Update and Amy Carmichael

 Hello friends,
Sorry it's been a bit. I have been doing a lot. Between my rotations (now in general pediatrics) and doctors appointments, and time with the husband I find that I haven't made the time to write. Note I said I didn't have the time, because everyone has time we just decide what we spend it on. This morning I feel compelled to write. God woke me up this morning with an amazing challenge: do you really understand calvary love? do you really know what I did for you.

It all sparked when a good friend of mine who had been in bible studies with me, who had read the bible with me, had gone to church with me texted me and said " i don't think I understand salvation." I was dumbfounded. What do I say? Two days later God gave me something to say but I still had that question ringing inside of me. Not because i'm not sure of my own salvation, but how do you put into words the most fantastic thing that ever happened to you? How do you show someone God? And if you understand God, it changes you. There is no way to come in contact with perfect love and it NOT change you. (note I didn't say that it changes you toward God, for someone people it doesn't but it does change them in one way or another). 

And it's in these questions I find that love, like thanks, like prayer, are actions. A christian life is one of action. Sometimes that action is actively humbling ourselves, actively resting in Him. But many times God is calling us toward His will and purpose. And what do we do? ... more... what do I do? question. But this thought rocked me today:

"It seems to me that all He asks is that we should take the one step He shows us, and in simplest, most practical trust leave all results to Him".- Amy Carmichael 

I feel like that with some of my changes lately. Getting married, changing rotations, changing churches, having lots of tests to see what is wrong with my body. Change is constant and yet it's not. My grandma used to quote Ecclesiates 1:9 to me "there is nothing new under the sun" Nothing is new to God. My complacency, failures, doubts aren't new to God, and the ways I grew are revolutionary from the way great christians before me grew. But yet He still patiently cares for me. He loves me. 
and it's His love, thats what makes the difference. That is what changes a man dying on the cross to being a miracle. It's his love and grace that changes the unforgivable to the forgivable. It's His love that softens my heart, that leads me to be thankful, that breaks down my walls, and kindles the fire of the Holy Spirit that God has put deep within me. It's His love that is the perfect love and it's that perfect love that casts out fear. So when I read Mrs. Carmichael's thoughts I see that while in the letter she wrote this she spoke of fears, it was the love inside of her that knew that we needed to just trust God. 

So thats what I'm doing. Trusting Him with the test results, trusting him with today tomorrow next week next year next century. Trusting that He has a plan. Trusting that while I can't see it all he asks is that I take the step he shows and leave all results to Him. and I'm praying that He will renew this thought in my mind that I really will be able to each moment take that step and trust. For me I have to work at this constantly. To walk by faith is so hard at times, but God shows me day by day that He really does work all things to the good of those who love Him. ... and there we are. Back to love. 

Friends, I am praying for you. That you will trust God will the steps that you don't know where they will lead, and that you will come in contact with God's perfect love.