faith in the face of fear

Hi friends,
How are you? 

I start hundreds of posts in my head for this blog, and half the time I don't write. Why? partly because there are things that I only have a few word comments on..nothing post worthy. What do I mean?
- So many people believe in God but they miss that Jesus is the way the truth and the light.
- I have the cutest doggie ever.
- Marriage is a continual learning experience, but I am so thankful for it. 

see these are one line thoughts, good ones, but still not enough to do a whole post on it. 

Today though I have something that is in my mind. Fear. Now I'm the same person that will tell you that Fear Not is commanded more in the bible than anything else...but so much easier said than done. And yet I know what I need is faith. the bible says: "If you are not firm in faith, you will not be firm at all"- Isaiah 7:9 These words are SO true, and I know that Faith is assurance of the things unseen. Why is it so difficult though? Why is it so hard to have faith in the place of fear?  I think several factors play into it. 

1- our world isn't generally positive, but rather teaches you really quickly not only do you not always get what you think you deserve but also shows you really quickly that sometimes life makes no sense. 
2- the most optimistic person I know is my husband. It's one of the reasons I married him. He is the man that will pray for a miracle longer than anyone else. He's the guy who I know hands down will not give up. He has a faith in the face of fear that I admire, but also makes me feel ridiculous to fear at all and yet I fear things just the same. I pray to be more like Paul because I know his faith is the childlike faith that Christ said we need to have. I'm so blessed to have him. While I appreciate him, honestly, I don't know anyone else who is so optimistic. When we were getting married people were telling us that we were nuts and Paul wasn't phased, he just had faith. Paul helps me to stretch my faith and i'm so thankful for it, but I don't know anyone else like him. So many people share so much of their fear so easily and I see so much of it that maybe it makes it easier to fear than have faith.
3-being a woman. I honestly think women fear more than men. Maybe because God made us the weaker vessel. Maybe because of the estrogen. I don't know.
4- satan wants us to fear. he is continually feeding us lies telling us to fear, but in my life in the last 3 or so weeks I've seen this more and more. 

So what am I afraid of?
- Wednesday I have a dermatology appointment. I'm scared of them finding something. I'm scared of  surgery again. I'm scared of having more scars. I'm scared of missing school time and graduating late. 
-I'm scared of being a bad wife. 
-I'm scared of being a bad mom to my doggie gracie. (realized this past week we could be feeding her better food....fail on my part.)
-i'm scared of my final for internal medicine. it's very broad and I don't really like it in the first place and i'm afraid of failing
- i'm afraid of the unknown.

I don't have answers to fear except to circle Gods promises and have faith. But the jump between fear and faith is hard. I know the bridge between the two is Christ so i'm just trusting that He will show me the two. I know God has the plan, and maybe I'm not supposed to admit that I have fears but if I am being honest then I do have fears. I know God is bigger than my fears, but I have them nonetheless. So what choice do I have? 
pray.
sometimes all you can do is read and pray and that sounds like nothing and yet it's everything. 
so I'm praying that God will calm my fears and that He will help me to overcome all my fears. I'm praying that He will strengthen my faith and that He will show me where to go and what to do in all of these situations.Gotta put on the armor of God and just trust him to do the battle. 

Friends I'm sure you have fears to but I pray that you will let Christ bridge you to having faith. 

<3