregnant. It can even be used if you have an "irregular" period, PCOS, or other condition that affects your ability to follow a normal cycle. Friends there are several methods for NFP: Creighton, Billings, Symptothermal.. ect. Please look into the true methods and DO NOT rely on a phone app as NOT ONE works. You are not a computer ladies, you are a woman and that app is only going to take a guess. You would have to know your body, follow the guidelines and take a leap of faith knowing whether your using it to avoid or TTC it's all in God's hands.
It won't be easy friends to trust God but it will be worth it. I know for my husband and I it has completely improved our communication, our understanding of each other, and has allowed us to honor God with our marriage and our lives without exception.
Note: I am not a certified NFP instructor but if you have questions I'm happy to answer based on what I know from my experience and research.
Thanks friends.
<3
Anita
What my husband and I wanted was not protection from each other, rather we wanted a loving marriage that honored God but we weren't ready for children. I was finishing PA school and he was working as a golf instructor which together didn't add up to a financial situation that would accommodate children. We live far away from any family and we truly couldn't afford a baby. We learned how birth control would not only ravage my body, increase my risk of breast, liver and cervical cancer, but also led to the conception but denied implantation to babies. If they do implant many times they are starved and suffocated to death due to the thinning of the uterine lining. These truths blew my mind, how were women signing up for this stuff in the form of a pill, vaginal ring, patch, arm implant and shot? Because they don't know the truth. I knew if I thought eating genetically modified food was bad, I'd be a hypocrite to take birth control and I knew that no matter what I thought, those babies were precious and the idea of children not living without me even knowing a medicine I was taking was killing them broke my heart. How could I be against abortion, against the starving of children in 3rd world countries, and against the abuse of all people and take a medication that did this? I stopped immediately.
Then, I did what any determined woman who wanted intimacy with her husband but could not have a baby would do: research. I learned and read and absorbed so much and stumbled across natural family planning. It was challenging at first but now is the most amazing thing that we could have done. It has brought us so much closer in our marriage and has allowed us to learn much more about sex being a gift not a right.
Sex is a gift not a right.
Now 2 years later we have no children (other than our four legged fur baby - Gracie Lou.) It's not that we don't want them we absolutely do (hello baby fever) but while I know there is never a "perfect time" to have a baby the last 2 years were definitely not the time. We had to get a little bit more stable in our marriage and in our finances. Had we been able to afford it I would have been overjoyed to have a baby on our honeymoon. Our first year of marriage was my clinical year of PA school so my hours were busy and rotating through 9 different medical specialties each with varied demands. Now I'm one year out of school and working and my husband has a good job. We know that God will call us to parenthood sometime and while we haven't been able to say "we are ready" just yet we have allowed God to determine our readiness by being open to life. (Note this does not mean just "winging it"). We are faithful to practice what God declares in his word "the denial of ourselves for the purpose of prayer."
So how does NFP or what I would prefer to call "Fertility Awareness Methods" work? There are several methods to use. Some of the most popular are Creighton, Billings and Sympto-Thermal. I'll be honest and tell you we use Billings and it has worked for us. You can find more info on it here:
http://www.thebillingsovulationmethod.org
Essentially you monitor cervical mucus to monitor fertility and during the time of peak fertility you abstain from intimacy. Through NFP I can enjoy the marital intimacy with my husband but I can also trust God with my fertility, avoiding with just reason. Note: the catholic church is clear that couples should not limit family size out of selfishness. We won't restrict children to get to go on more vacations. We wouldn't say having a boy and a girl means we're "done" as if babies come in sets and once you collect them all your good. We follow the principles of the billings method and through God's grace He has not given us more than we can handle in the form of a baby up until this point.
Ok I know what your thinking...NFP for two years? She must just not be able to have a baby...or they must never be intimate. Both are wrong my friends. The effectiveness of billings is here: http://www.thebillingsovulationmethod.org/how-effective-is-the-billings-ovulation-method™/effectiveness-in-preventing-pregnancy.html
As you may know...or can read about in my conversion story... my knowledge of birth control led me to the catholic church but many non-catholics use this. Mother Teresa taught this to women all over the world. Sadly many catholics do not follow church teaching on this issue which confuses the masses but know this : The Catholic Church has never allowed any form of contraception. In fact, up until the 1930s NO CHURCH allowed or promoted contraception.
 |
| God knits every baby in their mother's womb. No exceptions. In a culture that makes babies a convenience, they make pregnancy seem like a formula. Add the ingredients...get the baby. |
The most important thing I share with women on this topic is the understanding that making a baby is not like baking a cake. You do not put the ingredients in the oven and get one. A couple who has natural sex with no protection could not get pregnant for quite a while without any medical abnormality on either persons part. God is the giver of life and there is no "planned pregnancy" as even if you are TTCing or (trying to conceive) you are praying and hoping but you have NO CONTROL. In a world obsessed with instant gratification and being in control this is challenging so we step in with methods that hurt babies and women to stop and speed up the process. We treat making a baby like a process where if you put in the right ingredients you then get a baby. However, ask any woman who has struggled with infertility and been told "you and your partner have no reason you shouldn't be pregnant." They will tell you it doesn't work like this. They will tell you that each child is a gift. In a culture where fertility is a disease then babies will be an inconvenience, a side effect of the "disease." The treatment? contraception and abortion. This is an awful reality.
When couples understand that God has called them to "be fruitful and multiply" (Gn 1:28) and trust God with their marriage and their fertility they are going to trust Him to give them only what they need. When a couple understands that sex is not just for physical pleasure but a spiritual experience to glorify God and renew your marriage vows they know that putting anything between you separating the "one flesh."
Matthew 19:6 says "Therefore, what God has joined together no human being must separate." God has joined sex to marriage. He's joined babies to the gift of sex. As husbands love wives like Christ loves the church we have to ask ourselves would Christ ever sterilize His love? No. Christ loves us freely and fully without limit or exception. Friends lets love our spouses in the same way. Let's love God in this same way.
Finally friends, NFP can be used to attain pregnancy and not just avoid. If your TTCing check it out it might HELP but remember all babies come from God and there is no magic trick or pill to getting pregnant. It can even be used if you have an "irregular" period, PCOS, or other condition that affects your ability to follow a normal cycle. Friends there are several methods for NFP: Creighton, Billings, Symptothermal.. ect. Please look into the true methods and DO NOT rely on a phone app as NOT ONE works. You are not a computer ladies, you are a woman and that app is only going to take a guess. You would have to know your body, follow the guidelines and take a leap of faith knowing whether your using it to avoid or TTC it's all in God's hands.
It won't be easy friends to trust God but it will be worth it. I know for my husband and I it has completely improved our communication, our understanding of each other, and has allowed us to honor God with our marriage and our lives without exception.
Note: I am not a certified NFP instructor but if you have questions I'm happy to answer based on what I know from my experience and research.
Thanks friends.
<3
Anita
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