I Can't Separate My Beliefs From My Medical Practice

If I were to introduce myself I would tell you my name is Anita and I'm a physician assistant. If you don't know what that is it's a member of the health care team that can diagnose, and treat medical conditions just like a doctor would, but we work as part of a team. We work with our doctors, we help fill the need and the gap.  As a PA I can take care of people, and I find that I am less involved in the business side of medicine. I love it but it has it's challenges.

What I might not say in my introductory sentence is that I'm also a christian. Being a christian greatly affects the way I practice medicine. I once was asked to separate my medical practice from my christian beliefs to which I had to say "I can't. I am trying to be kind to my patients, because God gives grace to the humble and He opposes the proud. I try to love my patients because God loves me and calls me to love others. I work hard because scripture tells me to work like I'm working for the Lord. So no I can't separate my beliefs from my practice." I have to tell you God definitely helped me with the words on that one because I wanted to say "what? is that really a suggestion?" God gave me grace and patience and love in that moment that I needed and so often He helps me with my patients. 

He helps me to comfort the man who's wife is in the hospital with Alzheimer's and she dying from what I don't know what as I ask him how He's doing and with a cracked voice he says "I don't cry" it's my heart that breaks. 

It's the man who comes in and has no one. He told me how his wife died and he drives around with her ashes in the passenger seat. I met him during my clinical year and I still pray for him because it took everything I had to hold in tears during that visit. It's God that helped break my heart for a man I never met. 

It's the lady who is living in a hotel because she can't afford anything and makes too little on social security to qualify for subsidized housing (yes you read that right so makes too little) and she's telling me that she doesn't understand how God can't see she needs help. It's the words He gives me to share with her that He hasn't forgotten her but loves her and has a plan. 

It's the woman who tells me the reason she is sick is because she doesn't believe enough, because she's been told the lie that if you have enough faith you won't hurt. It's having the courage to share the truth with her:  Jesus had more faith than anyone and He hurt. He cried. He sweat blood. It's not a lack of faith that causes illness. It's having faith despite illness that makes you strong. 

It's the girl who is full of anxiety because she's been treated like garbage by too many people and it impacts her daily life. She's not a christian, but will listen to me encourage her and says thank you when I tell you I'm praying for her. It's a thank you that's genuine, and the visit I forgot to tell her she asked me if I still pray for her which let me know even those who don't believe in God don't mind if I talk to Him for them. 

It's fighting for my patient, when someone else finds it easy to walk away. It's the specialists, and insurance peer to peers and the pharmacy calls, and the staying late that I do because I want to take care of people the way the Great Physician would if He had my job. 

It's the patient that I find difficult to be patient with, who at the end thanks me for being so kind. It breaks my heart knowing that I wasn't kind in my heart and her words feel like knives. It teaches me. 

It's the woman who says there is no way she is pregnant short of a miracle because she has PCOS and has tried for years.... and I get to share tears of joy that she is pregnant and it's not a stomach bug! It's God that helped me encourage her and has me still praying for that baby.

See it's my beliefs that make me the provider that cares about her patients more than I ever could on my own. It's the Holy Spirit that helps soften my heart and mold me to be the type of provider that isn't afraid to connect. It's God who helps me ask the woman in my office what she means when she says "things are tough my son" instead of avoiding it to keep a short appointment. 

It's God that helps me to keep integrity, to stand up for the truth no matter how uncomfortable and to  treat my patients like they are family. I've worked hard to learn names and not refer to people as "the guy with melanoma" or "the lady in room 2." I'm not perfect at it, but God has helped me. 

It's evident He helps me in the test I think to order that I've never ordered, but suddenly a moment from my clinical year floods my mind and I find myself doing the right thing. It's Him helping me with the radiology report that says "repeat in 3 months" for the CT, instead I do a PET scan going with my gut and it's positive for cancer. 

I wish I could tell you I am loving, kind and patient with each of the people I care for but I'm not. I fail. I get stressed about being on time, and get impatient and forget to do things, forget to call and ask how the patient I sent to the ER ended up doing, but I'm growing. I'm learning and I'm trying so much to let my beliefs shape how I care about people because it is only then that I will be a good provider. 

I pray that God continues to shape me and continues to help me love people. I pray He continues to help me uphold the oath I took to do no harm, and helps me to be humble enough to admit when I've made a mistake. I pray that He helps me to stand strong despite challenges that come with being a christian provider and that He will help me to trust that all of the people He puts in my care are His patients and I'm just is helper. 

There are patients I can do nothing for but pray for and that's a lot.

No one told me this but I've learned: no matter what area of medicine you go into your not just a persons medical provider, so often your their counselor too. It's God that helps me when they ask me the tough questions: why do bad things happen to me? why did God allow this? why did God forget me? Why did they hurt my son? Why did my husband die? Why did my insurance get canceled? Why did my disability get denied? It's these questions and more that I am so thankful that God helps me admit when I don't know and share what I do. 

No one told me that there would be challenges to maintain and have integrity, or to stand up for life but God has given me the strength and worked out the details. I won't go into all those challenges in this post but know that if your being challenged to keep your beliefs at work your not alone. It might be in a big way, or a small way, but don't give up!! :)

So friends, if your in the health care field don't separate your beliefs from your medical practice. I don't talk about God in every patient room, but I use the love He has shown me to love and encourage my patients to steward their health, to offer up their suffering, to not take their family for granted, to find joy, to trust that it will all work out in time and to know that even the ones I have to help sign up for Hospice are encouraged that life is beautiful and each day is a gift no matter what that day looks like.

If your a patient somewhere look for a provider who cares, who spends time, who listens and who looks at you and not just the computer screen. Know that your provider is a person too and don't forget to encourage them, they might need it. Maybe you can show God's love to your doctor who doesn't know Him because we can't tell patients not to talk about things :)

Friends no matter what your job: work like your working for the Lord. Love People. Love God. Show the world the beauty of the christian faith as they will never see it as good or true if they don't believe it's beautiful.

I'm sure it's a challenge to be a christian in any field. What are some of the challenges you face? How do you get through them?

<3

Anita