Marriage

God has blessed me so much with an amazing husband. Right now i'm in the middle of cooking dinner for us. I say us because if I say him he will say "but your eating it too" but if you know me your know I wouldn't be cooking if it weren't for him. :)

My rotation in internal medicine has put me around a lot of elderly people and I have gotten a lot of thoughts about marriage from them.

A couple today came in. Been married 62 years. They were friends- you could see it. They were so sweet and talked quite a bit. She was a bit more shy, he was very analytical. They talked about helping each other " I don't know if you helped me more or I helped you more. It's the same no matter what. we are working together"

I saw woman yesterday been married for 70 years. She said the trick to marriage is not to insist on your own way. She said her marriage was a gift from God.

I had a guy a few days ago... was married for 58 years. She died two years ago and he still tears up about it. He told me "Don't ever take jobs where you don't see each other, and don't argue because you both bound to say something you don't mean.

I've had couples tell me that they are best friends, that they couldn't have made it without each other.
I've had couples argue and then laugh.


But i've also seen couples put one another down. I've seen them be cruel, and rude and ungrateful. I've seen them be together but not love each other. I've seen them be bitter and it is heart breaking.

But today I had a guy who has been married for 35 years. I talked to him about stewarding his health not just for him but for her too. We talked a long time about God and life and marriage and reading together (the patient brought up God first I just allowed him to talk- i say that because it's not "politically correct" for me to talk about God at work, but honestly-- I see God moving there). And I have to say I pray Paul and I make it to 35, 62, 70 years. But if we don't it won't be because we gave up- it will be because one of us dies. Divorce isn't an option and I explained to a guy today if you start with divorce as an option you won't feel the need to work it out when it gets hard you can walk away. But if you say "this has to work. failure isn't an option" I really believe you will make it work. How do I know?

I had a patient today who was in a car accident 12 years ago and it left him disabled. If you saw him your heart would be sad for him but he said to me that if your still breathing you can make anything work. I don't know if he knew the implications of that statement, and I agree with one condition- You can make anything work with God if you are still breathing.

God has blessed Paul and I so much and I'm so glad He is what our marriage is built on. All the other thoughts on marriage I've heard have been sweet but truly no advice replaces the Holy Spirit's guidance.

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I know that with Paul's help and God leading no matter what comes today, tomorrow, or how ever long God blesses us with life here on earth.

Songs of Solomon 5:16 says "this is my lover, this is my friend"  So blessed God designed marriage for love and friendship. I'm married to my best friend and the most amazing blessing.

friends, please if you are married appreciate the gift it is, and if you aren't, please wait for lover and friend that God created for you. Don't settle. Praying for you and your marriages is either presently or in the future that they would be focused on God and led by the Spirit.

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