Labels

I have many labels. In no particular order here are a few:
Student
scholarship recipient
Woman
friend
teacher
dog owner
driver
citizen of the united states
survivor
victim
Wife
child of God
asthmatic
caffeine addict (as I am drinking a pumpkin spice latte)
Facebook friend
redhead
tall
sinner

Sometimes there are things that aren't labeled. Deficiencies that we don't recognize. At times in my life you could have named me some other things:
homeless
fornicating
rude
immature
insecure
orphaned
These I have overcome in many ways.
I got a new label today "Profoudly hearing impaired"
It's something I've known was a problem for a long time. I have always had trouble with the TV being too loud, the phone can only be on my left, not hearing what people say, and definitely misunderstanding people. It's something that I always wanted to ignore because I thought I could compensate. But in my job I'm having trouble doing that. I'm having trouble hearing my husband, my friends, my patience, the stethoscope. These are important.
They want to do an MRI to see if there is any sort of growth on the optic nerve or around it. From there I'll most likely get a hearing aid for my right side.
I feel like it keeps being something. My skin, my ovary, my ear, my lungs...
and yet while the physical problems are so frustrating I see everyday how blessed I am. my blood pressure was 102/66 today. My patients would give their kidneys for blood pressure like that. I can walk, I can talk, I can think, I am blessed.
But these things have been hurting my heart lately. Last night I heard Psalm 13 being preached on. It says:
How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?    How long will you hide your face from me?² How long must I wrestle with my thoughts    and day after day have sorrow in my heart?    How long will my enemy triumph over me?³ Look on me and answer, Lord my God.    Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,⁴ and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”    and my foes will rejoice when I fall.⁵ But I trust in your unfailing love;    my heart rejoices in your salvation.⁶ I will sing the Lord’s praise,    for he has been good to me.
I should be in verses 5 and 6. David chooses to say BUT, I TRUST. I know God hasn't forgotten me. I know He hasn't given up and I see Him working. But man am I unsure of what He is doing. I don't know what He is doing at church, at work, with my health. I don't know where He is taking me or where He wants me. But I know He has been so good. My heart rejoices that He has chosen me and has unfailing love for me. But I need to trust, trust that my God has a reason for all of this. Trust that while I don't like MRIs or blood work or skin biopsies or any of that, that there is a reason behind all of it and only God knows what that is but He will do amazing things. I know it.
"Whatever my lot thou has taught me to say It is well it is well with my soul."
<3
Friends praying that no matter where you are that you remember Gods plan. It's ok to have questions, it's ok to be afraid, even Jesus was. But take that to God and God alone. Let your brothers and sisters in Christ encourage you, but it is God alone that knows your hurts and it is God alone that is in control.
Keep praying friends. Keep giving Him your words and your thoughts and your tears. Let your labels be:
good and faithful servent

Even so, it is well with my soul.